“Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. I’m begging of you please don’t hesitate. Vaccine, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine. Because once you’re dead then it’s a bit too late” (Dolly Parton)
A Game of Percentages
My sleep was disturbed Monday morning by a racket emanating from waste ground near the canal. The workmen barely discernible beneath cold, grey fog, it seemed the recent spring-like feel was a blip. Phil made porridge. It subsequently took half an hour to wash up. Recovering with coffee, I posted blogs and worked on the next chapter of the journal. Unable to rest in the afternoon, I considered if random birthday gifts stashed under the bed were adequate. Inadequate exercise and repose prompted me to do some late yoga, as recommended by the latest research suggesting light to moderate activity an hour before bedtime. It definitely helped with relaxation and kip.
Hospital admissions for Covid among the over 80’s fell by 80%. The PA news agency reported falling infection rates across the 4 UK nations although by less in England. Boris insisted we had “one of the toughest border regimes anywhere in the world.” Keir disagreed: “(we hadn’t) secured our borders in the way we should have…it demonstrates the slowness of the government to close off even the major routes…(and) unwillingness to confront the fact that the virus doesn’t travel by direct flights.” Yvette Coop added: “These cases…arrived a month after the Brazil variant was first identified and we were raising with the government the need for stronger action.” Large queues at Heathrow made me wonder: ‘if it’s like this with travel restrictions, what will it be like in May when holidays are allowed?’ While the EU discussed a ‘digital green passport’, the DoT wanted a common approach. The Restaurant Group were ‘burning through’ £5.5m per month but ‘strong trading’ for take-away deliveries hiked share prices. Northern-based restaurant chain Tomahawk Steakhouse asked workers to loan them 10% of their furlough monies. Was that even legal? GMB regional sec Neil Derrick said: “It’s never been easier or cheaper for businesses to borrow money…but (they) want it for free and they have solved their cash flow problem by giving a cash flow problem to their staff.” A week later, Tomahawk gave the dosh back. Derrick maintained that wouldn’t have happened without attention being brought to the matter.
In the first public sighting since her house arrest, Ang San Suu Kyi appeared in a Myanmar court via video link to have 2 more trumped up charges added to those already levied. Meanwhile, a meteor was seen whizzing over Barnsley and landed somewhere in Gloucestershire.
Although more rested on Tuesday, I suffered achiness and a sore throat. Ignoring it, I submitted my article to Valley Life Magazineii and worked on the journal before going to the co-op. A sizeable shop proved rather stressful with screeching kids and dithering hikers impeding the aisles. One hit me with his bag as he reached into an adjacent cold cabinet – accidentally on purpose? I took a deep breath and contained my annoyance. Cowbag staffed the only open till but we exchanged pleasantries rather than bickering. Back home, I hid perishable treats and instructed Phil not to nosy around in the kitchen. He’d cleaned the cooker and floor while I was out which was nice, especially as he’d had an awful day work-wise and had to reset the internet. Powerless to help, I made sympathetic noises. The Marcella double-bill finale annoyingly split by ITV news, meant forgoing pre-bed yoga and I awoke several times during an odd night.
UK deaths from the virus halved every day and decreased by 25% in the past week- the lowest since January. As the P1 variant mystery search was narrowed to 379 households in South East England, studies revealed 25%- 61% of Manaus residents were susceptible to re-infection. Sharon Peacock, Cog-UK, said it was now found in 25 countries but couldn’t speculate on how it would ‘pan out’ and focus was still on the prevalent Kent Virus. PHE real-world data on the effectiveness of the AZ and Pfizer vaccines showed they provided 60% protection in the over 70’s with 80% less hospitalisations in the over 80’s. Andrew Pollard of Ox Vax proclaimed it ‘stunning’ and a wake-up call for Europe: “it shows how critical it is to improve public confidence across the continent about the vaccines.”
