“If it’s good enough for London, it’s good enough for us” (Tracy Brabin)
Rude Blokes
After the rude awakening in the early hours, I dropped back into deep sleep when Phil woke me Monday morning saying it was late. Exhausted after a crap night, I considered a curt retort but thought better of it. Barely able to move my neck, a few painful exercises eased it slightly. I’d only just finished my cuppa when Phil announced he was taking the tray away. “Don’t rush me!” “Sorry, I’m trying to be helpful.” “I know, but I feel harassed.” The usual round of Monday chores and blog posting ensued. Unable to add photos to the journal, turning the laptop off and on again fixed the issue but the process remained slow. The co-op quiet that afternoon, an ignoramus threw his shopping on the conveyer before I’d moved forward at the checkout. “Do you mind?” I asked pointedly, to which I got a blank look in response. How rude! Changeable all day with some thunder, for once I’d managed to run the errand in a sunny spell. I lingered at the doorstep to chat to the rarely seen next-door neighbour. She’d recently married and invited us to a post-covid party in July. I got rid of a pile of recycling before the heavens opened again. In the evening I set about repairing a new rip in my favourite jeans but the patch of old denim I found was too light. My neck still painful and stiff, some yoga stretches and a massage at bedtime aided sleep.
Consistent falls in cases, hospitalisations and deaths saw the Covid-19 alert level downgraded to 3 for the first time since mid-September. The Bumbler announced the next stage of the roadmap would go ahead as expected on 17th May, allowing indoor hospitality, entertainment and activities, including soft play centres and hotels. Students would return to uni and secondary pupils didn’t have to wear masks. Calls to use ‘common sense’ and ‘caution’ were back, as was the rule of 6 for private houses and overnight stays (or 2 households). Officially allowed to hug, there was no mention of face-licking.
Keir told the first meeting of the re-shuffled cabinet he wasn’t shifting blame. The parliamentary commissioner for standards set to investigate Boris’ trip to Mustique 16 months ago, ‘facilitated’ by Carphone Warehouse tycoon David Ross, newly-promoted Angela Rayner said: “The public have a right to know who paid for (his) luxury Caribbean holiday and the renovation of his flat. Most importantly, we need to know what these donors were promised or expected in return for their generosity…(he) needs to stop using the office of PM as an opportunity to fund his lavish lifestyle and enrich his mates.” New mayor Tracy Brabin spoke on Look North of not taking anything for granted and working hard for ‘the people I grew up with’. On a ‘tap in, tap out’ system for public transport, she stated: “If it’s good enough for London, it’s good enough for us.” Quite!
Northern Soaks
Tuesday morning, I woke at 8 and got revenge on Phil by rousing him from sleep. Neck improved, my right shoulder had gone stiff. Exercise and bathing helped somewhat. Following a spot of cleaning and writing, I set off for the main square to meet The Researcher. As she approached, I recognised her immediately from her profile photo. It was so lovely to meet in person after a year of on-line correspondence! Commenting on the busyness of the place in spite of the grey midweek conditions, we shared anecdotes on the trials of shopping, washing money and quarantining purses. “I still do that,” I confessed, “no-one has yet told me it doesn’t make any difference.” “Shall we get out of here?”
Talking and walking to the nearby clough, we discussed love of place, our backgrounds and assorted issues. Wanting to give her a flavour of my frequent visits, we climbed over the small wall to look at ‘the swamp’, flooded after copious rainfall. Heading for the ‘islands’, a tribe of kids clutching fishing nets and accompanied by a few adults, descended to infest them. Rather ragamuffin to be on a school outing, and the grown-ups rather ‘yummy mummy’ I deduced they were from the nearby free school. Giving them a wide berth, we continued up the top path and turned left onto cobbles. It started raining and a matter of minutes before heavy showers caught us so we agreed to return to the shelter of trees. Loud thunder cracks tore through the clouds as sizeable hailstones assailed us. Hastily making our way back down the clough, we noted the ragamuffins had scarpered. Back in town, we bade farewell and pledged to meet again. I hurried home to get warm with a change of clothes and a cuppa. Editing photos, the laptop played up again so I turned it off and went for a lie down. Phil had gone to Leeds for the first time this year. Just as I was about to make dinner, another downpour descended and he returned predictably tired and soaking wet. Letting him recover, I didn’t begrudge the lack of help cooking or clearing a sinkful of dishes, but became slightly irked when he came down to stand around in the middle of the kitchen. That night, I lay listening to yet more thunderstorms until eventually falling asleep.
Pomp scaled back, the Queen’s speech boasted of plans for ‘unleashing our nation’s full potential’. Promised legislation included a pile of stuff nobody cared about like voter ID, or wanted, such as scrapping the fixed-term parliament, the police bill and the HS2 line from Crewe to Manchester, while the Health and Social Care Bill to integrate NHS and social care, was delayed again, even though Boris said he had a plan ready on the day he became PM 2 years ago. Martin Green of Care England asked: ‘How long can the care system limp on like this?’ The CBI lauded the speech as good for jobs and connectivity but Keir said it was full of ‘short-term gimmicks’, ‘distant promises’ and papered ‘over the cracks’.
