“If somebody is spending a huge amount of time on a second job, then they can’t be maintaining support for their constituents” (Lord Evans)
Masking The Truth
Waking at dawn on a cold, blustery Monday, I fell back to sleep until quite late. The plaster came off my cut thumb in the bath. As soreness prevailed, maybe it wasn’t a good idea cutting a flap of dead skin off. Phil announced there was a letter for me. Fearing the worst, I took my time opening it, but it was good news. “That’s that then,” Phil declared, “at least it was only a few weeks rather than years of investigation.” “Yes but why am I losing weight?” “You’re not eating enough.” “I think I am. I might ring the GP to get other bits checked out.” Assailed by a keen wind taking recycling out, I vowed to stay indoors, texted Walking Friend to arrange lunch midweek, posted blogs and worked on the next episode of the journal until head fug forced a halt. Nodding off with a dry throat that evening, I hoped I wasn’t getting ill and went up early.
Furious MPs held a 3-hour emergency debate on parliamentary standards. Hardly anyone on the tory side of the chamber (incidentally bare-faced), The Bumbler didn’t turn up at all, conveniently having a prior engagement at Hexham General Hospital. He said the train didn’t get back in time. In fact, it pulled into Kings Cross at 5.30 p.m. and the session went on until 7. His approval rating dropped to -16. Belarus sent migrants to the Polish border leading to the declaration of a state of emergency and Brussels claiming Lukashenko, in league with Russia, sought to destabilise the EU in retaliation for sanctions. Flying to the USA allowed, I got a message from booking.com telling me to book a holiday.
Tuesday, I worked on the journal while Phil worked on his new click job. Using headphones, I remarked it was easier to know when he was actually doing a work, rather than looking at crap on his phone but he disliked wearing them. I had to go to the co-op before lunch again. At least it was quiet. When head fug set in late afternoon, I changed activity to iron and stow some summer clothes.
The deadline for care workers to be fully vaccinated looming, Jeremy Vine debated mandatory NHS jabs. A sacked carer in tears said she had no choice. “Yes, you did!” I screamed at the telly and raged at the lack of medical bods to counter her daft claims that the vaccine was untested and ineffective. Later, Goblin Saj announced 2 jabs would be compulsory for frontline NHS staff from 1st April, unless medically-exempt. Some predicted 123,000 health and care workers could leave rather than be inoculated. Forced to defend Boris visiting the hospital mask-less yesterday, The Goblin insisted his boss followed the rules. But the DOH, as Rabid Raab was reminded on BBC Breakfast, advised all ‘must continue to wear a face covering at all times.’ Recent experience taught me this was the case, even in corridors. TfL reported ¾ of staff had suffered abuse over the issue and blamed Boris for mixed messages. Second jobs becoming a big issue, Devon MP and lawyer Geoffrey Cox allegedly used his Westminster office to earn almost £900,000 representing the Virgin Islands on a corruption case. Annalise Dodds asked for an investigation. It then transpired Cox claimed £22,000 a year to rent a London flat while letting out another one for £10,000. You couldn’t make this stuff up!
Cover Story
After raining all night, Wednesday stayed miserable. About to shake throws out, I heard voices and opened the door to see a man almost on the doorstep while the woman from next-door-but-one stood in the street under an umbrella. Phil later witnessed them doing a photoshoot. “The glamour never stops round here!” Suitably attired, I waited for Walking Friend who was coming straight from having a booster jab. “How was it?” “I don’t know yet.” We walked to the town centre, discussed my travails and went to the Turkish café where she told me her news. Her oldest friend had died suddenly last month. Much more traumatic than my own woes, I felt bad rambling on about them. The only relatives a distant brother-in-law and an elderly aunt, she ended up organising the funeral which took place the previous day. Although a sad occasion, she was pleased to see several old acquaintances and receive donations for cat rescue. On a pleasanter note, we shared stories about our September breaks before doing the rounds of charity shops and gazing at the river. The heron stood alert on the weir and she spotted kingfishers. Of course they’d gone by the time I looked. Feeling out-of-sorts, she was unsure if it was grief, stress or side-effects from the Pfizer. I empathised and walked with her towards the bus stop. Back home, I slumped on the sofa, briefly updated Phil and went for a lie down.
