“This was a staggeringly poor show from a Foreign Secretary who is completely out of his depth. Unprepared for hard questions. Unwilling to admit mistakes. Unable to answer basic questions…Nobody could watch todays’ session and conclude we have a government capable of rising to the challenge” (Lisa Nandy)
Piling In
Very tired Monday morning, I exercised my ankle and fetched tea. After breakfast, I posted blogs and noticed a bare bit on the cutlery caddy. Requiring only a dab, I used the loaded brush to paint a tarnished dimmer switch in the living room. Phil selected a few photos for his café exhibition and made lunch. I worked on the journal, got head fug, watched telly films and tried not to feel miserable. What was to do on a cold, bleak bank holiday if walking wasn’t an option and the pubs were full to bursting?
The TUC called for 4 extra bank holidays to reward hard workers and bring the UK in line with other countries. Entrepreneurs weren’t keen. The mayor of Milan said a fire in a cladded tower block resembled the Grenfell incident. Fortunately, there were no causalities. US military flights in their final hours, Chris Donahue was the last to leave Afghanistan before the evacuation ended just before midnight. The Taliban celebrated with mindless gunfire and rifled through a pile of abandoned hardware. The Americans argued the Black Hawks and other useful kit weren’t lethal. The UN security council passed resolutions on ensuring safe passage for Afghans holding the right documents and ensuring the country didn’t become a base for terrorism. China and Russia abstained from voting.
Tuesday, Phil went to Leeds for more prints for his exhibition. I wrote and tackled a pile of niggly chores involving lots of stair-climbing. In the midst of sorting kitchen rubbish, there was a loud knock at the door. Bad-temperedly climbing the steps for the umpteenth time, I answered to the window cleaner, cheery as ever. I made an effort to smile back and expressed concern that I’d been too busy to shut the windows. He assured me it was fine. In the co-op, there were gaps on shelves, but a pile of cream cakes in the reduced section. I waited impatiently as two women fingered everything so I could grab strawberry tarts. Exhausted, I collapsed on the sofa, rested my ankle and went to lie down. It was so noisy outside I only managed 5 minutes with my eyes shut. Annoyed, I cheered up with coffee and cream tart. In the evening, I finished sewing the jeans patch and watched telly. After missing a train, Phil arrived home knackered and didn’t want any dinner. I made him eat it before the tasty treat.
Covid cases were reportedly higher in parts of the UK previously not badly hit such as South West England and Scotland. As many missed second jabs, the NHS prepared to administer boosters to the over 80’s and vulnerable. Prof Paul Hunter said they weren’t needed for everyone and the disease would be consigned to history within 3 years, when ‘epidemic equilibrium’ was reached (a steady number of cases each day). Before the deadline on 4th September, Geronimo was seized, taken away and put down by DEFRA. The alpaca’s owner complained her pleas for dialogue were ignored due to staff holidays. Taliban leaders reiterated a pledge of amnesty, piled into Kabul airport and promised to re-open it soon. Zabiullah Mujahid said their tech team would check for repairs and elicit help from Qatar or Turkey if required. Foot soldiers draped coffins in US, British and French flags.
Dodgy Intel
September started grey but became brighter. It took a shockingly long time to be ready to face Wednesday. I hoovered the living room, worked on the journal and arranged lunch with Walking Friend the next day. Turning to life admin, I again failed to log onto the BG website and checked holiday cottage details. Unable to see answers to my queries in FAQs, and getting an auto-response to my e-mail (promising to reply within 28 days), I rang. Expecting a long wait, the call was picked up straight away; by the sales team. On redirecting me to customer care, the call dropped. I re-dialled and eventually spoke to a woman who provided contact details for the cottage owner and rang him for me. I booked train tickets. Arriving by post Thursday, I was glad I didn’t pay an extra £6 for guaranteed next-day delivery! Phil installed his art in the café after business hours and returned in time for dinner of roast veg pasta, making use of the mini courgettes we picked Saturday.
Weekly covid deaths of 571 were 4 times higher than the same week in 2020 when some restrictions were in place, but levelling off. Excess deaths from all causes were more than normal for the 7th successive week. Pub chain Wetherspoons’ beer shortage was due to HGV and staffing issues and industrial action according to Tim Brexit Martin. Of course, it wouldn’t be Brexit! Amazon announced new jobs at their London and Manchester offices and tech hubs in Cambridge and Edinburgh. Victoria would stay in lockdown until 70% of the population were vaccinated and a curfew was imposed in New Orleans to stop post-storm looting. The Taliban paraded in victory atop American hardware. Meetings with the former PM and other leaders were a courtesy, not moves towards power-sharing. ‘Senior leader’ Mohamed Abbas said Afghan women could continue working but not in top jobs after telling negotiators they could for the past 2 years, and insisted people possessing the right documents could still leave. But as the banks were shut, they were stuck in Afghanistan with no cash. Sir Simon Gass went to Doha to negotiate safe passage.
