Part 50 – Eggs-tra Terrestrial

“It is outrageous, frankly.  This is the sort of behaviour – giving contracts to you pub landlord and your best mates – that you would expect in a banana republic” (David Lammy)

Is it a Nebula?

Pancake Nebula

Unfortunately, the omens proved accurate.  After a wobbly start Monday, I admitted defeat and returned to bed with the characteristic sinus symptoms.  I wrote and posted blogs while Phil catered.  Due to copious amounts of herbs, the soup he made for dinner was a lot tastier than my creations.  “You’re too cautious” he observed astutely.

Vaccine invites were sent to the over 65’s and UKHospitality nicked Dodd’s idea.  A letter to Rishi Rich urged extending the 5% VAT and business rate holiday into the next financial year.  60 CRG members signed a letter demanding the PM ended lockdown by April.  Boris responded he would stick to the plan for a ‘cautious but irreversible’ easing, providing target dates with a caveat that plans would be delayed if necessary.  Stephen Reicher of SPI-B* warned “people begin to be hopeless and helpless” if given dates weren’t met and advised providing information on positive action.  While a third of social care staff still hadn’t had a shot, an Israeli study found infections dropped 94% with the Pfizer vaccine.  The Cock wanted hard data, not just trial stats, that they reduced the spread by almost 2 thirds.  The government considered a jab passport, muted to be for travel, not going to the pub or shops.  Sage bod Rob Dingwall spluttered: “the idea you have to have a passport to go round Tesco is just ludicrous.”

Mike Tildesley said there was no evidence “to suggest that school attendance is a significant driver of outbreaks in the community,” but needed careful monitoring when pupils returned.  Explaining further on Newsnight alongside fellow eggheads Prof Christina Pagel (UCL) and Wonky Doctor, he added: “March should be about children” and the effect on the R number assessed before shops opened.  He also suggested foreign holidays were a no-no in 2021 but domestic ones may be possible ‘with caution’. He agreed with Wonky Doctor’s call to scale up immunisations in urban areas and use mobile vans to increase uptake in deprived communities.  She acknowledged local leaders had a part to play but the government needed to support them, not merely delegate responsibility.  Pagel said infections had to be suppressed to prevent new variants rising, and there was no such thing as ‘an acceptable death rate’ this year.  She wanted a measles approach (the disease eliminated and outbreaks dealt with when they arose), rather than an influenza approach and interestingly observed the lack of a flu season anywhere in the world during the past year. Was a Covid-free future  possible?  The local Covid support group seemed to think so.  They’d launched a petition calling for ‘zero Covid’.

On Shrove Tuesday, the first red letter day since new year, I felt slightly better on waking, performed a few stretches, opened the curtains then had a wobble and collapsed on the bed.  Charles Bonnet syndrome featured on BBC Breakfast.  “Is that what you’ve got?” I asked Phil, referring to his sight issue.  “I wouldn’t admit it if I did.”  Affecting a camp pose worthy of Count Arthur, he shrieked: “Ooh! I’m Charles Bonnet!”  Work on the journal took most of the day.  During afternoon quiet time, the onset of rain signalled a drop in temperature.  I lay under the covers waiting for the heating to come on before getting coffee and bonus cream cake Phil found in the co-op’s reduced section.  Making traditional pancakes for dinner, they created swirly patterns as they cooked.  One resembled a nebula.  I posted a picture on Facebook prompting the comment it was eggs-tra terrestrial.  Why didn’t I think of that!

Another Planet

Haiga – Harvesting

Covid cases down 15% in the past week, 1:5 now had antibodies meaning 8m people were resistant to the virus.  David Speigelhalter of Cambridge University called it: “extraordinary…with the vaccine starting to kick in, we’re really seeing a very rapid fall.”  Clive Dix of The Vaccine Task Force said all adults would probably get both jabs by the end of summer.  AZ trials on 6-17 year olds began, in Oxford, London, Bristol and Southampton.  Similar experiments took place using Pfizer and Moderna in the US.  The government told an extra 1.7m English citizens to shield.  “Who?” I asked.  “It’s obviously crowd control,” responded Phil.  Wondering if it was a ruse to contain overweight men, Prof Hayward came on Newsnight to tell us the ‘Q Covid’ algorithm was “very sophisticated”.  “I’m sure it is,” Phil muttered cynically.  A day after traveller quarantine started, PHE found 38 cases of a new ‘variant under investigation’ (B.1.525; possibly Nigerian).  More surge tests began in Norfolk, Southampton, Surrey and Manchester.  Border force were allegedly given advice a mere 7 hours before implementation of the new rules.  It’s a disgrace!” The PCS cried.

