“Sorry losers and haters but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault” (Donald Trump)
Lockdown Mark 3
Early 2021, I considered giving up on the journal but with so much going on, felt compelled to continue. After all, ‘it ain’t over ‘til it’s over’…
Woozy Monday due to lack of sleep, I made a big effort to rise. We laughed along with Vernon Kay on Jeremey Vine as Carol Brexit banged on about the same old garbage of the virus only killing ill people. There was controversy over when to take Christmas decor down. Both brought up to do it on the Epiphany when the 3 wise men came, we used to move the figurines into the crib, then pack it up. Others said they should be removed before midnight on 6th January to ward off bad luck. We declared that a load of nonsense, believing in tradition, not superstition. A woman called in to say her parents left them until well after twelfth night last year. They poo-pooed her assertion it was bad luck: “And then look what happened!” That slayed us. “It’s good to have someone to blame!” I later discovered from English Heritage that in Medieval times, people kept them until Candlemas on 2nd February. It made sense brightening the dark January days, but leaving it ‘til Easter was just ludicrous, particularly with cream eggs already on the shelves.
I posted blogs and as the skies looked threatening, we got rid of piles of recycling in case more snow arrived. Very icy near the bins, Phil had a hard time not slipping. The site resembling a midden, he tried to clear the nastiness up but the task proved futile. In the afternoon, I did some yoga then actually slept briefly which was nice. Meanwhile, Phil went to the co-op, returning without salad items: “nowt to do with Brexit.” Big Sis had messaged a few days ago and finally feeling up to calling as promised, we started safely agreeing on the Brexit mess. As she suddenly jumped to the old ‘they have all our info, including our DNA’ conspiracy stuff, I managed to steer the conversation back to common ground.
Brian Pinker was the first UK resident to get the Oxford jab. Prof Powis said it was a ‘turning point’ and echoed my prediction that things would improve by spring/early summer. The variant was now known worldwide as the Kent Virus. Cases rose, with the highest rates in the North West, especially Liverpool and Cumbria. Wales and Scotland were in total lockdown until at least the end of January, and the NI Executive toughened measures. At 8.00 p.m. Boris announced England was at ‘alert level 5’ and entering a third national lockdown. Similar to the first one, it entailed staying at home, only leaving to shop for essentials, for exercise, medical reasons, to escape domestic abuse, or for work if we had to. The clinically vulnerable were told to shield again, social bubbles remained in place, nurseries stayed open but schools and colleges shut. Having claimed they were low risk only the previous day, The Bumbler now said schools were ‘major vectors’ of the virus. He promised eligible kids would get free school meals and the distribution of more devices to support remote learning. Exams were scrapped with alternatives to be arranged. Possibly lasting into March, we were urged to follow the rules immediately before they became law on Wednesday when MPs re-convened to vote. He promised we were in “the last phase of the struggle” and the top 4 priority groups would be vaccinated by the end of February, requiring an unprecedented 2 million jabs a week. A tall order for a government that consistently over-promised and under-delivered!
Failing to mention any additional support for business, Rishi rushed out plans the next morning. £4.6 billion would be available, including grants of £9k for retail, hospitality and leisure and £594m for councils to support local business via a discretionary fund. He ignored suggestions to provide furlough to parents forced to stay at home with school kids and increasing SSP to encourage the infected to self-isolate.
Panic-buying and virtual queues returned immediately and Online grocers’ websites crashed. Thank goodness I placed that Ocado order at the weekend!
Tuesday, I got rid of Christmas cards and greenery. I also tried to clear up the midden but was defeated by mounds of inflexible cardboard and polystyrene – who was responsible? During my siesta, I used earplugs to block out sounds of shouting from outside. Although generally quieter after the start of lockdown mark 3, someone was having a loud socially-distanced conversation, making it impossible to settle.