The Welsh government extended mandatory face-coverings to cinemas and theatres. Geoffrey Cox denied breaching parliamentary rules. The Bumbler went to COP26 for publication of the draft ‘cover decision’ to be agreed by the end of the summit. Criticism came from Greenpeace and Christian Aid, for not including dates or obligations, being too soft, too slow, not enough, and containing gaps such as money for poor countries. John Kerry announced a surprise agreement between China and USA, pledging to cut emissions and move to clean energy. While Andy Bowie resigned over sleaze, Boris unedifyingly had to address the row and insist the UK parliament wasn’t corrupt. It didn’t escape notice that last week he flew from Glasgow so he wouldn’t miss dinner with his chums at the Garrick Club, but this week, he took trains so he could skip important commons debates. Again mask-less until he alighted in Scotland where they were obligatory, some said he was sending his own message. Merkel called on Russia to intervene on the Belarussian ‘inhumane’ treatment of migrants, pushing them to the Polish border. Astronauts returning from ISS on Space X wore nappies because the toilet broke.
Feeling slightly ill again Thursday, I took Echinacea and attempted some exercise. After breakfast, Phil commandeered the bathroom while I sorted washing, did chores and made coffee. The market thankfully not busy, I got mussels at the fish van, but no parsley. “That’s’ because of the mussels,” I told him. How can you have mussels without parsley?” “Oh yeah. I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll get more next time.” The sociopath German hippy was chatting to the jolly veg man so I retreated to the square where a busker played guitar, threw a coin in his case and shared a smile. He was actually pretty good, unlike an erstwhile teacher playing trumpet really badly round the corner. Almost as horrific as her crooning, at least she couldn’t sing with the instrument in her gob! I saw an old pub friend’s daughter on the way back. She updated me on her mum, her 2 jobs and not being a manager at Aldi as German Friend told me. Planning to go to Leeds, Phil was still home and criticised my treatment of the mussels. I told him to sod off and faffed trying to keep them in a net bag but as I dunked them in a bowl of oats and water, they weren’t fully covered so I had to snip the bag creating evil micro-plastic – grr! I edited ‘Copperopolis’ and posted the update on Cool Placesi then rang the GP surgery. 11th in the queue, I waited to get a tele appointment next Tuesday before a lie down. I didn’t fully relax but warmed up somewhat.
Phil returned in time for dinner. Calling into the café after a good day in Leeds, he found 2 more prints sold. They wanted him to leave his pictures up as they were the most popular they’d ever had. “it’s official. You’re the most successful local artist…in that café!” I laughed. “Not a very high bar!”
The Kings Fund warned the NHS was ‘on its knees’ with overstretched and exhausted staff and chronic workforce shortages. German daily cases up 3,500 in a week, the interim government took the same approach as the UK but fearing a hospital emergency, medics wanted lockdown. Chair of the committee on standards in public life, Lord Evans said if an MP spent lots of time on a second job, they couldn’t be supporting their constituents. Rishi Rich insipidly said they ‘must do better’. Red wall tories were livid with the old guard protecting their own. Ben Wally wrote to labour and the SNP about 3 MPs accused of drunkenness on a flight to Gibraltar as part of the Armed Forces Parliamentary Scheme. Nicola Sturgeon called the claims concerning Drew Hendry and David Linden ‘false’. Labour said Charlotte Nichols experienced an ‘episode’. Tories rejected counter-claims their own MPs got drunk that night and said it was ‘quite clearly a desperate attempt to deflect attention.’ A more likely story was that it was the other way round! A record 1,200 migrants crossed the channel in a single day and 3 were lost at sea. 23,000 so far reaching Kent in 2021 was already more than the whole of 2020. Critics still sceptical COP26 would achieve anything, Look North reported ITM Power would be the largest producer of green hydrogen power, creating 300 jobs on the old Sheffield airport site by the end 2022. The ONS reported the economy grew 1.3%.
Still iffy Friday, I pottered before an uneventful trip to the co-op. Cleaning the bathroom later, I heard the landline ring. Phil answered and impatiently brandished the handset while I washed my hands. The hospital consultant told me the test results, which I’d already had, and said there was nothing to worry about which was re-assuring. Telling Phil, he pulled a face in mock-disgust: “That’s enough of that women’s stuff!”