The government belatedly published information on their website about a possible extra £1,200 charge for people in Q hotels who tested positive.  4 arrivals at Birmingham airport were fined £10k each for lying about their country of origin but not imprisoned.

The IFS advised furlough end gradually and changes to Universal Credit stay put, but VAT, income tax and National Insurance may have to rise to pay for the pandemic.  In Myanmar, Suu Kyi was newly charged under article 25 of the country’s Natural Disaster Management Law.  Used to prosecute breaches of Covid laws, the politics of the country seemed as remote as those of another planet.

Still bedridden Wednesday, work on the journal proved interminable.  I switched to online shopping, at last finding an Ocado delivery slot.  Not due until a week Friday, at least I got to use a wine voucher, which I’d almost forgotten about and had to retrieve from the e-mail bin.

During quiet time, I was unable to relax then my phone rang.  The local Covid support group asked if I wanted a volunteer to come round with soup and a sandwich.  Not in need of such a kind offer, I politely declined.  I also wondered how it worked, given physical space issues.  Adding their number to contacts, I tried to link 3 for Elder Sis, ringing her by accident.  There was no answer.  She called back later but the connection dropped out.  Switching to WhatsApp, we compared notes on coping with lockdown and not yet being invited for inoculation.

Phil joked he was going to the Covid Arms.  “There must be one round here. People are stupid enough.”  The only one I heard of was in a makeshift garage in Dudley, not far from a nightclub in Birmingham.  Local news reported house parties in Scarborough.  We agreed they were all a bit of a trek.

In a Human Challenge Trial, 90 healthy young adults, aged 19-30, would be injected with a tiny amount of the original virus strain at The Royal Free Hospital.  Dix said: “we expect these studies to offer unique insights into how the virus works and…which promising vaccines offer the best chance of preventing the infection.”  The EU set to approve Janssens’ version, ex-Brexit co-ordinator Guy Verhofstadt wrote in the EU Observer: “Europe is the world leader in vaccine production (over 75%)…nevertheless there is a crucial lack of supply…contracts are extremely unbalanced…”  He went on to lambast the use of article 16 as: “a diplomatic disaster…(which) destroyed in a few seconds the seriousness of the negotiations with the UK, conducted by Michel Barnier for more than 3 years.”  He advocated a separate European agency, as I suggested weeks ago.  The latest Handforth Paris Council meeting got 3,000 viewers on YouTube.  Jackie Weaver absent, hecklers were chucked off.  Mount Etna erupted, covering villages in rocks and ash.  Snow covered 3 quarters of America.  A polar bear rolled about in the white stuff and frozen turtles had to be warmed up in Texas, where the state governor was lambasted for going to sunny Florida on his jollies.  On her last day as Child Commissioner, Anne Longfield demanded a ‘Covid Covenant’ with children at the heart.

Feeling no better on a blustery Thursday, I finally finished work on the journal and wrote Polar Trek for Cool Placesi.  Phil went out, to the shop not the Covid Arms, seeing no coffee-cuppers at all.

Surge testing was planned in Harehills and other areas of Leeds where the SA variant had emerged.  An Imperial College React study found infections were down to 1:200 (but higher in younger people), suggesting lockdown was working.  Prof. Paul Elliot but disagreed with Prof. Pagel: “through contact tracing you can really keep control of the virus but it’s unlikely we’re going to get a situation like in New Zealand where it’s essentially Covid-free.”  Facebook went to war on Australia, blocking news and Coronavirus info sites, in a spat over paying for content – who did they think they were?

NASA’s Perseverance rover landed on the red planet to investigate evidence of extra-terrestrial life.  It endearingly tweeted “I’m safe on Mars’.  Kier gave a major speech to an empty space, talking of a ‘moral crusade’ to address inequalities and injustices.  Comparing current times to the post-war period, he referred to a ‘mood in the air’ and said “(Britain’s) collective sacrifice must lead to a better future.”  The only concrete idea reported was recovery bonds to give people ‘a stake in the future’.  Tory Chair Milling called it a bunch of second-hand ideas and ‘empty rhetoric’.  On QT, debate centred on the plague.  Liberal Layla Moran borrowed the phrase ‘no hokey-cokey’ from a questioner and referred to the Brazilian or Manaus variant or P1, re-infecting people.  Prof. of Public Health Linda Bauld, said suppression was achievable leading to less risk of future mutants.  Mark Harper of CRG insisted the economy open up on 8th March after the top priority groups had their first jab and Peter Borg-Neal of Oakman Inns claimed the rate went down in summer when pubs were operating.  “No, it didn’t you liar!” I shouted at the telly, “we were under local restrictions for most of it! what planet are you on?”

