The Corvus Papers 4: Permacrisis

“(Permacrisis*) sums up quite succinctly how truly awful 2022 has been for so many people” (Alex Beecroft)

Highway To Hell

Woodland 1

Suffering a bad cold at the start of November, I’d forgot the practice nurse call.  She proffered more questions, a mammogram re-invite and directed me to the ‘Menopause Matters’ website before a follow-up call.  Unable to go for covid boosters, I re-booked but still snotty the next week and no more clinics available, was told to ring back when our colds had gone.  Phil shopped and cooked, having a trauma as the gas ring set fire to a baking sheet.  I’d just gone back to bed Thursday morning when the postie loudly knocked on the door, bearing a small parcel (1 of 2 items from Natures Best, the other came the next day – why on earth were they sent separately?)  I made a big effort to do chores, frustrated by not finding a washed tablecloth; buried in a basket.  Brighter following heavy overnight rain, I moved still sopping laundry into the sun, opened the window for fresh air and posted a Cool Places blogi.  After work, Phil rushed to the bathroom with a heavy sigh.  “What’s up?” “I served a customer with covid outside The Store.” “You might have covid.” “Yes, but he really did.”  Shivering, I noted moisture on windows even though I’d wiped them, conceded it was proper cold and put the heating on.  Watching QT, Phil asked: “What’s Patrick Bateman said?” He meant Psycho Chris Philp.  I hadn’t heard him leave Friday morning and dozed to traffic sounds; always noisier after October half-term.  A sizzling frosty start was obscured by more condensation!  Getting exhausted trying to clean, I returned to bed and battled brightness to use the laptop and browse Menopause Matters.  Confused by a variety of HRT, I dawdled to the co-op, enjoying every moment of sunshine and a smile from Scottish ex-neighbour on the way.  I scored the free trolley and saw The Widower.  Having dithered over wearing a face-mask in case of covid, I didn’t and guiltily kept my distance asking after his health, then got more uneasy as an old man in front of me at the till dropped his walking stick and politely declined my offer of help.  Knackered by the exertion, I took a cuppa to bed and edited my Christmas card.  The sun already behind the hill when Phil got back, a spooky ¾ moon rose prettily below a shiny Jupiter.  Saturday, I woke with remnants of an intricate dream in my head inspired by the fantasy film The Wanting Mare.  Slightly better, I retrieved winter clobber, donned a woolly jumper and sat in the chilly living room. 

As Musk realised he’d paid over the odds for loss-making Twitter, he requested $20 per celeb to keep their blue tick.  Stephen King tweeted Musk should be paying him, to which Musk replied, what about $8?  A wave of fake blue tick accounts including his, hilariously ensued.  Putting profit above people, he brutally sacked half his staff via 3.00 a.m. e-mails.  Paid up to February – not bad! – the human rights team the first to go.  A class action was brought.  Later in the month, staff told to sign up for high intensity long hours or leave, quit.  Musk shut the offices for a week. 1m tweeters closed or deactivated their accounts and Mastodon reported 70,000 new users.  Too confusing and unable to join the UK ‘instance’, I gave up doing likewise.  Photoshop failing to save the latest Christmas card edit, I started again, then it crashed, losing 2 days’ work!  Phil offered to help. “No! It’s secret!”  Making dinner, I jumped every time a firework went off outside. Phil tutted: “That’ll happen all night.” “Yes, but it still makes me jump.”  Muted colours in soft sunlight disappeared into the grey Sunday.  Waking early full of gunk, I gave up sleeping, struggled down and started the Christmas card from scratch until Phil returned with Tales From The Store.  Colleagues totally avoiding veggie food, one referred to chickpeas as dirt.  It reminded me of Walking Friend’s violent aversion to coriander when we discussed spicy recipes the other week.  A sore throat overnight extended into my nose and cheeks Monday.  I took echinacea and battled on.

More hospitalisations for flu, covid infections fell. Compass Pathways found psilocybin (aka magic mushrooms lifted depression in 1/3 of severe cases.  According to the downloadable bio ‘out of the blue’, Truss ate a pork pie with her favoured tipple the night before resigning – still no mention of Melton Mowbray’s demise!  The Cock entered the jungle, ostensibly to promote dyslexia awareness.  Called a skiver, embarrassing and disingenuous, incensed constituents weren’t mollified by a hotline to their MP.  The whip withdrawn, Bereaved Families’ Lobby Akinnola said the former health sec should focus on the covid inquiry, not ‘a shameless attempt to revamp his image.’  He ambled in to beg forgiveness of gaping contestants and predictably be first in line for bushtucker trials.  Those poor animals!  On Laura K., Ed Millipede said we hadn’t done enough since the last COP, Diane Johnson said the immigration system was a mess and Oliver Dowdy defended Swellen and agreed The Salesman’s expletive-laden texts to Wendy Morton were unacceptable, but excused them for being sent at a ‘difficult time’.  Jerk Berry informed Rishi about the texts the day before he made Gavin ‘Minister without Portfolio’.  Standards obviously only applying in good times, Morton referred him to the Independent Complaints & Grievance Scheme.  A 10 year old hack told Andrew Neil he was brought in as a fixer as he was good at ‘behind the scenes dark arts stuff’.  Transport minister Dick Holden evaded questions on scrapping Northern Poorhouse Rail, saying they had to cut their cloth.  As ‘furious as everyone else’ about illegal immigration, he parroted lame excuses for 12 years’ failure.

John Swinney made massive Scottish budget cuts and Morrisons were shutting 132 McColls stores.  Slow global growth led to tech job losses.  With competition from TikTok, Apple privacy changes and loss of investor confidence concerning decade-long Metaverse plans, Meta would lay off 13% of staff with the recruitment team hardest hit.  E-mails told us we could no longer revert to ‘classic’ Facebook and MS would charge for attachment storage – time to purge that in-box!  Octopus energy already paying customers to cut peak-time gas use, National Grid started a trial for smart meter customers.  BP profits £7bn July-Aug, Just Stop Oil threw orange paint at the Home Office, M15, BOE, and News Corp HQ: the ‘4 pillars that support and maintain the power of a fossil fuel economy – government, security, finance and media’.  Trussed-Up having ruined the UK’s reputation and taking longer to regain it, the worst recession for a century was likely to last into 2023.  BOE hiked interest to 3%, the most since 1987.  Former gov Mark Carney said sterling’s fall and a shrinking economy after Brexit added to ‘inflationary pressure’.  Rees-Moggy railed: “To blame…Brexit Is bizarre and only an ultra Remainiac would make such a bogus argument.”  No, Moggy, you’re the maniac!  Rishi promised a new budget would reveal him as Santa, not scrooge. Yeah, for the rich!  On QT, Lord Stuart Rose thought it too late to avoid a long recession.  Predicting the new budget would dish out pain, economist Zanny Minton-Bedoes called discounting tax rises and scrapping of the triple-lock mad; everything should be on the table.  60% of the public with a £60 monthly deficit, and 20% with no savings or resilience after 12 years of tory rule, Peter Kyle said it’d be long and painful.  The Psycho prated about the wealthiest 1% paying 28% of all tax, thresholds and the minimum wage going up.  The audience threw out questions on hungry kids, windfall taxes and the futility of raising interest so we wouldn’t buy stuff that we had no money for anyway.  55% of consumers using credit for Christmas tat, 20% for the first time, 2/5 taking out loans to pay off HP seemed like a bad idea!  More talks agreed, rail strikes due early November were called off too late for normal service to resume Saturday or even the next week.  With a new offer, the Hull Stagecoach strike was suspended.  Scrapping Boris’ daft royal yacht project, Ben Wally said they’d build the MROSS defence ship instead.

Highway To Hell

In his first interview since resigning, The Bumbler told Sky Vlad would be mad to use nuclear weapons.  Attending COP27, Rishi decided to go, allegedly because they’d made good progress on their budget.  Not going to Egypt, Kingy held an audience at Buck House.  Storm Claudio brought yellow wind and rain from France and flooding round London.

As South East commuters also contended with protestors on M25 gantries, Rishi and Boris arrived in sunny Sharm, the latter with a bevy of teenage girls – did they write his policy?  Guterres warned conference action on the ‘defining issue of our times’ was woeful, the clock was ticking and we were on “the last stages of the highway to climate hell, with our foot still on the accelerator.”  Activists in Rome showered Van Gogh’s The Sower with pea soup.

Migrants bussed out of Manston described inhuman conditions as some were left at Victoria Coach Station coatless and shod in flip-flops.  A kid threw a letter over the fence addressed to journalists. Children’s commissioner Rachel de Souza asked Swellen how many unaccompanied children were in the camp and how were they treated?  A ‘deeply concerned’ Diane Johnson (home affairs cttee chair) and 14 council heads wrote to Swellen complaining of its use as an ‘easy fix for a national strategic issue’.  Tensions mounting, protestors brandished placards reading ‘Suella’s shame’ and a right-wing backlash threatened.  Albanian MP Edi Rama tweeted it was ‘easy rhetoric’ blaming them and on Newsnight, accused the UK of scapegoating, while Rachel Maclean cited ‘unintended consequences’ of the Modern Slavery Act for more boat crossings – err, most victims were British!  Ignoring a power outage at Harmondsworth immigrant removal centre where detainees with ‘various weaponry’ ‘rioting’ in the courtyard, met riot police, the BBC alleged Kurdish criminal gangs controlled French camps and paid Albanians to channel-cross to work in the ‘drugs trade’.  UK pay 10 times higher, they left their home towns empty.  What clap-trap – drug dealers weren’t on regular wages!  Minister Graham Stuart admitted Swellen used ‘unfortunate language’.  Spotting his nephew on Metro’s front cover, Albanian Arben Halili, travelled from Oxford, tried to get into Manston and blocked a coach leaving the site.  Landing in a chinook Thursday, Swellen was booed and journos were banned.  Legal action was brought by Detention Action and a woman ‘from outside Europe’ allegedly left at Manston in ‘egregiously defective conditions’ for 3 weeks until allowed to stay with family in the UK.

At PMQs, Rishi was asked what Swellen had to do to resign and who broke the asylum system?  Always shifting blame, it could only be the tories after 12 years’ power.  Rishi told Keir they were getting a grip but he’d voted against the bill and couldn’t attack a plan and not have one himself.  Keir leered, let’s look at that plan: Manston nor Rwanda were working.  He’d prosecuted people-traffickers, they couldn’t even process migrants.  It was time to scrap gimmicks, get a proper home sec, and get a grip.  Rishi wittered about Keir supporting national security risk Corbyn.  Blackford harped on about the triple-lock and political choices hitting the poorest hardest – why not take the easy decisions, raise windfall taxes, scrap non-doms, and help the vulnerable?  Rishi insisted they supported oil companies to invest.  Furious at money spent on housing illegals, a backbencher wondered when it’d be sorted out.  Rishi parroted ‘we will defend our borders’.  Alba asked if Scotland was a territorial British colony; the argument rumbled on all month.

After Baroness Casey called her report ‘a line in the sand’ and Mark Rowley said it was clear hundreds of Met officers should be sacked, HMICFRS** published findings of sexism and misogyny in several police forces.  Inadequate vetting made it too easy for the wrong people to join.  Rowley later complained he couldn’t get rid of cops not trusted to speak to the public.  Fireworks were thrown at police vans in Leeds and a 17 year old Halifax lad being chased by cops, crashed into a greenhouse and died.  Rallying for early elections, ex Pakistan PM Imran Khan was shot in the leg.  An alleged assassination attempt, further demos followed.

In a major shake-up, The Arts Council shifted £50m from London to the provinces.  ENO funding cut, a restructuring grant helped them relocate to Manchester and Blackpool illuminations got money for the first time – those Red Indians did need replacing!  As non-Americans googled it to do a wordle, Cambridge dictionary named ‘homer’ word of the year.  ‘Permacrisis’ topped Collins’ list which also included ‘sportswashing’, ‘warm bank’, ‘partygate’, ‘vibe shift’, ‘lawfare’, ‘quiet quitting’, ‘Carolean’ and ‘splooting’.

Nasty Business

The Grand

Woken prematurely by Phil Tuesday 8th, I grumbled, dozed, exercised, cleaned and began an Ocado order when the nurse rang an hour early.  I griped of complex info on Menopause Matters, and more generally, of having to do it all yourself these days.  After clarifying some points. we agreed on low-dose HRT patches, ready to collect next week.  Phil hoped I didn’t go loopy like Carole Gammone.  “It’s meant to improve your mood; I bet she’s on a high dosage from a dodgy source.”  Early Wednesday, I realised the bathroom light was left on overnight, switched it off, then Phil fumbled to the loo, turning it back on.  Forecasters repeated it was mild for the time of year but omitted to mention rain.  Together with a heavy head and tummy ache, it mitigated against an outing.  Phil popped to the shop just in time for a sharp shower.  Thursday even wetter, I felt cold.  Exhausted from vacuuming when Ocado came, I wryly observed I’d fallen into the trap of buying tiny packs again (I thought the juice trio was cheap!)  I shelved a trip to the market and booked a BG service – amazingly lots of slots available, for next Monday.  Receiving a letter from the dole saying I qualified for an extra warm homes grant and still diddled out of the full energy rebate, I went round in circles trying to fathom the new Evolve site.  Newsnight had featured Evolv’s crap AI weapons detection – was it the same thing?  Phil had a funny do with his right eye at work; annoying just as his left one improved. “Do you need an ambulance?” “No; I’ll ring doctors if it gets worse.” “It already is.” “I mean if there are signs of a detached retina.”  The Store had finally recruited an assistant manager, meaning a 3-day week – in the short-term.  December rosters unset, he was unsure of Christmas shifts, pondered taking leave, but there was no need.  Untangling last month’s Westminster shit-show for the journal, I got head fug and turned the laptop off for a 3rd update in 2 days.  Struggling to sleep, I enjoyed hooting owls; much nicer than squawking geese Friday morning.  Going to the co-op, a cat scuttling in the undergrowth on the steps startled me.  I revelled in mild, fresh air scented by late-blooming Japanese Jasmine until assailed by traffic fumes on the main road.  Several items missing from shelves, I asked My Mate could I pay at the kiosk.  He advised using the conveyors but asked if I wanted baccy. “Just filters.” “I’m disappointed.” “I got baccy already and meant to buy filters on the market, but the weather was too horrid and I wasn’t up to it after a bad cold. I’ve been nowhere but here for 2 weeks – so depressing!”  He sympathised and hoped I’d soon be better.  Phil got home to relate previous occupations of store co-workers, including an ex-binman who weirdly started early Thursdays for unpaid work, 2 pub landlords and a video shop owner.  “It’s a shit business! Any failed artists?” “I’m not failed.” “It’s a joke! After all, you did sell a print.”

Lenny Henry promoted his new kid’s book on BBC Breakfast Saturday.  Asked what advice he’d give aspiring authors, he said if there’s an unwritten book, write it, send it to your favourite publisher, you’re never too old and keep going.  I should get back to my novel!  Desperate for a walk, we headed through the busy town and through woodlands, buying eggs from a farm in-between.  An official egg shortage explained a dearth of them in the shops.  Allegedly due to bird flu, supermarkets refused to pay more so farmers chucked them away.  I said wasting food in straitened times should be a crime.  “What are they meant to do?” “Give them to food banks, take them to market…“ “Some do, hence the honesty box.”i.  As Lidl and Asda rationed eggs, BRC said there were plenty.  Phil disturbed my recovery with news of a historic Bradford pub office conversion and Nik Turner dying. “Shit! No more Space Ritual! But I bet the other half of Hawkwind are cheering ‘we got all the money’!”  The world hidden behind a nasty fog and condensation combo Sunday, I wiped the dripping windows and researched DIY dehumidifiers. “What about Do Not Eat?” “You’d need tons of it.”  Groggy and achy, I amended the Christmas card while Phil went to work.  Monday, the fog didn’t lift.  Conscious of the BG service, I sprung out of bed and chivvied Phil to help clear passageways.  New to BG, the engineer arrived with a mentoring colleague.  After 1½ hours poking, they said it did well for an old boiler, advised getting a new carbon monoxide detector and pointlessly adjusting an external pipe – any overflow would go straight down the drain.  Getting colder, I changed the boiler settings but having no heat or hot water, thought I’d messed it up.  Nope: the stupid men had turned the main switch off!

Covid infections rose in Australia.  800 on the Majestic Princess tested positive.  Cases mild or asymptomatic, the cruise ship docked in Sydney while isolated passengers made private travel arrangements.

Tuesday, it emerged The Salesman told a civil servant to ‘slit your throat’.  As a Downing Street informal inquiry into the nasty business began, he was gone by evening.  Already sacked twice from ministerial posts, this time he jumped before pushed.  Laying into Rishi’s ‘poor judgement and weak leadership’, Rayner said it was clear he was ‘strapped by the grubby backroom deals he made to dodge a vote’.  Wednesday, Gill Keegan said he had great judgement.  At PMQs, Keir asked how bullying victims would feel about the PM’s ‘great sadness’ at losing The Salesman?  Rishi insisted he didn’t know specifics and Gavin was right to go.  Keir persisted; Rishi normalised bullying by giving Gavin a job and he wouldn’t have got away with it if a weak boss hadn’t handed him power.  Did he regret the appointment?  Rishi replied ’of course’ he regretted appointing someone who resigned ‘in these circumstances’, adding integrity characterised his government, hence a rigorous process, but also important to deliver for the whole country, he listed his daft priorities.  Keir mocked, he couldn’t stand up to a run-of-the mill bully, so he couldn’t stand up to anyone, like Shell, who paid no windfall tax.  Rishi itemised Keir’s nay votes, to which Keir said he was against all chaos-creators including those on government benches.  On QT, Caroline Green said nurses struck for a better NHS, thus for us all.  Steph Flanders added, still experiencing the covid emergency, we must understand their long-term needs.  Questioned on the Cock’s bug-eating antics, Emily Thornberry said complacency led tories to think they deserved to rule.  Although not self-serving like them and entering public life to make the world a better place, all MPs were tarred with the same brush.  Held to account by Ant & Dec instead of the public, evading the covid inquiry and no ethics adviser, Mark Harper promised one soon but admitted they should consider how their conduct looked.  Asked if COP was realistic when big emitters weren’t there (i.e., India and China; while gas companies lobbied to be considered green!) Caroline said it was the only game in town and Steph didn’t want to give into fatalism.

Concluding the Grenfell inquiry, KCs highlighted startling government ignorance, incompetence and disregard for social housing tenants.  Arconic, Studio E., Exova, Centrex, Kingspan, Kensington Council (failing to inspect door closers), the Levelling Up sec and London mayor making up a rogues gallery, Richard Millett attacked the merry-go-round of buck-passing.  Uncleverly called the Aussie trade deal rubbish.  Truss-Up obviously the latest scapegoat, he had a point – where were our tim-tams?  Also blaming Truss, Kwasi Modo told Talk Radio he warned her she moved at breakneck speed.  So much for being in ‘lockstep’!  Amazon planned to sack 10,000, including Alexa staff  and Tim Martin was shutting 7 more Wetherspoons.  Phil and Julie Fox vowed to visit doomed pubs to add to the 295 they’d already patronised including their Halifax local, The Percy Shaw.  Fellow Brexiteer Next boss Simon Wolfson said it wasn’t the Brexit he wanted.  Tough shit, mister! (see Brexit Islandii).  Doing well under lockdown, Made.com struggled with supply issues and went bust.  Next bought the brand but not stock leaving customers with unfulfilled orders and no refunds.  Next also later teamed up with founder Tom Joules to rescue the colourful clothes brand.

Calling Blighty

Evil energy companies remotely switched 60,000 to pre-payment without notice.  Unaware customers failing to top-up could be disconnection by default – another reason not to have a smart meter! 

1.3m using food banks, The Trussell Trust launched their first emergency appeal.  A ‘sticking plaster’, they urged government to budget for long-term measures.  GDP down 0.2% July-Sept., The C**t harped on about global factors and admitted there’d be a slump, which could be short and shallow if interest stayed low.  Refusing to be drawn by Laura K. on its contents, he promised us all pain with his ‘horrible decisions’.  Swerving questions on Brexit, an FT economist called it the elephant in the room.  Simon Sharma cited rotting cabbages and NHS staff shortages.  As they segued into the Remembrance Sunday lark, a Lord Army Major said ceremonies took place in towns and cities around the globe.  Port Stanley was hardly an empire!  Steve Hawley unearthed ‘Calling Blighty’.  The wartime messages from soldiers to families back home, were screened to descendants in Penis Town’s quaint cinema.  Doc film ‘A Bunch of Amateurs’ premiered at Pictureville to rave reviews.  Why’d we not heard of Bradford Movie Makers, established 1932, when we lived in The City?

The UK-wide RCN ballot closed.  The vote not unanimous, nurses in half of English trusts, all in Scotland and NI and all but 7 in Wales, would strike December, not affecting emergency services.  Laughingly preparing ‘contingencies’, Steve Barclay said his door was always open for talks.  That was the first they’d heard!  Gill Keegan helpfully claimed nurses only used foodbanks if they had a broken relationship or boiler.  100,000 PCS Civil servants voting to strike, according to the TUC, 1.5m public sector workers considered doing likewise.  M25 protests into a third day, a lorry crashing into a rolling roadblock hurt a cop.  On the fourth day, London commuters also contended with no tubes and bus queues.  TFL advised travel outside peak times, incredibly starting at 5.45 a.m. (was that all the Deliveroo?) and issued a walking tube map, saying stations were only 10 mins apart; 2 mins in central London, more like.  Just Stop Oil ended the protest Friday.  Amidst reports of buffet shortages, Uncle Joe told COP27 delegates the “science is devastatingly clear – we have to make progress by the end of this decade.”  They agreed a deal to fund climate change damage but not to cut emissions or fossils fuels.  Martin Kaiser, Greenpeace Germany, called it a ‘sticking plaster on a huge, gaping wound’.  Canberra activists threw blue paint at ‘symbol of capitalism‘, Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans.  Talk about missing the point!  Rishi went to Bali for the G20.  Fearing assassination for weakness, Vlad sent Sergei Lavrov.  Vlod pointedly addressed the G19, China criticised the weaponization of food and fuel, and the Cambodian leader tested positive for covid.  Meanwhile, Top CIA man Bill Burns met his Russian counterpart Sergei Naryshkin in Ankara, to discuss Yanks held in detention and convey ‘a message on the consequences of the use of nuclear weapons’.

Swellen gave France £8m extra a year for more beach patrols and UK immigration officers in their control rooms.  Nitwit Elphicke carped it fell short of what was needed.  Admitting it wouldn’t solve the crisis of 40,000 channel crossings, Swellen said it was part of a multi-dimensional approach.  Albanian migrants held a demo Sunday, demanding the nasty bitch resign.  After Uncleverly told LGBTQ fans to respect Qatari laws at the World Cup, as a ‘massive gay’, Luke Pollard urged he apologise.  An official ambassador then said homosexuality damaged the mind.  Reports of safehouses being set up, disgraced ex-FIFA boss Sepp Blatter was more concerned Qatar was too tiny to host the competition than human rights or migrant construction worker deaths.  Russian troops withdrew from Kherson, destroying comms on the way out of the only regional capital they’d captured during the war.  Republicans not faring as expected in US midterms, The Trump said if they did well, it was down to him but if not, it was everyone else’s fault and blamed Melania for advising him to back a loser.  This didn’t deter a ‘big announcement’ that he’d re-run for president.

Kingy and Camilla’s cut-price coronation would take place 6th May 2023, with a third May bank holiday Monday 8th.  On a 2-day Yorkshire tour, they visited Bradford, Leeds, Doncaster and York, where a man shouted this country was built on slavery and chucked eggs at them.  On his 74th birthday, Kingy leant on an oak tree for dumb selfies.  Nobody knew if he’d continue the tradition of an official summer birthday.  Tuesday, 3 British actors (Tom Owen, Bill Treacher and Leslie Philips) died, as did swingometer inventor David Butler.  Paying tribute, Michael Crick said: “For decades (he) was the foremost psephologist in Britain and around the world.”  Premier Inn was voted best chain hotel and tatty with a ‘rough and ready feel’,  Britannia the worst.  Simon Calder rightly argued you could stay in ace places like Scarborough’s Grand.

Unhinged

Woodland 2

The bedroom telly came on at 6 a.m. Tuesday 15th.  Jolted awake by the Milkshake theme, I could never find the auto-alarm feature to switch it off but tuned to BBC, it was less raucous when it happened again the next week.  Phil learnt on google his hot flush could be down to lifestyle changes. “Doing a work! Your body’s in overdrive trying to make testosterone. Maybe you need HRT too. I’ll ask when I get mine.”  I forgot, but bought a few essentials in the chemist, later realising I’d got conditioner instead of shampoo again and spotted hair clippers on an-aisle end.  Later in the week, Phil successfully exchanged the hair gunk and bought clippers with myriad attachments.  I went home to tut at mill redevelopers messing about on a trial trike – were they unhinged? – and read the HRT leaflet to fret over side-effects.  Phil subsequently persuaded me to try it.  He agreed opening a window to dispel moisture in Wednesday sunshine was a good idea until the temperature dropped.  Cleaning the landing, the tripod stand fell apart.  Swearing loudly, I left it in bits and asked Phil if he’d  heard me. “Yes; what was it?” “Guess. I think there’s a screw missing.” “I think a screw is missing.” “I just said that!”  We discussed a cut-price Christmas and going to Lidl for German treats. “And lobsters,” he offered. “I’m not buying them. Too much faff and we don’t know your shifts. I’m cooking nowt that takes half a day to prepare.”

Due to intimidation and throwing tomatoes at them, civil servants avoided working with Rabid Raab in his previous cabinet roles.  Facing two formal bullying complaints, he wrote to Rishi requesting an independent inquiry, then faced Rayner.  PMQs covered by a new ‘talking politics’ segment on channel 5, we listened to host Storm trying to be serious and an unhinged Carole Gammone saying such claims were normal in a working environment (in her nasty world!) then tuned to BBC for actual debate.  Clive Betts asked if the PM (hobnobbing in Bali) should allow Raab to serve to which he parroted he’d comply fully.  Rayner not on top form, asked a question worthy of a toady then followed up with: the G20 supposedly addressing global economics, why did the government drag its feet on taxing massive profits?  He spouted the usual codswallop on lower tax gaps and stricter non-dom regs.  She retorted the truth was, working people paid the price for tory choices.  Where was the UK in the list of the 38 growth countries?  As Raab kept schtum, she told him: 38th; thanks to wrong people making wrong choices.  No ethics, no integrity and no mandate, when would a new ethics adviser drain the swamp?  Raab refuted all bullying claims including flying tomatoes and said the ’mud-slinging’ was because labour didn’t have a plan.  Rees-Moggy chimed in that labour’s bullying record was second to none.  On Daily Politics, Bridget Philipson complained Raab ignored labour’s plans  for growth and to help with inflation and suppressed wages.

A rogue missile hit Poland, killing 2.  Vlod blamed Vlad.  In urgent G20 talks, Biden gave Duda’s investigation his ‘full support’ but rather than coming from Russia, was likely shot down by a Soviet-era S300; part of Ukrainian air defences.  No indication it was deliberate, paying for a top-up at the co-op kiosk, I overheard a colleague telling someone that was how WW2 started  “Let’s not get carried away; it was an accident.” I told My Mate. “On a lighter note, have a good day.” “See you in the bomb shelter.” “Eff off! Pardon my French.”  Head fuggy writing, I picked up the guitar for the first time in months.  Barely able to remember simple chords, they gradually came back to me.  Phil returned with Pueblo baccy – worthy, organic, made by native Americans, bought by woke hippies, and now, him.

Still raining after overnight rain Thursday, I guessed a swollen river would cause consternation.  As did The C**t’s budget.  Glossing over council tax hikes, he focussed on frozen income tax thresholds costing earners more over time, less help with energy bills from April, windfall tax rising to 35% and extended to 2028, slower public spending rises but more for health, social care and education for the next 2 years (excluding early years, 6th form and HE), a 10.1% rise in benefits rise and the national living wage to £12.42 from April, and some guff on wind turbines and broadband.  Reeves whinged in the ‘Bobby Ewing strategy’ of denying past chaos, ‘old cast members returned as if nothing had happened and it was time the series was cancelled’.  Sturgeon griped that austerity had returned.  Energy help well short of what was needed, the End Fuel Poverty Coalition predicted 7m still in fuel poverty would be joined by an extra 1.6m.  Simon Francis said: “we are already seeing the horrific impact of living in cold damp homes and children…Without the financial support…this winter…the NHS will be overwhelmed and millions will suffer.”  Interviewed by Chris Mason, The C**t denied ducking difficult decisions until after the next election.  He faced them in a ‘balanced way’, given an upcoming 2 years of recession, but there was a plan and there was hope to ‘get us back to normality’.  He’d obviously listened to the BOE who said we’d start ‘getting back to normal’ after the winter gas crisis.  Phil laughed at the persistent misguided belief: “Everyone, the IMF etc., say things will never return to normal.”  Friday, I discovered a strike by Jacob’s workers.  Phil reckoned loads of industrial action wasn’t reported by ‘Pravda’ (aka the BBC).  Hunting for Christmas treats in the co-op, random stock occupied the diminished cracker shelf.  Amid a tinned peach shortage (nowt to do with Brexit!) I regretted eating one last month, and opted for retro fruit cocktail.  Phil rang at the end of his shift.  Dank as the sun dipped behind the hill, I eschewed the pub.  His latest ‘how shops work’ tutorial entailed the air con system clarting shelves in dust. “You can tell as soon as you walk in if it’s a decent shop or not. “Like the awful Sainsbury’s in the next village?” “Yep. And their new co-op will be Asda soon as they sold them with the forecourts.”  Store people from Preston brought new snacks.  He bought cheese savouries. “What else did they bring?” “Loads of sweets and salt n vinegar savouries. I pulled a face: “Ooh no!” “You sound like a granny.” “I am 60 you know!” “Join the gammon grannies, saying everything’s disgusting!” “If I do get like that, shoot me.” “I will!” A slight hangover Saturday, I slept in shockingly late (like the old days), posted a blog and considered the Omaze house prize draw.  Too pricey, I decided Marbella was full of gangsters anyway and edited the Christmas card while Phil cut his hair.  Struggling to settle with a whirring mind at bedtime, I finally dropped off to be roused by him coughing at 3.45.  Exhausted and tearful, I blocked out bright light and eventually got a few hours.  Despite insomnia and low mood, I gave up lying-in Sunday and found a tumbler stained yellow from Phil drinking turmeric. I complained it hadn’t stopped his cough.  About to go for a wander, he was asked to do an extra shift.  I whinged of short notice but he countered it was more money with no lifting, and the weather wasn’t great.  To be fair, it rained soon after.  I went for knobbly market veg and browsed charity shops, getting myself a handbag and him chinos for work (perfect except unhemmed, they needed altering) then nipped in the co-op to wait at the till as a woman filled her bag with luxury items like avocado and prawns.  I finished the Christmas card before Phil got home.  Entering and exiting the living room several times, he stood peering at the wall calendar.  The shifts I’d scribbled on not tallying with the office chart, he decided he was on a late Monday and looked forward to a lie-in.  Aware of movement at 7.00 a.m., I rose to find a note saying he was on an early after all.  Putting my first HRT patch on, I immediately had a hot flush.  Probably not weird, I got on with writing and chores.  Shivering all day even in extra layers, when Phil got in, I battened down the hatches and put the heating on.  Well, it was 4 degrees out.  Work on the journal was interrupted by Tales from The Store.  The new assistant manager blobbed twice, then left.  Giving some hogwash about the work causing anxiety, they suspected she had 2 jobs.  Possibly unhinged, I wondered if they checked references.  Phil said hardly anyone did now.  “How Stupid!” “Penny wise, pound foolish, that’s today’s capitalists.” “Tell your boss I’ve got a background in personnel and am available for a reasonable consultancy fee!” Back to 4-day weeks, Phil got crumpets with jam as a sop.  He asked was I watching the World Cup. “I’m boycotting it.” “I’m not boycotting England games.” “They gave into the armband lark, and those rich pundits complaining of human rights abuses, still taking millions to be there. It’s awful!” “How do you know all that if you’re not watching it?” “From the news. I’m keeping up with the antics. I might change my mind if England reach the final.”  I actually caved in before then, which was just as well.

Protesting David Beckham’s £10m ambassador deal, Joe Lycett shredded £10,000 in fake notes.  2 days before Kick-off, Qatar banned venue alcohol sales.  Bud tweeted, ‘this is awkward’.  At the last minute, FIFA forbid captains to wear ‘one love’ armbands, threatening yellow cards and fines.  Home nation fans left at half-time during the first match but official attendance figures exceeded stadium capacity.  In support of protestors, Iranian players refused to sing their national anthem.  England beat them 6-2, the highest score ever for an opening game.  Thousands were locked out due to a FIFA app malfunction.  Rainbow bucket hats were taken off Welsh fans and a reporter clad in a rainbow tee was denied entry.  FIFA said confiscation of clothing would end Thursday.

Get Out!

New drug Teplizumab could delay the onset of type 1 diabetes for 3 years and lead to better treatments.  As a banner flew over the jungle reading: ‘Covid bereaved say get out of here’, crocodile tears had the desired effect and people stopped voting for The Cock to do bushtucker trials.  The QT audience wondered if we’d survive 2 years’ austerity.  Thicky Atkins disingenuously claimed the effects of Trussonomics had flushed through the system, according to the OBR.

Queried on when they’d re-join the single market and tax the likes of Amazon who’d made a mint during covid, Thicky denied Brexit was to blame, said we should look forward and all countries had the same pressures.  Ian Blackford reckoned taxing big companies could raise £11 bn; it was a political choice to make the poor pay.  At the CBI conference in Brum, Tony Danker wanted ‘part 2’ of the budget statement, to encourage investment in UK and spark growth.  Rishi said ‘wait and see’.  He also quashed rumours of a ‘Swiss style’ EU deal, saying Brexit was delivering for the country.  His unhinged speech slayed me: “I voted for Brexit, I believe in Brexit…already delivering enormous benefits and opportunities for the country – migration being an immediate one…proper control of our borders…(we can)…have a conversation with the country about the type of migration that we want and need…We weren’t able to do that inside the European Union…” (Yep, that’s going well!) “When it comes to trade…we can open up our country to the world’s fastest-growing markets…I’ve just got back from the G20…talking about signing CPTPP…(becoming) part of that trading bloc, that’s a fantastic opportunity…” (See ‘Brexit island’ii).  Guardianistas incensed that Keir wouldn’t reverse Brexit either, the next day, he told business leaders the UK must end dependency on cheap immigrant labour and train our own.

Average pay rises of 5.7% (6.6% for the private sector and 2.2% for the public), didn’t keep pace with the highest inflation for 40 years.  11.1% in October, 11.9% for those on low incomes and 16.2% for food, we couldn’t avoid staples like milk and eggs but we could shun extortionate Heinz ketchup.  Hull suffered higher inflation and excess deaths – due to draughtier homes, lower wages, or lower prices to start with?  In first-ever talks with the RCN, The health sec swerved pay talk in favour of body-cams and care funding.  Pat Cullen retorted: “By refusing my requests for negotiations, Steve Barclay is directly responsible for the strike action this month…Nursing staff don’t want to be outside their hospitals, they want to be inside – feeling respected and able to provide safe care to patients.”  Heathrow baggage handlers struck and PO workers announced 10 days’ further action Nov-Dec, including Black Friday and Christmas Eve.  Half-year losses £219m, Royal Mail asked government if they could stop Saturday letter deliveries, as the public were indifferent (we couldn’t afford the stamps!) and concentrate on packages; maybe planning to capitalise on Evri (formerly Hermes), again voted worst parcel service.  A coroner concluded toddler Awaab Ishaq died from an untreated severe respiratory condition caused by prolonged exposure to mould in his home.  The family accused Rochdale Boroughwide Housing of racism.  CE Gareth Swarbrick resigned, Gove withdrew funding (how did that help?) and a week later, said sorry to tenants still living with fungi.  Greenpeace projected a video highlighting fuel poverty onto Rishi’s North Yorks Georgian mansion.  Heavy rain brought mayhem to southern villages and roads, Aberdeenshire flooding swept someone into the River Don and Russian shelling left half of Kyiv without power.  Finding evidence of explosives near Nord Stream 1 & 2, Swedish prosecutors called September’s leaks ‘gross sabotage’.  A major gas supplier to the UK and EU, Norway stepped up surveillance.  A 5.6 shallow earthquake along Indonesia’s ring of fire felled houses, blocked roads and killed at least 162.  Hundreds of injured were treated amid aftershocks in Java.  Artemis 1 finally took off to take a moonikin to the moon.  Both Brian Cox’s on BBC breakfast, the actor promoted his new show on how the other half lived and the physicist touted his new book.  Building on Stephen Hawking’s work, it was an idiot’s guide to black holes – The universe for dummies!

Broken Britain

Broken Britain

Tuesday lunchtime, I proffered Phil a spare finger roll.  Mishearing me, he asked was it a fancy foreign thing like Remainers bought in The Store? “Yes, fingerorle authentico!”  Falling asleep faster at night, I actually dropped off for 5 mins during a siesta – was it the hormones?  As we waited at the sunny bus stop Wednesday, the geese squawked and waddled off the church lawn in unison.  Phil laughed at their peculiar communication and related an anecdote of one flying down to the river and unable to fly back up, getting stuck.  A quick ride to the next town, all-day brekkies at the market café ate into the time as they were short-staffed and Phil ordered the biggest, which took ages to cook.  Disappointingly no thermal socks in Age UK, Phil found a book and DVD.  Paying for them to hide for yule, I spotted a tin of smelly miniatures for myself.  The discount store and the German supermarket provided the best seasonal goody mission for 3 years.  Pleased with our haul, we headed for the bus, letting a polite schoolboy on first.  The fast journey back juddery, we thought a spring was broke or, as Phil sang: “the wheels on the bus are  not  round!”

Brexit putting investors off, OECD forecast the UK as the worst-performing country in the G20 2023 and possibly 2024.  Rishi told cabinet we faced ‘a challenging winter’ of strikes, high costs and NHS backlogs.  Labour said he took ‘people for fools’ blaming winter and not a ‘decade of tory mismanagement’ for the challenges.  Watching PMQs on iPlayer, Keir failed to mention this, declared ‘shame on FIFA’ and asked why we had the lowest growth? Rishi insisted it was the highest since 2010 and the fastest this year, and selected 3 ‘important points’ from the OECD report: growth, international challenges, and support for his fiscal plan, then bragged about putting more into the NHS.  An unconvinced Keir railed total denial wouldn’t wash and due to 12 years’ inaction, weeks of chaos and Rishi’s changes, ordinary people had £1400 tax hikes.  Ducking queries on how much super- wealthy non-doms were expected to pay, Rishi said labour had years to sort it out, and while they peddled fairy tales and gesture politics, tories protected pensioners.  As the Guardian alleged Rishi registered with a private GP, Keir dug in; he’d scrap non-doms to fund doctors so they wouldn’t have to go private.  Rishi didn’t gainsay the claim until January 2023.  The Supreme Court ruling Scotland couldn’t hold an indy ref without Westminster consent, Ian Blackford maintained with a mandate to deliver a referendum, democracy couldn’t be denied and urged Rishi be honest and admit the idea of the UK union as voluntary, was dead and buried.  Now the time to stick together, Rishi respected the court’s decision.  Blackford countered, he couldn’t claim to respect the rule of law and deny democracy.  Quite! Was Scotland a colony?  Would they go to the European court?  Olivia Blake asked why an investigation into lives lost in The Channel took so long, adding it wouldn’t have happened if there were safe, legal routes.  Rishi inanely said every life lost was a tragedy which was why Swellen was tackling illegal migration (splutter!)

Woken early Thursday by machinery and Phil, I changed the HRT patch, got a hot flush, burps and nausea.  After ridding windows of ice-like moisture, I tried expunging mould caused by bathroom condensation with mixed results.  Shaking rugs out, a soft toy flew out the window.  Luckily, it was retrievable from behind the shed-house.  On QT, Andy Bunman advocated local control of skills and a personal approach to getting the inactive back to work.  Saying work must pay, Ben Habib (aka Asian Farage) blamed dependency culture and defended Truss as having the right idea on growth but was ‘defenestrated’ by The Treasury and BOE.  Citing the Avanti debacle, Bunman said performance had fallen off a cliff and agreed with Rapper Darren McGarvey who likened denouncing the RMT for destroying Christmas to spin on Scargill – it was a tory tactic to always blame workers.  The Scottish government allegedly considering making the rich to pay for NHS treatment, Bunman sought properly integrated health & social care and workforce plans to stop agency use and pay staff more.  Transport minister Richard Holden backed Rishi going private as he paid tax and could opt back into the NHS – that wasn’t the point!  Despite the chair of ACOBA Lord Pickles finding The Cock’s jungle jaunt broke regs (but disciplinary action ‘disproportionate’), they all thought his normality bid had won the public over – Bunman said The Cock wasn’t a bad guy but tories always put themselves first.

Going to the co-op Friday, I swapped updates on a neighbour’s community carers’ job with Phil’s work, over-sharing shop gossip.  Using a discount coupon from a leaflet posted through the door, I panicked at the till as a woman breathed down my neck.  After extensive research, Phil found the ideal freezer.  The search not working on my browser, he sent me a link, then it wouldn’t log me in.  Eventually buying the thing, my card was subsequently declined.  Satan’s Bank had changed the card so the expiry date was the same but the number different.  The microwave clock at zero revealing a power cut, Phil discovered the entire Halifax area was out for 2 hours early Saturday. “Broken Britain! I can’t believe gammons still don’t think tories are incompetent,” he observed. I countered: “They can’t really believe that anymore, but can’t admit they’re wrong and in denial, say it’s better than the coalition of chaos!”  Installing advent gubbins, I found a broken candle holder, then hoovered and disposed of recycling, needing to rest before visiting the unadvertised Christmas market – oddly on the same street as The Store, where Phil heard about it.  Seeing Counsellor Friend and partner, we joined them to peruse crap crafts and catch up.  I learnt her mum died last month (Phil knew and assuming I did, never mentioned it), they were buying a house in the next town and she was planning to top up her pension pot; I advised she didn’t.  We waved bye and munched greasy Serbian pies.  Past the lit tree in the square and up the pedestrian street, we spotted vacant seats outside The Pub.  While ordering, I observed changes since our last visit, pre-covid.  Tasty-looking nuts in jars replaced pies on the bar.  The servers said the butcher who used to make them, mysteriously stopped and asked if the Serbian ones were good – they weren’t keen on the lubricious aspect.  Supping ale, I remarked Counsellor Friend had progressed from being skint to house-buying while we seemed to go backwards.  Nothing personal intended, Phil got defensive.  I changed tack to muse over people either having no job or three, and the state of the world.  Dozy in the gloaming, we went home.

On Laura K Sunday, Jerk Berry concurred with Mark Harper’s ‘getting a grip’ drivel.  Hoping the RMT would get a letter Monday, Frances O’Grady welcomed the government’s altered tone, but railed against Broken Britain.  After the Barclay debacle, Pat Cullen repeated it was ‘negotiation or nothing’.  Prof Hannah Fry agreed problems went back much further than the war or covid.

Phil dreaded a 5-day week.  Covering for a colleague’s hospital appointment, he had a late followed by an early again,  Not ideal with shifts playing havoc with his body clock, I suggested eschewing more hours but as they forgot he’d volunteered for extra work, he hoped it was a one-off.  Trees emitting steam in the cold grey, I stayed in to be disturbed by noisy stone-cutting on the street below, unceasing till dark.  I placed an Ocado order and made granola bars. Chopping cranberries and nuts interminable, the stupid electronic scales kept turning off.  Exhausted with backache, I checked commemorative coin values to discover we actually had a Brexit 50p – sadly only worth 50p. thanks to the queen dying, Paddington was worth a bit more.  Despite a sunny Monday, there was more condensation to deal with.  Orange barriers blocking the small steps, explaining the stone-cutting, I took the longer way to the co-op.  Very busy for the time of day, a miserable woman shelf-stacking gave me a dirty look.  I asked her kinder colleague to pass me an item, grabbed clearance stuff and queued at the till.  Phil brought home 2 bagful’s of Milk Tray.  Sold to outlet staff for a charitable donation, he planned to eat them, I proposed giving them away – a compromise was made.  Accepting the idea of working Christmas and looking forward to a bonus Amazon voucher and mince pies, the manager who hadn’t had a day off for 6 weeks, understandably refused to open.  I put  his shift pattern on the calendar, and ordered Christmas gifts under his nose.  The next two days cold and foggy, Tuesday, it didn’t lift.  Just after I heard Phil going to work, the landline rang.  Drowsy, I vaguely realised it’d be the freezer.  At a loud door knock, I shouted and donned a dressing gown, badly.  Telling them they were early, the nice delivery men said someone had to be first.  I meant by 2 days, not 2 hours!  “Where do you want it?” They asked.  I indicated the kitchen steps: “Down here if you don’t mind,” “Ok.” “Thanks. The men who delivered our fridge wouldn’t take it down.” “Well, they weren’t as nice as us! You can give us a 5-star rating!!”  I forgot to do so.  Placing it exactly in the spot I’d cleared, unpacking was a doddle except removing the polystyrene stand.  I got an endorphin rush at the shiny smell.  Sad I know, but when did I last have anything brand new? 

When Phil returned, I asked did he notice anything?  “A freezer.” “Well, a box.” “You mean I don’t have to lug it down?” “No. Are you impressed?” “Yes, did you do it.” “Yes, ha, ha!”  He settled on the sofa with a groan. “You’re tired. Thought you were finishing at 2 didn’t you?” “Yep.” “I did wonder when you asked last night. How did the granola bar work out?” “Much easier at 6 in the morning.”  Siestas disturbed by chainsaws, I stuck earplugs in then they stopped!  Channel-hopping to avoid the match build-up, Phil asked: “What’s this crap?” Boycotting among the sportswashing lasting almost 1½ weeks, I relented to watch England beat Wales.  Dullness joined by nasty stuff falling out of the sky Wednesday 30th, Phil thought we were going to The City. “No way! It’s too horrid and I’m knackered from sorting the freezer.”  He played with polystyrene packaging and I repurposed it as makeshift insulation against the coldest walls.  Keir inexplicably led PMQs on private school donations and blocking new homes.  Rishi replied they were aspirational and wittered about labour joining picket lines.  Keir went on, every week, the PM handed money to those who didn’t need it, buckled under pressure, and got weaker.  Rishi countered he had the same old labour ideas, with more debt, strikes and migration, and was laughed at mentioning control of borders.  Ian Blackford wished all a happy St. Andrews Day and 56% polled by YouGov saying it was wrong to leave Europe, fumed about a bill to rip up EU laws racing through, labour trying to outrun tories on Brexit the bugbear of Scottish independence.

At 741, homeless deaths in 2021 reverted to pre-pandemic levels.  Immensa’s Wolverhampton lab incorrectly gave 39,000 negative covid results September/October 2021.  UKHSA estimated this led to an extra 55,000 infections, 680 hospitalisations and 23 deaths.  No immunity and toddlers good at spreading germs, kiddie flu rose 70%.  Parents were urged to get them nasal vaccines.  China’s zero-covid policy may have led to few fatalities and more growth (at least ‘til this year), but hampering rescues, 10 died in an Urumqi flat fire Thursday.  Demos across the country over the weekend, BBC cameraman Ed Lawrence was beaten and arrested during a clampdown Monday.  Chinese authorities said he didn’t show his press pass and it was for his own safety so he didn’t catch covid off the masses.  UK media described protestors as brave, unlike our own, who were nutters!  The Met assuring Londoners they were ready to deal with disruption in the yuletide run-up, Just Stop Oil marched round Trafalgar Square stopping commuters getting to the station.  German and English scientists grew a coronavirus in a lab to watch it mutate and American boffins made a universal flu vaccine to blunt the impact of future pandemics.  Lecanemab, a new early Alzheimer’s treatment, attacked beta amyloid (sticky gunge build-up in the brain).  Costing tens of thousands a pop, it was hailed as a momentous breakthrough.  Liam Smith was found shot and covered in acid in Shevington, Wigan.  Triggering a health alert, the GMP later told the public there was no risk.  Using the Vaccine Taskforce blueprint, Rishi announced £113m for 4 research ‘missions’: cancer, obesity, mental health and addiction.  He then told Mansion House he wished to develop the ‘quality and depth of partnerships with like-minded countries’ (USA, Israel, Gulf and Commonwealth states, but not the EU!)

Blast Furnace Blast

The Warm Homes Prescription Pilot launched December 2021, was extended for patients who got sicker in the cold.  Redcar blast furnace was blown up live on BBC Breakfast, making way for a freeport.  National Grid immediately cancelled blackout warnings.  RAC finding retailers not passing on lower petrol costs, Grant Shatts asked supermarkets to cheapen it.  Peter Smith of NEA was ‘disturbed’ utility direct debits went up when customers made huge efforts to reduce use.

E.On admitted it’d be a year ‘til economies were reflected in bills.  Food inflation now 12.4%, (14.3% for fresh food), 3 in 10 single parents skipped meals to feed their kids, 3 in 5 students cut back and Oxfam found 35% spent less on Christmas gifts.  Cheddar sales falling by £31m, Richard Clothier of Wyke Cheese was ‘extremely worried’.  A shortfall of 1m turkeys, 1,840 domestic chickens were abandoned – why not stick them in the freezer to roast?  Diggle Village Association defended spending £1,450 installing a tiny living firtree as it worked out cheaper than buying one a year.

GMB said few toilet breaks at Amazon’s new ‘fulfilment centre’ in Wakefield, caused stress to 1,000 workers.  No buyer found, Martin Wilkinson Jewellers in Mansfield, likely the oldest in the UK at 228, would shut.  According to Link, 114 HSBC branch closures made the total 600.  100 jobs lost and customers forsaken, Unite’s Dom Hook railed, without corporate social responsibility requiring banks to stay on the high street helping the elderly and vulnerable, access to cash and banking would be lost forever.  The union were disappointed ambulance staff at only 8 trusts voted to strike.  During the latest CWU action, Dave Ward claimed an out-of-depth Royal Mail CE Simon Thompson, not interested in providing a universal postal service, was destroying it.  8% of Avanti and 5.8% TPE trains cancelled on non-strike days, en route to see 5 northern mayors, Mark Harper harped on about modernisation and sorting out the row.  Mayors said the meeting was constructive but they needed investment, not warm words.  After 2 weeks of talks, the Rail Delivery Group said real progress was made.  Not hearing the desired proposals, the RMT announced four 48-hour strikes December-January plus overtime bans over the festive period.  Lynch blamed ‘the dead hand of government’ and The Sun headlined ‘The Lynch Who Stole Christmas’.  Lynch met Harper Thursday, who said there was ‘common ground’.  Scottish teachers and English lecturers walked out.  Formal negotiations ongoing in Scotland, Westminster rejected them, so the first 2 NHS strike days were announced as 15th & 20th December.  Bestfood (owned by Tesco and Booker) workers in Burger King, KFC, Pizza Hut, Wagamama, Zizzi and Pizza Express, were balloted.  National Coalmining Museum staff accepted a new pay offer, meaning no more strikes after one in October (another hidden dispute!)

Net migration a record ½m, more EU nationals left but 509,000 others included Ukrainians and Hongkongers on bespoke visas, and students.  Downing Street declined to give a timespan on reducing numbers.  After an inmate died in hospital, Manston processing centre was emptied and detainees moved to hotels across the country.  40,000 living in hotels, HO compulsorily moved others out.  PS Matt Rycroft couldn’t tell the home affairs select committee if paying Rwanda £140m was good value. Blaming migrants and traffickers, Swellen admitted they’d lost control of borders and vowed to make ‘sustainable changes’ with 3 decisions per worker per week by next year – currently 0.6 a week, it wasn’t feasible.  Unable to describe legal routes, she stammered that if you arrived in the UK you could apply for asylum.  Having to step in, Matt said people could apply to UNCHR but this option wasn’t available in all countries.  Coop spluttered that an out-of-depth Swellen didn’t even know her own policies.  Harem Ahmad Abwbaker was arrested for 27 channel drownings November 2021.  The Marine Accident Investigation Branch found they’d reached UK waters.  3 stowaways from Nigeria were discovered on a ship’s rudder in The Canaries.

After beating Argentina at the World Cup, Saudi Arabia declared a national holiday.  The favourites were out by the end of week.  About to play Japan, the German team covered their mouths to signify they’d been silenced.  Home-nation Qatar were eliminated, Iran were booed singing their national anthem, but after goalie Wayne Henderson got the first red card of the tournament, beat Wales.  World Cup chief Hassan al-Thawali estimated 500 workers died building stadia.  Officially 3, we’d never know the real figure.  Round-the-clock efforts reconnected 80% of Ukraine to essential water, electricity and heating.  Olena Zelenska got a standing ovation as she thanked the UK parliament for support and asked them to lead a special tribunal.  The EU wanted the UN to head the tribunal.  Stewart Rhodes of right-wing Oath Keepers was convicted of sedition for the Washington Capitol attack 6th Jan 2021.  A Walmart manager killed 7 colleagues and himself in Chesapeake, Florida.

Christine McVie of Fleetwood Mac and Wilko Johnson died, for real this time.  Irene Cara known for singing ‘I’m Gonna Live Forever’, didn’t.  In UK census results, only 41% of Leicesterians identified as white.  Christians a minority for the first time, more people had no religion, and an extra 1m were Moslem.  A fungi project found rare species in fields at The Crags.  A 3rd-5th century Roman villa complete with ash in the fireplace and mosaics depicting Homer’s Iliad, was unearthed in a Rutland field.  Resembling Toy Town on a bigger scale, York traders complained the St Nicholas fair took their business away.  We noted the Christmas market mark-up.  A car drove through Kake temptations’ window in Batley.  The driver really needed cake!

*Permacrisis – an extended period of instability and insecurity

**HMICFRS – His Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary and Fire & Rescue Services

References:

i. My Cool Places blog: Hepdene Rose | Cool Places – Our Back Yard (wordpress.com)

ii. Brexit Island: Brexit Island – Home | Facebook

Part 81 – Hell on Earth

“This is the playbook we see from them every crisis. Deny there’s a problem, fail to plan, blame the public, blame someone else, then call in the army. It’s utter incompetence” (Luke Pollard)

Land of Fire

Fractures

Both fatigued Monday I struggled with the mundane chores. Putting recycling out, I was stressed out at almost being trapped against the wall by an inconsiderate UPS deliverer.  Posting the journal took hours and gave me a headache, compounded by sudden blinding sunlight streaming through the windows on a blustery day.  I came up with a new technique to make editing subsequent chapters quicker.  Still sunny early evening, I considered going out to the garden but depressed at no sun on that side, I gave up the idea: a shame since the rest of the week was wet and grey.

66% of adults now double-jabbed, the UK was catching up with Canada, Chile, Singapore, Italy, Belgium, Ireland, Spain and Portugal (at 84%).  In a hellish conference week for Keir, Andy McDonald resigned very publicly from the shadow cabinet.  Fuelled by the petrol crisis, tube travel increased 7%, bus 2%, and rail 6%, where flexi-tickets further incentivised passengers.  Amidst a plethora of idiotic acts, motorists stockpiled petrol, filled plastic bottles and bags to sell on Facebook, vandalised cars to syphon tanks and fought on forecourts.  A cyclist taunted queueing drivers and a cavalcade at a shut garage in Wimbledon created gridlock.  Care workers called for priority access to available stocks.  A mini tornado ripped through Thorngumbald and Humberston in East Yorkshire while an earthquake near Heraklion killed 1 and injured 20 in Crete.

Discussing fuel issues on Newsnight, Richard Walker said the temp visas effective from mid-October would make little difference.  As he mentioned voting for Brexit, I went off him.  Phil said “some nice people voted leave.” “Hmm!”  Michel Barnier promoted his long-awaited Secret Brexit Diaries in an interview.  Repeatedly wishing the UK well, he said we must face the consequences of leaving but the EU were ready to find solutions within the NI protocol framework (not outside of it); the conditions of which should be ‘no surprise’ as “Boris knew what he signed.”  He obviously didn’t!  Ahead of running for President, he called for a French referendum on immigration to ‘regain legal sovereignty’ on key issues, but maintained free movement within the EU wasn’t  at stake.

The headache returned Tuesday morning. I must have looked pained as Phil asked what was up. “It’s hard today” “I’ll have to shoot you.” “That’s helpful!” “What can I do?” “Be nice for a start!”  Rain arrived just in time for a trip to the co-op with the usual gaps on shelves  and nothing in the reduced section.

Boris met Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice, promising they’d have a role in the public inquiry and to appoint a chair by Christmas.  He also endorsed the memorial wall opposite parliament as a permanent national emblem.  The petrol situation improved slightly but pumps still under 50% full, the MOD approved ‘Operation Escalin’, putting the army on standby to step in for HGV drivers.  Phil pointed out they were all TAs so probably worked as drivers anyway.  BOE boss Andy Bailey derided comments about a lack of wind affecting the supply chain: “when is the plague of locusts due?” Luke Pollard said it illustrated the incompetence of the government.  South Eastern was stripped of its franchise and effectively nationalised, even though it paid back £25m of undeclared taxpayers money.  Aldi announced 100 new stores creating 2,000 jobs.  53 Insulate Britain protesters were released from custody despite the injunction.

Late telly-watching led to a bad night.  Unable to sleep, I looked out the window to see blazing lights.  Sifting through a jumble of stuff whizzing round my mind, concluded I was fed up with the mundanity of life but was devoid of ideas on how to change it.  I eventually dropped off to the meditation soundtrack.

Fire And Brimstone

Chasing Ducks

Feeling unrested Wednesday, I hoped Phil’s weekend hoovering would make cleaning the living room quick.  Sadly not.  On a showery afternoon, I went to town via the street below to avoid a crane at the mill development straddling our street.  German Friend stood on her doorstep and told me she’d taken tests to ensure her cold symptoms weren’t covid.  Prevaricating about going to work, I advised she look after herself.  After errands, I loitered at the wavy steps to be chased by ducks, mistaking the rustle of plastic bags for bread.  I escaped through the carpark and along to the new bridge.  New Gran sheltered under an awning of the corner pub, with her daughter and grandson.  The only drinkers outside, I called: “hello diehards!”  We chatted over the wall about the baby’s fulsome barnet, him being taken to gigs and mum’s graduation in Liverpool.  I’d arranged to meet Phil at the café and noticed he’d appeared on the other side of the busy main road, tricky to navigate.  Going in the café, I wore a mask; nobody else did.  Surprisingly busy, I wondered why they’d asked him to go at that time to take some prints away.  We retreated to the back until the owner returned from an errand.  He paid Phil for 2 sold pictures (at least 1 was Leeds-themed, belying the critics), dithered over which ones he wanted removed then decided they could all stay until the end of October.  “That was an easy work!” Phil giggled.  “Yes. I expected to be there at least long enough to take my anorak off. I even put a clean top on!” “Me too!”

Institute for Public Policy North found 3 times more deaths in the North East compared to the least-affected South East, since lockdown ended 19th July.  Blaming poor working and living conditions, the rift between north and south was stark.  Fended off hecklers by saying he usually got heckled by tories at PMQs on a Wednesday, Keir gave his first live keynote speech since becoming leader to mock The Bumbler: “we have a fuel crisis, a pay crisis, a goods crisis and a cost of living crisis all at the same time. Level up? You cannot even fuel up.”  He thought Boris wasn’t a bad man but a trivial showman, “a trickster who has performed his one trick.” i.e., Brexit.  He could have added Boris wanted to be PM for the sake of it: once he got the job, he had no idea it would involve actual work.  Not staying to sing the traditional Red Flag at the end of conference, we recalled it was banned under Blair.  Would the two side of the party ever be reconciled?  Might the die-hard lefties split and effectively leave a social democratic party of Nouveau Guardianistas?  Did someone say Gang of Four?

After bathing Thursday, I tried to remove a nail shard from my big toe, in the exact spot where a chiropodist had cut it too short 3 years ago,  I never returned after that.  I worked on the journal and went to the market in the cold rain.  Jolly veg man had price labels up, so over-charging was less likely.  In the afternoon, I started editing holiday notes for Cool Places 2, became knackered and lay down.  Characteristically unable to relax, at least I got warm in bed.  Phil re-surfaced sooner than normal, not snoozing for once.  “You’re lucky you can sleep in the afternoon.” “Not when I’m collapsing with fatigue.” “Makes no difference to me!”

On the last day of the furlough scheme, almost 1 million workers were still on it.  Heartless tory git Simon Clarke said job losses were ‘a part of the process’ of support ending.  Amidst mounting criticism of the Universal Credit cut, government announced a £500 million Household Support Fund, enabling councils to give grants to needy families.  Therese Coffee-cup said it would help meet “essential costs as we push through the last stages of our recovery from the pandemic.”  Rishi Rich surfaced in Selby to say it’d ‘make a real difference’.  But Helen Barnard of the Joseph Rowntree Foundation countered it didn’t come close “to meeting the scale of the challenge facing millions of families on low incomes as a cost of living crisis looms and our social security system is cut down to inadequate levels…(admitting) families will need to apply for emergency grants to meet the cost of basics like food and heating through winter, it’s clear the chancellor knows the damage (it) will cause.”  At Wayne Couzen’s 2-day sentencing hearing, gory details of Sarah Everard’s murder were summarised in court as: ‘deception, kidnap, rape, strangulation and fire’.  He was given a whole life sentence and would die in jail (and hopefully burn in hell if there was one).  Kate Wilson won her human rights case against the Met for being duped into a relationship with undercover cop Mark Kennedy aka Stone.

After 3 more unheard-of energy companies went bust, a reserve fleet of tankers headed to Yorkshire where petrol shortages were worst.  No surprise as 10% of the UK’s pollutants emanated from the county.  Rabid Raab suggested using ex-cons.  Now, what could go wrong there?  On Question Time, Useless George denied ‘turbulence in the supply chain’ was anything to do with Brexit, saying fuel demand up 50% last weekend, was now improving.  Karan Bilimaria of Cobra beer ‘felt sick’ by the shortages and said the government wouldn’t listen to the immigration advisory board or CBI months ago.  Ella Whelan, Spiked magazine, said there were long-standing problems of HGV drivers sleeping in cabs and peeing on the roadside.  Flight attendant-turned-reality star Amy Hart referred to short-term visas as unfair: “You can’t treat people that way.”  Useless said it would ensure driver capacity for the busy Christmas period, as too would 5,500 poultry workers.  Referring to the Couzens trial, Wes Streeting said changing the police culture of ‘letting things go’ needed action not words.  Amid renewed calls for Caressa Dick to resign, ex inspector Zoe Billingham was asked on BBC Breakfast next day why misogynists were allowed in the force to form WhatsApp groups and jokingly call colleagues ‘rapists’?  She maintained it was a small minority and she’d been working on it for 9 years.  It shouldn’t happen at all, you useless Coffee-cupper!  Met advice to women approached by lone officers such as flagging down a bus, running to a house or dialling 999 were lambasted as ‘derisory’.  North Yorks PCC Philip Allot advised women to be more streetwise about powers of arrest.  Flabbergasted by the insulting comments, we wondered how anybody was meant to know what the Coronavirus Laws were when Sarah Everard was kidnapped during the first lockdown.  Not even the police did, and arguably still didn’t!  Subsequent retraction of the comments didn’t stop Keir wanting Allot to resign or York MP Rachel Maskell calling his position ‘untenable’.

Tierra Del Fuego

Hell Heron

Friday still showery, at least we didn’t get a deluge like in other places.  Heavy rain caused flooding in Greater Manchester, commuter issues in London and delayed installation of a temporary TV mast in North Yorkshire.  More gales over the weekend prompted yellow warnings.  I did some writing and went to the co-op.  Phil caught me up in the last aisle to guffaw at ‘dots’ aka micro-doughnuts and empty freezer shelves.

We investigated recent dinosaur discoveries.  A week after a 165 million year old new Ankylosaur was found in Morocco, evidence of two more dinosaurs emerged on the Isle of Wight.  The 125 million year old carnivorous Riparovenator minerae and Ceratosuchops inferodios aka ‘Hell Heron’ attacked visitors, according to The Sun.  We wondered why on earth anyone would go there back then as an artist’s impression depicted the holiday hotspot as hell on earth.

New covid cases up 18% week on week, the sharpest rise in 11-15 year olds returning to school, rates were still lower than the second wave in January.  12 hours before the Scottish Covid Pass went live, the app was launched.  People complained of system errors but Sturgeon stuck to her guns and cited the 2-week grace period during which there’d be no prosecutions.  ONS figures showed economic growth 5.5% April to June, but only 0.1% in July.  Expectations for August were revised down to 2.1% because of supply chain problems.  H&M profits tripled, Boohoo sales increased 20%, the energy price cap went up and Virgin Money shut 31 branches as more people banked online during the pandemic.  Australia would lift the 18-month travel ban sometime in November when 80% of Aussies over 16 were fully vaccinated.  Qantas to start flights from Sydney to London and Los Angeles 14th November, no date was given for when we’d be welcome.

No improvement in the weekend weather, I stayed in Saturday and used a surplus of oats to make goodies.  Taking miles longer to bake than the recipes indicated, the cookies had soggy bottoms and the flapjacks were too sticky to remove from the tin.  “This is why I’m not a patisserie chef!“  Cold overnight, I slept badly and spent a fatigued Sunday draft-posting the journal, writing a haigai and posting ‘Views over Sands’ on Cool Places 2ii.  Phil registered for more gig work on ‘click jobs’ which sounded hilariously like ‘clickbait’.  Declaring it time, I fetched bedspreads out of storage for a toastier sleep.

In the South East, another injunction was granted to stop Insulate Britain protestors blocking major roads.  Petrol shortages now worse than Yorkshire, the army started deliveries from Hemel Hempstead while Watford Town went north to be beaten by Leeds United 1-0 (their first win of the season).  At the start of the tory party conference, Boris went to a Manchester gym sporting ridiculous boxing gloves emblazoned with ‘build back better’.  They’d had almost a decade to do that!  Setting the bar high (not), he told Andrew Marr Christmas would be better than last year.  The Bunman said The Glove-puppet was good for ‘levelling up’ as he got things done like with education.  Eh?  He made a right mess of that!  IDS wanted the cut to Universal Credit delayed but Gordy Brown wanted it scrapped, citing a report by York university on how it affected families.  The Joseph Rowntree Foundation found Bradford West hardest hit with 81% on the benefit.  Encouraged by the conviction of Wayne Couzens, a woman came forward to accuse a fellow Met officer of rape.  David Carrick strenuously denied all charges.  New fissures in the Cumbre Vieja volcano sent fresh rivers of fire across La Palma.  Maybe they should rename it Tierra Del Fuego.

Haiga – Barbed

References:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

ii. My Cool Place 2 blog: https://wordpress.com/posts/hepdenerose2.wordpress.com

Part 73 – Web of Deceit

“The Prime Minister is the master of untruths and half-truths…it’s the person who’s not telling the truth rather than the person calling it out that ought to be on the hotspot” (Keir Starmer)

Lies and Gimmicks

Haiga – Bounty Hunter i

Aches and pains made exercising difficult Monday morning.  Phil also struggled with bad eyes.  Now into a second week, internet issues made blog-posting slow.  I utilised the fine weather before rain arrived, hanging out washing and applying a final coat of paint on the wooden planter, and joked with The Decorator about builders sitting around drinking tea all day.  Afternoon rest disturbed by noisy kids at the start of the summer break, I tried sleeping early that night.  I was just putting my book down when a mosquito buzzed round my head.  No doubt trying to escape the downpour.  Torrential in the south, flooding of Whipps Cross hospital’s cellar led to loss of power and a state of emergency.  We were warned of heavier thunderstorms coming north.

New covid cases down for the sixth day in a row, it was the first time there’d been a drop without lockdown.  Pundits speculated Boris’ gamble had paid off while Mike Tildesley of SPI-M put it down to school holidays.  He predicted it’d be 2 weeks until Freedom Day impacted on hospital admissions yet Prof. Adam Finn said of 200 in Bristol hospitals, the average age was 40 with many under 30’s seriously ill.  Simon Stevens joined others to write about pressure on the NHS.  Other theories for less infections included the end of Euro 2020, warmer weather, viral evolution, increased immunity and ditching of the TIT app.  Millions pinged to self-isolate, some called it ‘lockdown by stealth’.  While train operators reduced services, Cabinet’s covid operations committee met to add 13 industries to the exemption list.  2,000 new testing sites were promised so workers could continue working; 500 within the week.  Rules in Northern Ireland relaxed to allow 15 people to meet outdoors and close contact services.  Ireland permitted indoor dining for those who’d had 2 jabs or covid within the last 6 months.   It emerged that France became ‘amber plus’ due to a rise in the Beta variant in La Réunion thousands of miles away from the mainland.  Rabid Raab defended the decision based on ease of travel from the island.  As 160,000 demonstrated about restrictions, Mini Macron said they couldn’t wish the virus away.  A 10 litre limit on buying take-away fuel meant to stop dinghies crossing the channel, had little effect.  The Police Federation called Nasty Patel’s announcement of a pay freeze ‘the final straw’ and voted no confidence in her.  Brazilians demanded the impeachment of Bolsonaro over his covid denial and corruption.  Coronavirus was found in British horseshoe bats.  RhGB01 possibly existed for millennia but was only discovered by specific testing.  In support of Dawn Butler, Keir told the media Boris was a ‘master of untruths and half-truths’.

Delighted to find fruit and salad veg in the co-op on Tuesday, I returned home singing: “yes, we do have bananas, tomatoes and lettuces too!”  Getting cleaned up, I saw a flashing orange light outside.  I stood safely on the stairs as Phil answered the door.  The BT engineer wanted to check all our equipment again, even though it was all replaced last Friday.  We agreed as long as he put a mask on, but repeated the issue couldn’t be in the house and affected the whole area.  He admitted he’d come from a nearby household but claimed it turned out to be a spider in the connection box.  Obviously it was trying to get on the web!

He fiddled with wires, replaced the only remaining old part (a splitter for the phone and router wires) and took readings which confirmed the signal had been dropping since 14th July.  Saying he was going to check outside, Phil asked “what about the exchange?”  “I’m going there now,” he replied, before going to sit in his white van.  Our belief he was telling fibs and didn’t go at all was confirmed later in the week.  I collected up spares and added them to a pile Bright Sparks engineers dumped in the recycling last Friday.  Wiping all the touch points, I hovered to do the outside doorknob, considering it impolite with the engineer still sat there.  “You think he’s got covid hands,” giggled Phil.  “No, but it doesn’t do any harm.”

Several insect bites really started to itch.  Not sure if they were from midges or the pesky mosquito, I used antihistamine and after-bite before trying to rest.  Phil received a message early evening claiming the internet was fixed.  Due to all the new kit, when it worked, it was super-fast, but alas, it still bombed every few minutes.  What a web of lies!

Weekly infections down (20% in Yorkshire) but hospitalisations up 33% and the highest daily rise in deaths since March, medics warned the third wave wasn’t over.  However, Prof. Ferguson said the worst of the pandemic would be gone by October.  The US travel ban continued for the UK and Schengen countries.  Kit Malthouse called it disappointing but not surprising.  After face-licking in heaven last week, party-loving journo Benjamin Button came on Jeremey Vine to perversely say he’d wear a mask in shops and tubes.  The IMF now expected UK output to grow 7%, mainly because it had fallen back so much. Unison and the BMA began consulting on the 3% NHS pay rise while the RCN planned summer demos for ‘fair pay’.

Boris unveiled the Beating Crime Plan which entailed permanent relaxation of stop & search conditions, response time league tables, named officers for communities and chain gangs of anti-social citizens in fluorescent jackets ‘visibly paying their debt to society’.  On Newsnight the previous evening, Nick Thomas-Symonds dismissed the daft ideas as more gimmicks and slogans, saying the 20,000 promised new recruits only replaced coppers lost since 2010.  He added that the Tories had decimated neighbourhood policing and swept away supporting apparatus such as youth clubs while voting against a bill to increase sentences for rapists which showed they weren’t ‘tough on crime or the causes of crime’ at all.

Mounds and Piles

Marble Arch Mound

An insect bite on my leg particularly itchy Wednesday, I took more antihistamine and applied cream and a plaster to stop me scratching it.  It was 4 days until they stopped being troublesome.  Phil started a live chat with Talk-Talk straight after breakfast and spent the day moving hither and thither fiddling with wires without telling me what was going on.  He gave me a jolt more than once suddenly coming up behind as I got on with vacuuming.  Fraught, I collapsed with coffee before computer work, succeeding in posting a blog on Cool Places 2ii and re-plugged the back-up drive into the router to copy files from the past fortnight.  The afternoon siesta was interrupted by a teeming thunderstorm, music blaring from neighbours’ cars, screeching geese and screaming kids.  At the end of the day, Talk-Talk suggested replacing the router again.  “It’s 5 days old!“ I exclaimed.  Phil sent them a 2,000 word précis of events so far.

2,848 new covid cases since start the of Shonkyo 2020, the city’s total was over 200,000.  Avoiding the lame games shown from early morning, we watched Good Morning Britain (GMB).  A minister claiming the pandemic ‘over bar the shouting’ and The Glove-Puppet calling the unvaccinated ‘selfish’, