“The point is that 60,000 people at the match sends a message to 60m, which is, ‘well, if they can meet together, why can’t we? If they’re rammed together and leaping up and down and hugging each other when a goal is scored, why shouldn’t we?” (Stephen Reicher)
As befitted the summer solstice, Monday was cold, grey and drizzly. The live-feed from Stonehenge was pulled as hundreds ignored advice not to go. I slept late until I heard Phil in the bathroom, did a few exercises and developed a strange muscle spasm in my back. When it eased off, we hugged and joked about his scratchy flowing locks. After chores and blog-posting, I darted round a strangely quiet co-op. Even though Phil had cleared kitchen surfaces, it took a while to sort groceries. Knackered, I collapsed on the sofa when there was a knock at the door. A man tried to flog us cavity insulation. I informed him we didn’t have cavities to fill. Phil cut his hair into a severe buzzcut. “You should have done that yesterday, tattooed runes on your forehead and danced on a hill at sunrise. That would scare people!”
Posing like a knob in a white coat at a vaccination centre, The Bumbler said 19th July looked good for ‘Freedom Day’ thanks to vaccines. Covboost results expected by the end of August, plans for autumn boosters would come soon. Many questions arose: what age groups? were children included? which brands? could they be combined with flu jabs? Chris Hopson expressed ‘increasing optimism’ that inoculation had broken the chain between infection and hospitalisation. But queries over future variants remained. Not happy with a travel ban from Scotland to the North West without consultation, The Burnman whinged the whole world would hear Manchester and Salford weren’t safe and demanded compo. Sturgeon retorted she wasn’t interested in a spat and he could just pick up the phone. A meeting of social care leaders with Boris, The Cock and Rishi Rich reportedly postponed, they called for publication of proposed reforms before the summer recess, immediate cash ‘to avoid serious risks to support’ and further investment to be hastened.
Backache replaced by tummy ache Tuesday, it was an effort to get off the bed. I wrote off a planned extended outing and got depressed at missing a bright day. I worked on the journal and cleaned the kitchen. As I tackled the sink overflow, Phil came to disparage my methods. “When you do most of the cleaning, then you can criticise!” I yelled. “Tell me what needs doing and I’ll do it.” Not wanting to escalate the argument, I kept schtum. Phil had suggested a short walk but no improvement in my mood or fatigue, I dismissed the idea of going anywhere. “You’re enervated,” he observed. “Is that right? It’s one of them words that sounds the opposite of its meaning.” A min-update from the researcher revealed she’d indulged in ‘ethnographic noticing’ during 2 weeks off. “Staring out the window?” Phil chortled, “I do that a lot!”
We rushed dinner to watch the footie. Rahim Sterling scored the only legal goal. England beat the Czechs and finished top of the group. Meanwhile, Scotland lost to Croatia 3-1 and were going home. England would face Germany, France or Portugal from ‘the group of death’ in the first knock-out stage at Wembley a week hence. Trying to work out third place permutations defeated me. Some clever coffee-cupper likely responsible, it would be much simpler with 8 groups rather than 6. Phil suggested I tell UEFA. “Yeah, cos everyone’s a football manager! They’re probably inundated with that crap all the time.”
The almost-full moon rose above the treeline. We nipped out to take photos as the hippy with the dog (who now came to sniff us instead of barking) came by. A young neighbour gripping a brace of beer bottles slurred: “I can never take decent pictures of the moon on my phone.” I deduced he was smashed from celebrating the footie win. As Phil went back inside, atmospheric clouds lent a moody aspect to my final shots.
PCR tests in Yorkshire were extended to Sowerby Bridge, parts of Halifax and Leeds. Wakefield was added later. Authorities in Calderdale said they were almost top of the county league table as they tested more than other areas. The Cock promised pilots to scrap 10-day quarantine for the double-jabbed who’d been in contact with infected persons and for travellers from amber list countries (using daily testing instead) as soon as ‘reasonable to do so’. Not yet ‘clinically advised’, he couldn’t give a date. The Scumbag held a Q&A for paying subscribers on Substack. He said Boris saw ‘focus’ as a menace to his own freedom and we’d all head for bunkers in the hills if we knew how bad it was. So why didn’t he stay in the one on his in-laws’ Barnard Castle estate last year? Ahead of the Euro 2020 games, a member of the Scottish squad tested positive for covid and missed the match. His teammates weren’t required to isolate but 2 English players did because they chinwagged with him in the tunnel. Arguments ensued as to why football wasn’t defined as a ‘close contact’ sport. What about the sweaty dressing rooms? In Scotland, a move down to the lowest tier was delayed to at least 19th July with possible lifting of restrictions by 9th August, if vaccination milestones and other criteria were met. Lord Frost accused the EU of a lack of ‘pragmatism’ to make the Northern Ireland protocol work. DUP in-fighting led to leader Edwin Poots being forced out after 21 days, to be replaced by the only candidate, Jeffrey Donaldson.
Smashing It
Somewhat better but still fatigued Wednesday, I spent ages expunging dust in the living room. Preparing to go out in the Somewhat better but still fatigued Wednesday, I spent ages expunging dust in the living room. Preparing to go out in the afternoon also took ages and we were only going to town! Phil stood fiddling with his phone in the middle of the street. Waving ‘bye!’ I walked on and greeted an elderly neighbour. From the opposite riverbank, we heard the familiar sounds of busking. “What’s on the acoustic stage today?” quipped Phil. The hipster guitarist who’d disturbed our Saturday night, played to a small group by the water. Was it an exclusive backstage gig for groupies? After-school kids prowled the streets. Getting essentials in the convenience store, we danced to the radio. An Agatha Christie look-a-like ignoring the one-way system came and straight at us. Phil said she was a ghost. “How come we both saw her?” “Magic conjured by wandering teenagers!” Heading home via the main road, a heron landed under the bridge. Taking pictures, my phone did some weird multi-shot thing unbidden. God knew what of! In Oxfam, we danced some more and found socks for Phil. About to buy a DVD, I checked the condition to discover it scratched to nothing and fit only for smashing to bits.
New daily cases reached 16,135, the most since 6th Feb. 82.5% of adults had a jab; 60% 2 doses. BBC Breakfast reported school absences due to covid trebled in a week and were the highest since schools resumed in March. Van Dam was chased by anti-vaxxer Geza Tarjanyi and a Taliban missile hit an Afghan hospital destroying crucial vaccine stocks. Rainbows lit up buildings in Munich for the last games in the ‘group of death’ and spectators cheered a man running onto the pitch brandishing a rainbow flag. Germany beat Hungary thus England would face their bitter rivals in the first knock-out round – of course! Although 60% of UK adults were immunised as opposed to only 30% of Europeans, Merkel said all Brits entering any EU country should quarantine (at least until Germans got their towels on sun loungers!) Would they be welcomed in London next week without having to do so?
Different rules in Holland saw a 5-day quarantine for Italy and Welsh fans turned away from Amsterdam airport. Ministers thrashed out a deal with UEFA to allow 60,000 spectators at Wembley. Cue more complaints of ‘mixed messaging’ and unfairness. While parents couldn’t even go to school sports day, culture minister John Whittingdale said it was legitimate under ERP and the ‘right time’ to test bigger events. Steve Reicher railed that 60,000 people crowded together at the match sent a message to 60m; if they can do it, why can’t we? Talks continued on VIPs not quarantining. Tui joined Virgin Atlantic, BA, Ryanair and Manchester Airport Group in legal action against travel restrictions and went to Westminster on a day of action to pressurise the government to reopen travel and provide targeted financial support. They were told they could access furlough and would have to wait for changes to travel rules. Grant Shats was hopeful the world could open up when they caught up on vaccines. According to my calculations, that was the end of 2022. So be it…
John Bercow defected to labour. Denying it was to be a lord, The Torygraph reported he lobbied Jeremy Corbyn for a peJohn Bercow defected to labour. Denying it was to be a lord, The Torygraph reported he lobbied Jeremy Corbyn for a peerage. Exactly 5 years after the Brexit referendum, Doncastrians (of whom 69% voted leave, the highest in the UK), couldn’t remember what day it was according to a Look North Vox pop. Following speculation that HS3 could be scrapped, tory toff woman on Daily Politics mouthed platitudes on Northern Powerhouse rail, triple-lock pensions and their recent by-election fail. Boris opened PMQs listing reasons why Brexit was great and thanking the armed forces. Local MP Craig Whittaker asked about ‘levelling up’ to get a curt reply that Calderdale Council needed to listen. Ian Blackford renewed calls for a public inquiry on how the tories dealt with the pandemic, claiming they used emergency covid contracts to commission political research from their mates on the future of the union and sanctioned corrupt campaigning, instead of to acquire PPE.
Awoken by loud doings from the canal works Thursday, I rose grumpily. I put on a summer dress for the first time this year to cheer myself up. On Jeremy Vine, snowflake and so-called commentator Dominque Samuels repeated her cretinous view that she should be allowed to go out and mix while those that didn’t like it stayed home and said she thought differently to other people. Maybe, but obviously not very deeply if the thing she’d choose to protest against was supermarket sarnies! As I tried to work on a frustratingly slow laptop, a different noise assailed my ears. I looked out the window to see the latest antics of DIY Don’t Guy on the street below. In recent months, his exploits included taking floorboards up and washing them with soap and water and using a massive axe to chop firewood. The stupidest yet, he and a mate smashed up a flimsy plywood desk with said axe. Mission complete, they cheered and whooped ‘smashed it!’ like they’d achieved an amazing feat and he raised the axe above his head. “I’d laugh if it fell on him.” “Yes, as you called the ambulance!” Phil added.