Alien Invasion

Milling About

Friday, I switched from writing to Photoshop, executing another idea for a collage while Phil fetched and carried.  I managed the evening downstairs to eat pizza, drink some wine and watch films.

The ONS said the R rate was now 0.9 and infections were at 1:115, less than the React study.  The Supreme Court ruled that Uber drivers should class as employees.  With huge implications for the gig economy, union lawyers called for clarity between the bona-fide self-employed and ‘contractors’.  Government borrowing hit £8.8bn in January 2020, leading to a total state debt of an astronomical £2,114.6bn.

I succeeded in a few hours out of bed on Saturday, but after expunging dust from the bedroom, stayed there to work on Photoshop.  Going back down for lunch, I stayed up to cook and eat dinner.  Thanks to a few gins, I enjoyed quite a good sleep to awake on Sunday feeling refreshed.

Rhubarb from the mysterious triangle featured on Sunday Brunch.  We decided to try and source some at the farmer’s market.   Crossing the old bridge, we found the riverside and square infested by non-locals, evidenced by a jam-packed carpark.  Coffee-drinking and pizza-eating abounded.  Weaving carefully to the knobbly veg stall, we made a few purchases but alas, no rhubarb.  Stunned by the milling about, we retreated to a back wall.  Several police and other officials patrolled but appeared ineffectual.  “What are they meant to do?“ Phil asked.  “Stop people on the road before they get into town!” I retorted.  I ill-advisedly followed him on a whizz round the rest of market.  Fraught, we crossed to the cash machine and chatted to an old pal who worked at the convenience store about the Covid madness until her lift arrived.  Going back the shortest route, we watched Canada Geese unusually swimming upstream in the river rather than paddling in the still waters of the canal and climbed up the inn’s fire escape for views of rooftops and a rising moon.  Nearer home, we noted the emergence of spring flowers and the first honeybee of the year, but suspected the snowdrop it harvested was an alien species.  I’d already spotted tree buds across the valley and crocuses in our window box, but hadn’t seen the veritable field invading next door’s garden.  Exhausted and stressed from all the dodging, I collapsed on the sofa.  At least I got out of the house.  I only hoped we weren’t infected by the horde of Covidiots!  Recovering with coffee, I edited photos and wrote a haigaii.

17.5m (a third of the adult population) had received at least 1 jab.  While the Metro predicted we’d be inoculated by mid-March, the government now said it would be mid-April for the over 55’s.  Easyjet announced virtual lessons for 7-10 year olds as part of the Amy Johnson initiative.  The Good Law Project had started a case against The Scumbag’s mates Public Front, awarded focus group contracts.  The ex-aide predictably denied cronyism.  The Cock subsequently appeared on Marr to gainsay a High Court ruling that there was a lack of transparency when giving contracts to tory chums and lied about the wonderful job they did of supplying the NHS with PPE at the start of the pandemic.  “People can make up their own minds.”  Err, we have, you knobhead! You must think we have goldfish brains!  David Lammy decried giving contracts to mates and the local pub landlord as resembling a banana republic.  The Cock admitted to uncertainty over the effectiveness of vaccines against the SA variant.  One case found in Brentwood, Essex, surge testing started.  As Israeli bars opened, ‘green passes’ had to be shown to gain entry.  A few clues on the exit road map for England emerged , but that would have to wait…

*SPI-B – Scientific Influenza Group on Behaviours

References:

i. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/

ii. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

Part 42 – The Nightmare Before Christmas

“Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for” (Jasper Palmer, Children of Men)