About to play guitar early evening, Keir came on telly with a formal statement. Previously saying “the figures are very stark” and there was “nothing missing from the package”, he now said serious questions remained on why The Bumbler hadn’t acted sooner, why the testing system still wasn’t working, why there was so little time to plan for school closures, and why the delay in offering business support? He promised Labour would support the new lockdown: “… whatever our quarrels.. we need to come together… the virus is out of control… at this darkest of moments we need a new national effort…” but vowed to: “(challenge) the government where they are getting it wrong… (they must) use the lockdown to establish a massive vaccination programme… we need a new contract… the country stays at home, the government delivers the vaccine… “ I wasn’t keen on his idea of ‘round the clock’ vaccinations; no way would I be able to get to a jab centre at silly o’clock in the morning! And what about the staff? On Newsnight, Lockdown Sceptic Toby Young conceded he was wrong to say a second wave wasn’t on the way. But still stuck to his sociopathic herd immunity beliefs, citing the stupid Barrington declaration and Prof Guppy Fish. What a wanker!
Loser Trump planned to fly to Scotland and play golf on 19th January, thus avoiding Biden’s inauguration on the 20th. Sturgeon warned he was not allowed as golf wasn’t essential. Phil said: “she can’t stop him. He’ll still be a sovereign entity.” Or would he?…
Anarchy in the USA
Cold, frosty but sunny Wednesday, a walk would have been good but it took most of the day to deal with Christmas trees. Phil carried the larger one out all by himself. “ Smashed it!” we laughed. The hoovering made my back ache so I switched to sedentary activities. Annoyed at being charged loads for utilities, I searched the British Gas website for a lower tariff to discover I couldn’t get one unless I had an electric car! Phil popped to the shop just before dusk, alarmed that the pavements were already refrozen.
On a QT special, simpleton Nads Zahawi, minister for the vaccination programme (god help us!) said they needed the community and independent sectors to work with the NHS on vaccine delivery. Pharmacists so far excluded, meetings were promised next week. As they’d announced 7 new regional hubs, I asked why none were in Yorkshire; even more of an issue as only elderly people within 45 minutes’ drive would be invited. What a daft strategy!
MPs went to parliament for a day. The Salesman told them teacher assessments would be used in place of exams or terrible algorithms. With BTEC exams due next week, they weren’t included. In a meeting with revolting tories before the vote on Lockdown #3, Boris seemed surprised it would be law until the end of March (just before Easter) and promised a review every 2 weeks. “He hasn’t read it!” exclaimed Phil. As 1.3k Met officers were off sick or isolating, other forces sought permission to break down doors and arrest people. European news actually reported by the BBC for once, there were issues of goods entering NI and the Moderna vaccine was approved by the EU; not applicable on Brexit island of course.
Over In the states, 1 in 5 citizens of Los Angeles were infected, someone died every 15 minutes and ambulances were disgustingly instructed to not pick up people with little chance of recovery.
Following Loser Trump’s attempts to find extra votes and get Pence to illegally declare ballots invalid, the Georgia re-run confirmed a Democrat majority. He told his supporters to go to the Capitol Building, which they obediently did, using violence to gain entry, seize inauguration stands, and defile the interior. 4 acolytes died, one of gunshot the others of heart attacks. Amid questions about security, in stark contrast to the response to BLM protests in the summer, a cop became the fifth fatality due to injuries sustained.
The next day, Biden was finally confirmed as the next president. Still intending to miss the inauguration, The Loser tweeted: ‘Even though I totally disagree with the outcome of the election, and the facts bear me out, nevertheless there will be an orderly transition on January 20.’ Democrats called for him to be removed from office on the grounds of mental incapacity and incitement to insurrection. Having ended the lives of more death row prisoners than any other president in history, it was a shame the maximum penalty was 10 years if convicted. Clearly saying words written for him, he later decried the Capitol besiegers. Some halfwit commented on a picture posted on twitter labelled ‘Via Getty’, that the subject should be arrested. Which grandson would that be?
Here We Are Again!
Wintry conditions persisted for the rest of the week. Thursday, we were distracted by watching people moving out of the house below. “I wonder who our next sim pets will be?” Ha, ha! Togged up, I stole myself for a chilly trip to the market. Actually 2 degrees above freezing, and no ice on the pavements, I felt overdressed. In a quiet town centre, only 4 cars occupied the carpark, allowing me to spot what resembled a pixie door in the side wall of the tearooms, previously unnoticed. The stall outside the pub in the square, rammed with people imbibing mulled wine the previous week, now looked forsaken. The fish van hadn’t made the weekly trip but the toiletries stall was well-stocked which was a relief amidst reports of bog roll shortages. While serving me, the jolly veg man precariously placed his lit fag on the edge of the stall, next to a pack of lighters. “Watch that!” I implored. “Don’t worry, I’m an expert at burning stuff down.” “That’s reassuring.” I remembered to repay him for a faux pas long ago, when I inadvertently took an extra bunch of spring onions. “I’ve been losing sleep over that 50p,” he joked. That evening, we watched The Limehouse Golem on telly. The first time I’d seen it sober; I was struck by its creepiness. Dan Leno’s catchphrase: ‘here we are again!’ seemed particularly poignant right now.