Walking Friend arrived mid-afternoon to pick up books and DVDs I thought she’d like. One a Disney cartoon, she good-naturedly told me to ‘eff off!’ but kept it. I made her coffee and we stayed outside to exchange news and views on health issues and the plague. Initially saying she was sick of people being careful, she later conceded rising infection rates indicated it wasn’t yet over. Phil joined us to discuss druids, standing stones and the right to roam. He took photos of clouds as a goldfinch chick hopped across the street to stop just behind his heel. Scared he’d step on it, I exclaimed: “Look behind you!” Obviously something wrong with the tiny thing, we dithered over what to do, rang a local vegan animal sanctuary, got no answer and consulted the elderly neighbour who advised against touching it as our scent would mean the brood wouldn’t accept it. His wife melodramatically exclaimed: “everything’s dying today!” I fetched gloves and a box to fashion a makeshift nest, when Phil got through to the animal lovers who arrived a few minutes later.
Bare-handedly picking the chick up, they said the smell thing was rubbish. It would be homed with birds of a similar age until fit to fly. Insisting we name it, I came up with the highly original Goldie. I assured the upset neighbour “It’s not going to die. The nice animal people took it.” Decorating Neighbour who’d just parked up quipped: “For a pie.” “Don’t be daft! They’re vegans!” (see below for photo).
Exhausted after another missed siesta, I faffed over Walking Friend’s coffee paraphernalia and made us a pot. In the evening, we failed to see the Strawberry Supermoon in a cloudy sky. At least we got some pictures earlier in the week. QT and Brexitcast mostly boring, Katya Adler revealed the German phrase for banger wars. ‘Wursthall Stillstand’ actually meant sausage standstill; sausage wars literally translated to Wurstkreig. All sorts churning round my head that night, the meditation soundtrack was of limited help.
Senior ministers signalled all legal restrictions would end 19th July, Useless George looked forward to ditching his mask, but experts advised continuing measures to manage virus levels. Downing Street said they were still studying the data before a final decision. ALW joined others in the entertainment industry in legal action to make the government to share ERP findings. Rejecting a last-minute offer to include Cinderella as a test event, he accused Boris of ‘cherry-picking’ high profile sports. As if to prove his point, it was announced that Silverstone would host a capacity crowd for F1 on 17th July. Mind you, outside sport was a different prospect than indoor theatre. He also wanted government-backed insurance, new rules on quarantine and clearer guidance for future operations. In limited changes to traffic lights, Malta, The Balearics, Madeira, Barbados, Bermuda and Grenada went green. Tour operators predictably wailed it wasn’t enough and holiday bookings surged even though the lights could change again at short notice. Unite called Lloyds bank closing 44 branches ‘baffling’.
Grab a Snog
Waking early Friday morning, I was too hungry to sleep more and also felt slightly ill. We laughed at people swimming in East London docks. Orange markers made them resemble bobbing buoys. Phil cleaned the bathroom while I made a start on decluttering the small room. I arrived at the co-op to realise I’d forgotten the list, rang Phil to read it to me then waited for him to help carry the shopping. Both starving and cranky by now, we ate a hasty lunch. I’d wanted to see how Goldie was getting on with the lovely vegans but was too tired to visit. Packaging still strewn around the kitchen floor late afternoon, I bit down my anger, cleared it up and relaxed with coffee. Courtesy of the £5 freezer deal, dinner was a pizza feast. I was about to ask for help switching stuff round in the oven when Phil scarpered. Struggling by myself, I shouted in frustration. He returned testily to the kitchen for me to berate him on a lack of help and cried: “You asked the other day to tell you what needs doing. You shouldn’t have to ask. You’re in the house as much as me!“ He shouted back “don’t shout!” and said he had to do “this thing called work.” “I know but not all the time!” Feeling awful after the row, I should’ve known on Tuesday it was only a matter of time before my frustrations boiled over. We calmed down with wine and films.
Days after hitting a grim 500,000 deaths, Brazil recorded 115,228 cases in a day. UK infections were up 46% in a week, 95% due to the Delta variant. Fast spread of the mutant led to a sudden third wave in Euro 2020 host city St. Petersburg. Streets packed, amid calls for a total lockdown, officials said get a jab of the ‘world beating’ Sputnik (only 11% of Russians had one so far). Results of ERP finally revealed, they showed 28 covid cases detected from 9 large-scale events April-May. Metro mentioned high compliance with mask-wearing and social distancing but not take-up of PCR testing before and after, which The Independent reported as low. Scientists advised treating the findings with ‘extreme caution’ as a result. How could it be a properly controlled scientific experiment if testing wasn’t mandatory for the 58,000 attendees? Chief advisers Nicholas Hytner and David Ross made no ‘conclusive public health recommendations on the reopening of events’. Kromek innovation detected virus in the air at Teesside airport. Why not elsewhere?
CCTV film of The Cock snogging close university friend Gina Coladangelo while grabbing her arse covered The Sun’s front page. Taken before lockdown easing in May, he was accused of hypocritically breaking social distancing. Amid calls to stand down, he apologised. Rather than sack him, Boris said he still had faith and considered the matter closed. Annalise Dodds exclaimed: “He set the rules, he admits he broke them. He has to go.” A labour spokesman added: “The PM recently described him as ‘useless’ – the fact that even now he still can’t sack him shows how spineless he is.” They were right but was it a worse crime than lying about PPE failures and elderly care deaths? Questions ensued on how the girlfriend got jobs as an aide and a non-exec director at DoH.
Grab a Jab
Youngest Brother turned 50 on Saturday. I posted an arty photo and joked he was catching up! Phil cut my hair, I draft-posted the journal, and nipped out to plant celery in the mini-greenhouse. Watering parched Christmas trees, I got covered in sticky plant seeds. The pesky embedded things took ages to pluck off my clothes. As Gran emerged from her daughter’s house, I went over to chat. She was sceptical the seeds were forget-me-nots but I couldn’t think what else they’d be. She updated me on her recent injury, feelings of malaise, and a return of our old local. “You should come down.” “Not sure I’m ready for that yet. We stick to pubs with more space. And as for the price of beer…” She went back in for gin and to watch her home nation In the first knock-out match of Euro 2020. Spattered with green plant goo, I washed the dress and got changed before sitting down. A totally outclassed Wales lost to Denmark 4-0. For dinner, Phil cooked the main course and I made a crumble for dessert, using up fruit past its best.
Unable to sleep late Sunday, I turned on the telly for the inevitable news. I considered going to the market, decided not to bother, took empty bottles to the recycling bin and saw a folder atop the community garden wall. Was it a leaked Whitehall file? (see below). I listened to music, did more de-cluttering in the small room and wrote a haiga. Phil made austerity roast for dinner, slightly different to last time. He had trouble cooking cabbage leading to interminable microwave pings. As I opened the door to heat up leftover crumble, a waft of fiery air hit me in the face and I discovered the metal side was red-hot. Scared to use it, I left him to put the pudding under the grill, which turned out to be a waste of time. Annoyed at profligate use of fuel, I fumed, while he sulked until we felt able to speak to each other again. I fell asleep quickly but woke in the early hours, absolutely parched.
Young people were urged to ‘Grab a Jab’ at walk-in centres for all adults not yet vaccinated. Stephen Powis stood outside the Emirates stadium to say only 10% of cases were now hospitalised. Mobile units also targeted hesitant groups. The extra capacity led to half of 18-29 year olds being inoculated by the end of the weekend. Just as well, seeing as hundreds of Leeds students partied in the streets of Hyde Park, dubbed Covid Central due to having the highest rate in the country.
Spineless Boris lacking the guts to sack him, The Cock resigned. The PM later claimed credit for the move. I agreed with Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice that he should have been ditched months ago for incompetence but thought reporting it to the police was pointless, even with the backing of Fleur Anderson. We subsequently learnt he used a private e-mail account for official business (why, if there was nothing to hide?) and left his wife the night before the story broke – what a coward! The Cock unaware of CCTV in his office, it emerged an anti-lockdown Whitehall whistle-blower handed footage to the press. Cameras subsequently disabled, Brandon Lewis pledged an internal inquiry into the leak’s source. Sajid Javid filled the vacancy. The Scumbag tweeted he’d ‘tricked the PM’ into sacking Saj from the Treasury. Otherwise there’d have been chaos.
Andrew Marr informed Sir Peter Horby (of Nervtag and Oxford Uni) he had covid last week, which explained his absence. Likely contracted at the G7 in spite of 2 jabs, Sir Peter told him he was unlucky and went onto suggest the data looked good for unlocking 19th July. However, rises in Sydney and Israel due to the Delta variant led to lockdown in the former and a return to mask-wearing in the latter and should be a lesson. Warning of a double or triple whammy in winter with covid, flu and something else, he urged us all to get flu jabs. Other medics also predicted more winter flu because of less immunity. Again I thought, make your minds up! What if we all stuck to face- masks and social distancing? Witless looked like a frightened rabbit as he was accosted in St. James’ Park. An outraged Met investigated but made no arrests yet. Confidential MOD files were found at a bus stop in Kent, detailing the willy-waving mission of HMS Defender versus Russia in the Crimea earlier in the week. Labour said it showed the government didn’t do its job and could have jeopardised operations.
Reference:
i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com
The Corvus Diaries 