MPs on the foreign affairs committee asked a grey-haired Rabid Raab what date he actually went on his hols. He refused to answer 11 times. Meanwhile, the MOD had cancelled all leave and his own staff warned of a quick Taliban advance. He maintained there was no warning and blamed dodgy military intel. Uncle Joe similarly said he trusted the 300,00 strong (sic) Afghan army to hold firm. Nandy spluttered it ‘defied belief’ that Raab turned up “completely unprepared without a shred of humility.” After the grilling, Raab was off to the region but didn’t say where for security reasons. Plans to get people at risk out via third countries included Pakistan, which already had 3 million Afghan refugees. Ben Wally called it ‘Dunkirk by WhatsApp’. Thicky Atkins responsible for the resettlement of 10,000 refugees currently in quarantine hotels, promised them all permanent residence. So far, only a third of councils offered to help, even though £5 million was up for grabs. Newsnight referenced a leaked document backing claims that the fall of Kabul took the government by surprise but suggested a lack of preparation.
Disturbed by loud work on the canal early Thursday, I awoke narky and distracted and didn’t notice Phil’s floral banana creation on the cereal. I apologised profusely. I embarked on a series of small tasks until Walking Friend arrived. She had a painful bruised rib from a recent fall. In contrast to my non-medical approach to injury, she turned to serious analgesics. We viewed Phil’s café expo. “I prefer his other stuff,” she said, which made Phil laugh when I told him later.
At the tearooms, we ordered different versions of brekkie and caught up on news. She was also going on a jolly soon – with her walking companion to his sister’s home in the historic and delightfully-named Blewbury. Noting my hair looked shiny, I said several people had complemented my hair and youthful appearance recently but was sceptical I could pass for 50. It must be the Q10. We split up briefly for errands. I bumped into Councillor Friend and congratulated her son on walking to Westminster to hand in the climate petition, told her about Phil’s exhibition and that I’d named her as a contact for the research project. Concerned I’d left Walking Friend in the lurch, I rushed back to the square where she was occupied talking to someone else. We perused charity shops to find a £1 skirt, a cute art deco milk jug and DVDs. My ankle aching by then, I rested on various structures while she nipped in a couple more places. A couple following phone directions asked: “Are you local?” “Well, I live here.” “No then.” “Over 20 years; not sure that qualifies me.” They laughed and asked where the ‘rock shop’ was. I directed them the quickest way for ‘crystals and whatnot’. My friend joined me on the bridge to marvel at huge mushrooms on the riverbank. As we sat on a nearby bench, the sun suddenly became fierce. She groaned and I asked if it was the heat but her painkillers were wearing off. It was time to go home.
The famous local female plumber appeared on local news again that evening, along with fellow tradeswoman Cathy Cockin (yes, really!) to encourage others to enter the trades. Pain in my foot extended to my Achilles tendon. I performed a few stretches, applied balm and loosely bandaged it with a homemade scarf I rarely used as a face-mask. Initially successful, the discomfort returned and I struggled to sleep, then I was disturbed twice by a car alarm. I grumpily went to the bathroom to be blinded by flashing lights on a neighbour’s car through the landing window. The meditation soundtrack helped me settle until I was again woken early by work on the canal.
In a desperate attempt to attract more tourists, travel rules for Portugal relaxed so unvaccinated people with a negative test didn’t need to quarantine. Meanwhile, Australia banned their own citizens from travelling for at least another 3 months. Still no decision on other oldies or 12-15 year olds, JCVI announced boosters for a ½ million of the clinically vulnerable. A Kings College study found 2 jabs halved the risk of long covid. The Oxford Vaccine team led by Sarah Gilbert were awarded ‘hero of the year’ by GQ magazine. The Salesman promised to ‘move heaven and earth’ rather than shut schools if infection rates rose in the new term. After Rabid Raab’s appearance at the foreign affairs committee, an interview with Ben Wally was published wherein he said military intel wasn’t wrong but limited and he’d warned ‘the game was up’ back in July when Herat fell. Raab spoke from Qatar to insist they’d agreed up until now. Labour criticised them fighting over their jobs while abandoned Afghans fought for their lives. Raab went onto say they had to engage with the Taliban to get people out but not recognise them as a legitimate government. He wanted the international community to exert a ‘moderating influence’. What was he on? On a luxury holiday with girlfriend Gina Colander, The Cock announced he was running the London Marathon, attracting much abuse on his JustGiving page. Storm Ida hit New York.