Rishi Rich reportedly worked 24/7, spoke to the queen and made his own promotional video in the budget run-up. Previews included a public sector debt of £2.1 trillion and an extension of furlough to 30th September (but with larger employer contributions). The CBI said it would “keep millions more in work and let businesses catch their breath as we carefully exit lockdown.” Shadow Treasury Sec Bridget Phillipson countered: “announcing this the night before shows the focus on Rishi Sunak getting his moment in the sun rather than protecting jobs and livelihoods.” Jon Ashworth tweeted ‘The ego has landed’.
Weighing Things Up
Wednesday morning, I adapted an Australian chocolate fruit cake recipe for Phil’s birthday. With all the measuring and weighing it took a full hour to get it in the oven. While it was baking, we watched events in parliament. On the anniversary of the government publishing a 27-page document insisting the UK was ‘well prepared’ for the pandemic, only to announce lockdown 3 weeks later, Keir started PMQs by asking why the UK sold arms to Saudi and slashed aid to Yemen by half. In a tory backlash, Jeremy C**t called it ”incredibly disappointing,” and Andrew Mitchell said it was “a strategic mistake with deadly consequences.” UN Sec Gen Guterres declared the cut a “death sentence” for hungry children amidst possibly the worst humanitarian crisis ever.
The budget presentation ensued. Rishi dished it out with an additional £65bn for Covid measures, £150m for a community fund (to help locals buy their local), extension of furlough as expected and characteristically complicated help for the self-employed. The UC uplift would stay for 6 months and the living wage increase to £8.91. Apprenticeship employer incentives rose to £3,000 and new re-start grants for businesses came in April. The business rate holiday would end in June, then be discounted by 60% to the end of the fiscal year. Similarly, the 5% VAT rate would stay until September and then be 12.5% for the next 6 months. Stamp duty changes were extended and big lenders confirmed they’d offer loans under the mortgage guarantee scheme.
Commitment to green growth included a ‘green bond’ and investment in offshore wind. Regional growth plans involved more funding for devolved administrations, an infrastructure bank in Leeds, a northern ‘economic campus’ (i.e., Treasury office), and port infrastructure in Teesside and Humberside. 8 freeports with favourable tax and duty rates would be created: East Midlands airport, Felixstowe & Harwich, The Humber (Goole), Liverpool, Plymouth Solent, Thames, and Teesside (Redcar).
Good to see money spent on the north for once, there was a definite ‘blue wall’ bias. Leeds was dismissed as the location of the Treasury office in favour of Darlington (near to Rishi’s Richmond patch), freeports weren’t evenly spread and of the £1bn new ‘town deal’ areas, 40 out of 45 had tory MPs. Only 3 of the constituencies covered voted remain in the Brexit referendum.
Other schemes to boost productivity and growth included a retail savings bond, management training, visa reforms to attract scientific and tech migrants, and free digital training and new software discounts for SMEs. The ambition to be a ‘scientific super-power’ was ‘not hubristic, but realistic’, he claimed, as demonstrated by the success of vaccine roll-out. Was the extra £1.6 bn to continue this and to ‘improve future preparedness’ part of the £65bn? What was the rest for?
Counting The Cost
Reeling off the biggest borrowing figures since WW2, the chancellor warned they’d continue to be high before falling, and Interest rates may not stay low. Thus he planned to achieve ‘sustainable public finances’ and not borrow to pay for everyday spending but invest in capital projects. Anticipated tax rises took the form of a freeze on personal tax thresholds in 2022 and a hike in corporation tax to 25% in 2023. There would be a smaller profits rate of 19% for SMEs, tapers above £50,000 and a business tax ‘super-deduction’ for re-investment, to boost jobs and economic recovery.
He didn’t mention a card swipe limit rise to £100, and while there was no tax hike on fuel, beer or baccy, air passenger duty for long-haul flights would increase. More significantly, he failed to draw attention to a lack of extra money for schools or a cut in NHS and social care funding. Responding that it wasn’t a budget for ordinary people, Labour cited an ‘astonishing’ £30.1bn cut in day-to day DOHSC spending ‘buried in the small print’. Keir said it papered “over the cracks” rather than rebuilding the economy and Rishi totally ignored public sector workers while indulging in social media gimmicks at tax-payers’ expense. Disregarding a waiting list backlog, Ministers countered they’d put tons of money in during the pandemic. Boris justified a derisory 1% pay increase for NHS staff by saying most carers worked in the private sector and were covered by the increase in the living wage – splutter!