Dashing Through The Drizzle

Haiga -Limbo i

Aptly dark for the shortest day, misty drizzle virtually obscured the outside world on the winter solstice.  We had no chance of seeing the conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter.  My insomnia paled into insignificance as Phil suffered a painful flare-up of his slipped disc problem.  I spent the day cleaning, shopping and baking Christmas cake.  Phil helped with spekulatius biscuits. Made using a BBC recipe, they looked and tasted good but not quite like the childhood treats I remembered.  Predicting a nightmare 2021, Elder Sis joked in a message about looking forward to a diet of potato and leek soup.  I replied we were thinking up new and exciting ways to stuff a turnip! Going to the co-op, I found the main road rammed with traffic and gaps on shelves.  Nevertheless, I still filled my basket and struggled home damp and weary.  I decorated ‘Hull tree’ for the small room.  Phil’s heirloom, purchased in Woolworths in the 1960’s, could win a contest for oldest Christmas tree still in use, but it never gets installed early enough to hit the headlines.

We relaxed watching telly until The Bumbler appeared for a stupid briefing, following a Cobra meeting.  40 countries had now banned flights from the UK, the Eurotunnel shut and Dover was a giant carpark. Instead of addressing the most pressing matters of the new coronavirus variant now present in most of the UK, he boasted that half a million people had received the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine, delivery of which was still on track as container transport was unaffected by the blockade.  While the EU called for a Europe-wide protocol, Boris phoned Mini Mackerel on his birthday to try and resolve issues of freight handled or driven by humans and said it would be sorted within a few hours; it wasn’t.  Meanwhile, Shatts lauded the post-Brexit port preparation, saying the crisis proved it worked.  “So that’s the prep is it?  Massive truck parks?”  I asked.  “Yes but at least you don’t have to shit on the bus.”  Remarked Phil.

On a bright, cold Tuesday, it was late morning by the time I ventured downstairs.  After working on the journal, I set off for last-minute gift shopping.  Although the roads were busy again and some shops were packed, others were deserted or shut which seemed odd.  The assistant in the hippy shop was surprisingly unaware of the viral-repelling properties of copper.  Unable to find a copper ring in Phil’s size, I chose one made from an old shilling.  The antiques shop staff helpfully directed me to the relevant section for photography paraphernalia.  Finding a couple of items to fill the camera case, I declared job done.  On my return, I wrapped gifts for my walking friend and sorted cards for neighbours before a brief rest.  I made stir-fry for dinner using what I thought might be the last broccoli we’d see for a while.  “I won’t miss it,” declared Phil.  “Hmm, you say that now!”

Due to the rapid spread of the mutant virus, Indy Sage said the whole nation should be in tier 4.  World media called the UK ‘plague island’ as 700 lorries were now stuck in Kent.  There was finally a breakthrough with France late evening.  Transit would be allowed if drivers tested negative.  The NHS and army were mobilised to carry out rapid flow testing from 6.00 a.m. Wednesday.  Anticipated to be days before the backlog was cleared, chaos still reigned with truckers stuck in queues.  Many didn’t get home for Christmas.  What a nightmare!  Production stopped at Toyota due to supply issues and big supermarkets limited the amount of certain items customers could buy – the usual suspects of bog roll, pasta and rice featured high on the list.  Guy Verhofstadt tweeted: ‘now you know what Brexit will be like’.  Quite!

Wednesday, I forced myself up despite mediocre sleep and an achy shoulder.  Presented with stodgy mounds of porridge, I was rather ungracious but later apologised.  I texted my walking friend for her to collect her gifts.  She was on her way to work and arrangements were left open-ended.  Scouring the co-op for fresh cream and bread, I found none and returned home to try and work on the journal, but interrupted and distracted, I declared it too much and gave it up for a couple of days.  I retreated to the kitchen to make pastry and decorate the cake.  Phil went to Leeds so I took the opportunity to wrap his pressies.  I’d just finished when he got back.  “You weren’t  kidding about not being long!”  He said he’d ran all over the dead city.  Reading the evening metro, I noted it was the last issue until 4th Jan – what would I do without my morning fix?  Phil helped make pies and rolls while I simultaneously cooked dinner.  It all took ages and we wondered if something was wrong with the gas.

In the latest briefing, Cock announced another new strain of coronavirus identified in South Africa.  Here, more areas of South East England would move up to tier 4 from Boxing Day.  Levels were raised elsewhere leaving nowhere in tier 2 and only the Silly Isles in Tier 1.

That night, the common theme of a house with many rooms, populated by friends and relatives, alive and deceased, dominated my dreams. While not unpleasant, it invoked the pre-Christmas nightmare of attending a brother’s funeral on 23rd December 6 years ago.

An Almost-White Christmas

Free At Last

Christmas Eve started frosty but sunny.  Pink clouds indicated snow was possible.  Braving the cold, I posted cards through neighbours’ doors.  The elderly lady popped her head out, not looking at all well.  We chatted briefly and I hoped she’d be better soon.  I cut sprigs of greenery from the garden and created attractive displays including a rather fetching ivy arrangement for the living room door.  Phil collected the duck and also succeeded in sourcing fresh bread.  He then wrapped my gifts while I did a whizz-round clean and sent Christmas messages.

Following frenzied speculation, a Brexit deal was announced late afternoon.  Ursula said it was a: “good deal… fair, balanced.”  Boris bragged it was: “everything we promised.”  What a liar!  Heavily weighted in favour of the EU, they were meeting Christmas Day to agree in principle.  MPs would return to parliament for one day the following week to vote.  Keir said Labour would back it.  Disinclined to read the massive document, I gleaned a few details.  Services were excluded (to much criticism) but there would be tariff-free trade albeit with extra checks and paperwork.  The Kermit would actually be a thing! * Any changes for example to employment law, would go to an independent panel.  The EHIC card would be valid until expiry and then be replaced by a similar healthcare scheme.  Later in the week, I found a good summary from the FTii.  As the talks came down to specific fish, my plans to call the next blog entry ‘so long and thanks for all the fish…’ were scuppered.  On the plus side, my Brexit Island page got a record 132 engagements.  I posted a cartoon from the NY Times, ‘free at last’, to celebrate

In the evening, we watched films including a double bill of our favourite festive movies – The Nightmare Before Christmas and the extremely prophetic Children of Men.  It even mentioned ‘the great flu pandemic’.  Due to an awful year and the impending Brexit, the harrowing scenes affected me more than usual.  Although very tired, I struggled to sleep that night.

Christmas Day also began frosty and bright.  Becoming cloudy later, there was even some soggy snow but it didn’t stick – not quite a white Christmas.  I rose late, realised I had forgotten to message a good friend and posted a card to her wall.   I then saw a post that her partner had broken his arm and had to go to hospital on Christmas Eve.  It turned out they were thoughtfully on the way to deliver cards to us, amongst others.  We enjoyed all our usual Christmas traditions, including a posh brekkie, exchanging gifts, a late roast dinner, prosecco, Irish coffee and trifle. Thankfully, the antique camera I bought online wasn’t broken.  In fact, Phil was so chuffed he spent ages polishing the thing.  I’d trust my gut instincts more in future.  He got me a shiny new phone so I no longer had to fear imminent death of the old one – hurray!

The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Ivy Arrangement

After overnight drizzle, Boxing Day was a grey affair.  Storm Bella caused flooding further south and although it reached us later, we luckily escaped a repeat of the great Boxing Day flood of 2015.  A bit hungover, I revived with tea and a bath.  Disinclined to go out in the cold, I planned to set up my new phone.  However, I ended up working on the journal all day.

Phil bravely made a short foray to the shop and reported streets deserted. Implementation of the revised tiers meant no shopping in London but local news showed a busy Leeds with the sales in full swing.  A sharp contrast to the pre-Christmas scenes, the turnaround was obviously due to people going bargain-hunting..

Sunday, I felt as crap as the weather.  Following Christmas flooding and winds of 106 mph recorded in the south, a yellow snow warning was issued for Wales and NW England.  Resigned to another day indoors, I finalised blogs and set up the new phone.  File transfer with google seemed easy enough but it failed to import my contacts.  Lots of fiddling and swearing at Android ensued, until Phil worked it out using MS launcher.  Predictably, visuals weren’t as I wanted them but I got used it over the next few days.  On the plus side, it had a large screen and 3 cameras!

As cases of coronavirus still soared, so did pressure on hospitals.  In the USA, 14 million risked losing unemployment benefit when The Trump peevishly refused to sign the ‘support package’ bill.  Biden talked of ‘devastating consequences unless a ‘veto override’ succeeded.  So it wasn’t only the truckers stuck in the UK that suffered a Christmas nightmare!

*Note – Kermit – nickname for the permit required to enter Kent. I’d already commented on the irony of needing a passport to enter the Brexiteer county from the rest of the UK!

References:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

ii. Brexit summary: https://www.ft.com/content/bd71fda3-0a34-4b52-ae98-4769848cb628