The Cock Cocked-up at a GP surgery to laud delivery of the Oxford vaccine which didn’t turn up. Jon Ashworth said it was like the ‘Thick of It’. The weekly clap apparently returned, as ‘clap for heroes’. “Who are they then?” Asked Phil. “Anyone you like.” No applause was heard in these parts.
Friday, I re-worked my submission plan in line with the reduced 4 issues of Valley Life magazine planned for 2021, reflecting it would be easier selecting one extract per season. The trip to the co-op definitely required the bear coat. Despite alleged shortages and stockpiling, I fulfilled the list. In the afternoon, I wrote up small walks from the previous week to post on ‘Cool Places’i
The R rate rose to 1-1.4. Nationally, there were 1,325 deaths from coronavirus, the worst daily total ever. A major incident was declared in London where 1 in 30 were infected compared to 1 in 50 nationally. The Excel Nightingale hospital would re-open for non-Covid patients. It was reported that 1.5m older people had received a jab so far while the Moderna vaccination was approved. The government ordered an extra 17m doses but it wouldn’t be available until spring, no doubt because the EU got in first. Hauliers going to France were advised to get tested before crossing into Kent. Grant Shatts said negative tests would be required within 72 hours of in-bound travel to the UK. The plan put back until 18th January because the guidance hadn’t been published, Yvette Cooper called it “truly shocking.” Plod idiocy returned with the old park bench conundrum. The over-zealous Derbyshire force were up to their old tricks, fining 2 women who’d driven 5 miles to have a walk. An appeal was unsurprisingly successful. Here we are again!
Saturday, a weak sun obscured by fog, soon disappeared altogether. Horrid dressing in the arctic conditions, I asked Phil to do my long-overdue haircut dry. He said it would be different but I thought it was pretty good. The rest of the day, I worked on blogs and created an arty alphabet made up of letters from signs photographed on the recent canal walk. It started to shape up well but q, x, and z were missing. With cases still rising and hospitals at breaking point, top medics pleaded for tougher restrictions and Boris was more worried than ever. Apart from the daft government ads, it wasn’t clear what else he would do. Reduce the ridiculously long list of keyworkers? Stop their kids attending classes? Close schools altogether? Shut nurseries? Reduce permitted exercise to once a week? As Twitter shut Trump’s account, Phil asked: “has anyone copied it? There were some classics.” “What, like covfefe?” He later found an hilarious example (see top).
On a dingy, drizzly Sunday, I braved the mix of mist and fine rain which Phil called ‘fizzle’, to go and find the missing letters for my arty alphabet.
Walking down our street, I found 2 out of 3, plus most numbers. I ventured slightly further and succeeded in getting a complete set.
When you looked, they were everywhere: on lampposts, telegraph poles, walls, parking meters, and of course signs.
Coming back, I found a DVD in the freebie box then ran the last stretch. Good to get some fresh air and exercise, I reflected on the restrictions saying we could go outdoors once a day for exercise but not for recreation. Did that mean we could walk/run/cycle, as long as we didn’t enjoy it? I had several responses ready if challenged: “it’s for me mental health, innit?; I is an essential photographer; I am journaling the pandemic and contributing to a research project”. Alphabet complete, I manipulated letters in Photoshop for future use and wrote a haiku.ii
Over the weekend, Leeds got trounced by Crawley Town in the FA cup 3rd round. To be fair, they looked like they weren’t even trying, suggesting they’d rather concentrate on staying in the top flight. Pundits advised the suspension of all matches. “Yeah, but they don’t mind getting paid to chat shit about the footie they think shouldn’t be played!”
References:
i. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/
ii. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
The Corvus Diaries 