Roused by the noise disturbance, I felt exhausted Friday morning. To make up for the faux pas yesterday, I praised Phil’s breakfast apple art profusely, then joked maybe I should have said ‘I preferred your earlier stuff.’ It required a big effort to get on with chores and errands. The co-op was busy but well-stocked and Phil caught me up at the till to help pack and carry. After lunch, I ironed a pile of clothes before lying down. Going to get coffee, I realised I’d left my specs upstairs, went back up, then realised I’d forgotten milk and went back to the kitchen. Legs aching, I slumped on the couch and replied to a message from The Researcher, saying I’d try to write a contribution for her blog next month and confirming it was okay to contact Councillor Friend.
ONS stats showed high covid rates across the UK, highest in Northern Ireland at 1:65 ( but down from 1:40) The most ever in Scotland at 1:75 2 weeks after schools went back, experts predicted it ‘highly likely’ England would follow suit by the end of September. JCVI extended the offer of vaccines to 200,000 12-15 year olds with underlying conditions. Anti-vaxxers gave out leaflets about vaccinating children and tried to gain entry to MHRA in Cabot Square before getting the tube to protest in central London where four cops were injured. Job vacancies at a new high, care homes were badly hit. Covid, Brexit, immigration and tax rules were blamed. £1,000 ‘golden handshakes’ from Amazon were criticised for tempting bin men away from essential services.
Stuck in a Loop
Saturday also grey and cool, I stayed in and posted ‘Puns in the Sun’ on Cool Placesi. Phil braved the shop, disposed of recycling and pressed me on birthday ideas. I’d looked on regional websites but awful to navigate, got stuck in a loop. Finally finding a list of heritage events, I discovered they lied saying they started 8th September; there was nowt on until the weekend. I abandoned the search and we came up with a couple of alternative options, depending on weather.
Sunday morning, I was disturbed by a domestic in the flats below. Still tired, I gave up trying to sleep at 9. The laptop inoperable, I had to crash it – Stupid Microsoft! I left it to enjoy the warm sun. Realising my ankle hadn’t hurt for two days, I bravely agreed to tackle The Buttress. At the top, we picked a few blackberries and crossed for another climb up winding stone steps, having to move twice from the same spot as a man then a woman descended. He could have said they were a couple! Side-stepping two more walking groups, I remarked it was like Piccadilly Circus. We continued into the next village, blackberrying en route, admired valley views from the playing fields and proceeded to the churchyard to check out the ruin and famous graves, rather mystified by the offerings of coins, precious stones and trinkets. Resting on a bench beneath a shady yew tree, I elevated my tired ankle on the arm. We went home via woodland, stopping for more blackberrying and fungi-spotting. Never previously spotting fly agaric in these parts, the iconic toadstools prompted a haigaii. Feeling tired, hungry and short-tempered on reaching the front door, Phil continued to the shop while I fetched and carried stuff up and down stairs. He got back just as I’d brought the coffee tray up. “Typical!” I remarked. “Yep. I do it on purpose.” “I knew it!” “Actually, I couldn’t rush because of backache.” “That’s all the bending over picking berries. I couldn’t rush because I’m knackered and my ankle’s throbbing.” He made up by helping with dinner which included foraged berry crumble. Unable to settle that night, I looked out the window to find the sky oddly bright with white clouds but no stars. The meditation soundtrack helped quieten my mind and eventually I got some broken sleep.
Gen sir Nick Carter appeared on The Marr in a normal army shirt. Shown an earlier clip of him saying the government had a good grip on Afghanistan, he ducked arguments that he should have seen the Taliban takeover coming and wittered about factions. Nads Zahawi blathered about the rise in National Insurance to pay for social care. A backlash to the proposal involved MPs on all sides and ex-chancellor Spreadsheet Phil who said young workers would end up paying for oldies. Three kids were taken to hospital in Bradford after eating sweets from stony worm packs. Phil discovered you could buy the American packs, fill them with anything and sell them in shops. What a loopy idea!
References:
i. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/
ii. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
The Corvus Diaries 