ONS data showed infections fell across the UK to 1:60 people. Highest rates in England among school years 7 to 11, the trend was ‘uncertain’ in 12-24 and 35-49 year olds. WHO reported Europe ‘back at the epicentre of the pandemic’ with deaths up 10% across the continent, mainly driven by outbreaks in Russia and Eastern Europe. Numbers high in Germany, Merkel said people had a duty to get vaccinated and a partial lockdown was imposed in Holland. Boris mixed his metaphors wittering about storm clouds gathering and seeing before what happened when waves started rolling in. At COP26, a re-drafted ‘cover decision’ included more on money for poor countries and a request for all nations to strengthen plans to cut emissions but weakened commitments on fossil fuels. Red Ed warned the 1.50 goal was ‘in mortal peril’. John Kerry thought things were moving in the right direction but not done yet. Alok Sharma admitted disagreements remained and called for a last push to find ‘pragmatic and workable solutions’. Negotiations lasted an extra day. Californian wildfires covered a million acres. Firefighters losing the battle, they saved Gen Sherman.
Inconclusive
Saturday morning was so dazzling I could hardly see. Too much wine the previous night didn’t help. Putting empty bottles out, the woman who lived next door pulled up. She asked if we had a spare USB adaptor for her phone. I dug one out and said she could keep it. We caught the last two hours of sunshine on a gloriously warm day, hurrying through the ridiculously busy town centre and up into woodland. The mellowing canopy visible from our street, it didn’t disappoint close up with fading greens and yellows punctuated by golden oranges.
Stepping aside for a pregnant woman in pagan apparel, accompanied by a man and a woman with a camera, the latter smiled at us: “A lovely day for pictures!” She said in a pronounced Eastern European accent. Was it a belated Samhain photoshoot? The full stream easy to navigate on large stones and wooden bridge, we continued up between fields of large goats and sheep with curly horns. Two Asian teenagers stood near the top gate, doing selfies and giggling. “We’ll never know why that’s so funny!” observed Phil. We climbed slowly to the corner, rested on a bench and proceeded upwards. Capturing valley views, Phil clambered on a wall and cut his hand on barbed wire. I helped him patch the painful gash with tissue and hand gel which stung mightily. I distracted him from the pain by pointing to the ground “mini apples!” “Oak apples.” “Do oaks have apples as well as acorns?” “No, it’s caused by a parasitic wasp.” “How odd. I’m not sure I’ve seen that before.” At the end of the lane, we curved down into the clough, remarking on how different it looked compared to last month. Carefully watching our footing, we got scared at the sight of two fierce-looking mutts but the family held them as we past. We avoided town to reach home where I helped Phil unload so he could treat his injury before collapsing on the couch. Dinner delicious, the fishmonger’s other customers might have been right that the Shetland mussels were the best ever.
Making breakfast Sunday morning, I noted the bread I bought Friday was almost gone. I’d had 3 slices. Phil atoned by baking some. He also fixed the front door lock which wasn’t always catching and the bedroom door which was sticking. After wasting half an hour getting a fly to go out the bedroom window, I spent the rest of the day watching telly films, writing a haigaii and working on the Christmas card in Photoshop. Looking almost finished, Phil thought it was good. “Yes, but why did I start? All that cutting out!” During a crap night, I had to get up several times before sleeping at all, used the meditation soundtrack, dropped in and out of slumber and woke the next day feeling very ropey indeed.
His approval rating now down to -21%, The Bumbler admitted the Paterson affair could have been handled better. Rees-Moggy was found to have borrowed £2.94 m from Saliston Ltd (his own lettings and real estate company). 67% immunised in Austria, the lowest in Europe, the unvaccinated were subject to curfew, leading to protests. Highest case numbers since the start of the pandemic in Holland led to a partial lockdown and demos in Den Hague. Germany watched closely. Tougher EU sanctions on Belarus entailed travel bans and asset freezes for airlines flying migrants to the Polish border. A Syrian man was found dead in woodland near the village of Wolka Terechowska. Trussed-Up Liz urged Putin to intervene and sent British troops to bolster ‘unprecedented military build-up on the border’. While severe pollution in New Delhi forced schools and government buildings to shut, COP26 concluded 24 hours late. Greta tweeted: ‘here’s a brief summary: blah, blah, blah.’
References:
i. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/
ii. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
The Corvus Diaries 