Head spinning with arithmetic, I got stuck into cleaning. In spite of mental and physical exhaustion, I had a terrible night. Unable to settle, I wanted to try a BBC Headroom soundtrack but required to sign in, I had no chance of remembering the password at 1.40 a.m. I used the meditation soundtrack, and fell in and out of broken sleep. Phil also struggled and dreamt he went in a rocket. Thankfully, it wasn’t the evil Musk’s Space X Starship 10 which hilariously blew up on landing later in the week!
In other news, Sturgeon told Scots she’d consider accelerating exit from lockdown, but criteria for moving down the levels would tighten from late April. Builder Taylor Wimpey pledged £125m to replace dangerous cladding and conduct fire safety work on properties constructed within the last 20 years, including blocks under 59ft tall excluded from the government fund
Achy again on Thursday, I performed morning exercise before turning to writing. Attempting to solve the ‘blue sandstone’ mystery from the last walk, I researched geological maps but they all cost money – bloody geologists! I set off to spend a small fortune on Phil’s favourite meaty treats from the butchers, and a bit less on a last-minute gift from the chemist. He was upstairs on my return so I could hide purchases unseen. Deciding it was enough presents, I wrapped them before attempting a siesta, to be disturbed by a noisy generator on the waste-ground leaving me tired and stressed. Phil said: “You don’t have to do all that stuff for my birthday.” “I know, but I feel I should, to make up for not going anywhere.” He tittered.
An ONS survey suggested 48% of over 80’s who’d had a jab broke lockdown rules by meeting someone outside of their family or bubble. The MHRA were given permission to fast-track vaccine approval to deal with mutants. As France, Belgium, Italy and Germany approved AZ for the over 65’s, a German doctor offered Phil a spare via social media. “Beware of drugs dished out on Facebook!” Biden said there was enough vaccine for all American adults to be injected by May, and Dolly Parton sang to the tune of Jolene while having hers (see above).
On QT, business minister Kwasi Kwarteng more or less said ‘ never mind the mistakes, we have the vaccines’ and justified the dearth of public sector pay rises by saying the private sector was badly hit by the pandemic. It would have been even worse if the carers and key workers hadn’t stepped up, you wanker! Entrepreneur Theo Paphitis called Tit ‘appalling’ and Labour’s Lisa Nandy exclaimed “not learnt the lessons” a lot.
Friday, I went a bit mad decorating the cake. The cooking chocolate failed to melt properly. I turned it into lumpy frosting and hid the mess with a melange of crystallized ginger, nut flakes, chocolate bits and candles. I checked the proof from Valley Life, wrote ‘turning seasons’ for Cool Places and got the co-op’s freezer deal for a birthday eve carb-fest. Printing the card later, I’d completely forgotten about the cute animal collage I made weeks ago. Railing against the cost of ink, I was irked the colours didn’t reproduce well in print. We spent the evening watching the highly anticipated Deutschland ’89 and films, drinking Mateus and toasting Phil’s birthday.
The P1 mystery person was found in Croydon, thankfully in quarantine. Nads Doris did a round of interviews to defend the 1% NHS pay rise, insisting it was all they could afford. Unions up in arms, the GMB called it “dismissive and insulting,” Unison were balloting members on industrial action, and the RCN set up a £35m strike fund. Cyprus and Portugal planned to welcome UK vaccinated vacationers by 1st May, but we weren’t allowed to go until at least the 17th. 40 days after Nasty Patel announced it, fliers were mandated to complete a ‘declaration of travel’. From Monday, a costly £2,000 fine would ensue for failure to produce the document.