The commons treasury committee released details of 45 messages from Camoron to ministers and officials concerning Greensill. As allegations relating to its collapse were ‘potentially criminal in nature’, the FCA were also investigating the company. Media descended on Batley to discuss ‘levelling up’. Focussing on the upcoming by-election, they failed to mention the vacancy was due to the current Labour MP becoming mayor. Golden-haired boy Jordan Banks was struck by lightning playing football in Blackpool. His organs were donated to 3 other children after his death.
Attempting to post for my nieces’ birthday Wednesday morning, she’d disappeared from social media. I messaged Elder Sis to send on best wishes. She reported back that the family were fine and my nephew was back in Wuhan, having a more ‘normal life’ than they were in London! Walking Friend called round as arranged. She commented on the plethora of bluebells in the gardens (of blue and white), which made me appreciate them anew.
We gravitated into the square. “What are we doing?” “Looking for somewhere to eat.” “Not here.” We settled on the Turkish café. Starting fine but rain likely, we sat under an awning for different versions of breakfast and a catch-up. She said there’d been no hail on the moors yesterday, unlike the valley. When the showers came they thankfully weren’t as heavy as Tuesday. Browsing the charity shops, I found nothing I wanted but curated films for her to play on her new DVD player and showed her how to check the condition. “Like records” “Yes. You can wash them like vinyl too. But don’t dunk them in the sink!” We sheltered in a doorway for a smoke, said cheerio and went our separate ways. Phil had cleaned the kitchen floor and hung washing up while I was out which was nice, especially since I’d felt overwhelmed by day-to-day chores after a week in bed and 2 days out. At bed-time, pouring rain and the generator competed to be loudest. Using earplugs and the meditation tape, I dropped in and out of slumber.
A month ahead of schedule, we were asked to make appointments for second vaccine doses, while 38-39 year olds were invited for a first. Amid warnings of circulating mutants, scientists called a new strain of the Indian variant ‘very concerning’. A surge of B.1.617.2 led to the highest number country-wide in Erewash, Derbyshire, followed by Bolton where targeted testing and a vaccination bus were introduced. A WHO report commissioned from the Independent Panel for Pandemic Preparedness and Response said a quicker international reaction to the Wuhan outbreak would’ve prevented a global catastrophe, it took too long for a public health emergency to be declared, and February 2020 was a ‘lost month’ when many more countries could have acted to prevent the spread. The Bumbler announced a covid commemoration commission with a memorial at St. Paul’s cathedral and an independent public inquiry into the government’s handling of the crisis, spring 2022. Keir asked why it couldn’t happen sooner and Jo Goodman said it was far too late: “It sounds like common sense when the PM says that an inquiry can wait until the pandemic is over, but lives are at stake with health experts and scientists warning of a third wave later this year.” Private Eye reported on a CCJ issued to Boris for an unpaid debt of £535. Dated during the time of the flat refurb it created much speculation but turned out to be a claim for defamation by conspiracy-theorist nutter Yvonne Hobbs South Yorkshire police investigated reports of 9 female cops posting images of face-licking at a party on Snapchat with the caption ‘Covid Who?’
Fighting between Israel and Palestine intensified. Police blocking access to the Al-Aqsa mosque on the eve of Eid and a Jerusalem Day march on Monday were seen as ‘provocation’. Rockets fired from Gaza were answered by airstrikes from Israel. A tower block hit, the Gaza death toll disproportionately rose to 48 including 14 children and sporadic violence broke out between Israeli and Palestinian citizens. UN special envoy Tor Wennesland warned: “we’re escalating towards a full-scale war.”
Yorkshire Jokes
Waking early again Thursday, I enjoyed coming round at a leisurely pace. Phil accused me of wasting the hours gained but I didn’t care. Sunny and warm, I opened the window to shake rugs out when cleaning the bedroom and heard a helicopter heading west. Was it going to Bolton? I wrote up Sunday’s walk for Cool Placesii and we had fun taking the ‘are you posh?’ quiz featured on Jeremy Vine. Answer: not very. We thought ‘laughing loudly’ referred to a horsey snort rather than a raucous northern bark. Becoming cold and wet again, we derided the Yorkshire weather: “it’s shit!”
Phil went to clean the bathroom but got distracted by a shoelace going up the vacuum. Meanwhile, I sat on the sofa relaxing to the ambient sounds of the humming hoover from the first floor, the ticking clock, and traffic splashing through the rain. I then played guitar. A bit rusty after a lengthy hiatus, I eventually recalled the scales I knew and 7 songs without looking up chords.
PHE data showed cases of the Indian variant tripled in a week. Spreading faster than the Kent version, especially in the under 25’s, rates increased in London, Sefton, Bedford and Blackburn, but the media spotlight was still on Bolton. Prof. James Naismith of Oxford University predicted it would ‘get everywhere’, local restrictions wouldn’t contain it and advocated a country-wide approach. An urgent sage meeting led to speculation on delaying the next stage of the waymark due 21st June. Uncleverly said: “sage will make their assessments…report (to government), and we will make decisions based on the data and the evidence…” Boris ruled nothing out. Camoron was grilled on Greensill by the commons treasury committee. He insisted he’d had a ‘really good idea’ and there was ‘absolutely no wrongdoing’ but accepted ex-PMs should ‘think differently and act differently’ and conceded a single e-mail would be better than a barrage of messages, which Angela Eagle described as ‘more like stalking than lobbying’. Refusing to say how much he earned, he admitted to a ‘large economic interest’, holding shares and flying to Cornwall in a private jet. However, he called claims he could gain £60m ‘completely absurd’. Portugal supposedly welcomed Brits but we could currently only go to Madeira. Of others on the green list, the nation of Iceland and the dependencies of Gibraltar and the Faroe Islands, were the only ones not requiring quarantine. London City Airport said business trips would come back as they were essential while the French threatened to scupper the EU financial services agreement over the Jersey fish dispute. In spite of Egyptian attempts at mediation, violence between Israel and Palestine escalated.
On QT, Paul Mason said we were ‘ruled by crooks’. Tory Rob Bucket retorted that was untrue and insulting. Lisa Nandy admitted they needed to work to win back votes and persuade people Labour were for them and Brexiteer Michelle Dewberry called it daft to stick a remainer candidate up in Hartlepool. I’d already said this was the biggest issue in the by-election, but surely it was about time we got past this?
Turned Out Shite Again
Friday morning, we both felt a bit off; me with a scratchy throat and achy shoulders, Phil with aches everywhere. Probably down to the grey, damp weather it was also far too cold for the time of year. Hugging to console each other, our hair got in the way. Haircuts were definitely required. After some life admin and writing, I set off for the co-op. Rather busy with gaps on the shelves, I didn’t get too stressed as I grabbed the essentials.
Now located in 15 areas, Bolton gained top spot with B.1.617.2 on the rise. Burnman appeared on BBC breakfast to plead for inoculation of all over 16’s in affected Manchester boroughs and help for people to self-isolate (still an issue after a year). Evening news revealed cases tripled nationally in a week to 1,313 and 17 deaths were recorded. Transmissibility possibly higher than the Kent virus and growing at a faster rate, PHE responded to reports of reinfections as ‘to be expected’. Arguments arose on whether measures should include immunisation of entire multi-generational households or local restrictions (even though they didn’t work last time). Prof Paul Hunter of UEA said: “if the Indian variant…continues to increase at the same rate as it has…we’re going to have a huge number of cases by June,” but as it affected younger people, might not put extra pressure on the NHS. Nads Zahawi urged people to get tested, isolate if it proved positive and said lockdown easing wouldn’t have to be paused if everyone did their bit: “by taking the 2 tests a week, doing your PCR test in those areas, and isolate, isolate, isolate…the 4 tests have to be met.”
But then, The Bumbler briefed us that the surge could threaten the roadmap and: “pose a serious disruption to our progress and could make it much more difficult to move to step 4 in June.” The announcement that the gap between doses was being shortened for the over 50’s from 12 to 8 weeks, explained why we’d been called up a month ahead of schedule.
Portugal now said we could go on holiday from Monday, even though restrictions in the country were extended to 30th May. Foreign travel to be permitted from Scotland on 24th May and travel from NI within the CTA*, but not from Wales, Mark Drakeford said he couldn’t stop people going abroad via England, but would prefer they didn’t.
Saturday grey and drizzly, we declared it too shite for walking. That didn’t stop people coffee-cupping and pubbing, as Phil discovered when he nipped to town. I took recycling to the bins and found the outdoor air quite pleasant apart from the damp. I draft-posted the journal and rooted out old denims in search of a darker patch for my favourite jeans. My old Wranglers now fit Phil while another pair had a massive rip near the crotch. Chopping the legs off, I joked: “I’ve made you a delightful pair of cut-offs!” Phil donned them on top of the jeans he was wearing to parade around the living room. When I finally stopped laughing, I fashioned a section of leg into a patch and stitched in front of the telly (avoiding the FA cup final, complete with a crowd) while Phil cut his hair. Raining all night, the weather remained changeable on Sunday. It was my turn for a hair do. Decanting dyeing accoutrements, the disposable gloves stank of germolene. Were they PPE rejects?
On the Marr, Yvette Coop said Tracy Brabin was ace and labour would do everything they could to keep hold of Batley & Spen. The Cock wittered about controlling variants and cited evidence of vaccine effectiveness, based on a sole clinical trial by Oxford University. When quizzed on travel quarantine not working, he didn’t even know who the ISU was! Things got grimmer north of the border when Glasgow Rangers fans celebrated victory by marching from the Ibrox Stadium to the city centre. Mayhem, violence and anti-Catholic chants resulted in 5 cop injuries and 28 arrests. Sturgeon tweeted she was ‘utterly disgusted.’
*CTA – Common Travel Area – UK, ROI, Channel isles, IOM
References:
i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
ii. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/
The Corvus Diaries 