Paying The Price
On the big day, I assembled Phil’s birthday gifts and treats and cooked a fat meaty brunch before the unwrapping. He seemed to like the random selection! His sister rang him for a chat. As a teacher in Hull, she had worked throughout in a school never less than 50% full even in total lockdown. An indication of the demography of the workforce, unsurprisingly leading to a much higher infection rate than the UK average.
Turning back to pleasant distractions, we decided on a walk. With few options open to us without breaking the law, it was either that or coffee-cupping. Luckily, appearance of the sun coincided with the mid-afternoon outing to his favourite wood. Crossing at the traffic lights, we gave a cheery wave to a mate walking her dog, navigated the busy park, and went along the Sustrans path. Low river waters revealed detritus and mysterious posts sticking out of sandy banks. On a green bridge, pixie cups sprouted on mossy walls. Near the farm, robins hopped between garden shrubs. A man gardening commented on the number of small birds thereabouts. A lovely grassy lane took us down to the old quarry, where a couple of boys rode mountain bikes. I prodded an old bottle filled with green growth. Thinking it could have art potential, I safely used a spare carrier to place it in my rucksack. We rested at a small waterfall and enjoyed the calm rumble of water underfoot until a cloud of midges emerged! Continuing through the unpeopled wood, we were serenaded by flocks of finches and yet more robins on the final stretch onto roadway. Taking steps down to the canal, the lock bridge was crowded, requiring some dodging. (for a fuller description of the walk, see Cool Placesiii).
The barmy-looking cake was scrummy. While out, I received several comments on the photo I’d posted on Facebook. Referring to the candles, one friend said ‘I see Phil is 6’ ‘Err, 7 actually!’ Barely hungry, we forced ourselves to order an Indian take-away for dinner. The deliverer rang to say he couldn’t find the house. I stood on the doorstep and waved at a figure prowling the street. He’d been looking for a number that didn’t exist. On approach, he wore a mask on his chin. Why bother if you took if off your face when you got to the customer’s house? Not having dealt with a plague era take-away before, I considered the logistics. I lay all the containers out on the kitchen table, removed the lids then washed my hands for serving, later cleansing the table and containers to put leftovers in the fridge. Apart from cold bhajis, it tasted great but I wondered if it was worth the money now I could cook a decent curry myself. Phil said it was, for the variety. He had seconds but I could hardly move after 1 plateful! We drank cava and watched a DVD movie double-bill. My Way mad because it’s true, Doomsday because it isn’t. The Neil Marshall offering from 2008 wrongly predicted how people would act in the midst of a pandemic, lockdown and Brexit but his fictional plague was far more interesting than the real one!
On a cold, grey Sunday, we stayed in. Feeling whacked, I apologised for being boring but tried to stay upbeat. Writing and telly-watching was punctuated by eating yummy leftovers. Despite severe fatigue, I struggled to sleep, doubtless due to the weekend’s excesses. Night-time brightness didn’t help. I peeked through the curtains at shiny white clouds, then used the meditation soundtrack to fall into a fractious sleep.
Vaccinations reached 22k. As part of the over 55 age group, we’d be next. Susan Hopkins, PHE said the UK was in for a ‘hard winter’ with surges in flu and ‘other respiratory pathogens’ because lack of a recent flu season reduced immunity. But wouldn’t that slow the spread and reduce the risk of mutations, as they argued for Covid? NHS workers claimed a higher pay offer was already ‘baked in’, held demos and threatened court action. Boris still insisted 1% was all the government could afford (but it could change when the offer was considered by the NHS Pay Review Body). As Europe warned of legal action, Lord Frost wrote in The Torygraph to tell them to stop sulking over the UK’s unilateral decision to extend the ‘grace period’ until October. Using the EU rule put in place 30th January*, France and Italy churlishly blocked AZ exports to Australia. A record 2.9m Americans were inoculated on Saturday making a total of 90m. The Pope spent the weekend in Iraq and held a poignant Sunday mass among the ruins of Mosul.
* Vaccine export transparency mechanism; subsequently extended to the end of June 2021.
References:
i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
ii. Valley Life Magazine: http://valleylifemagazine.co.uk/
iii. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/
The Corvus Diaries 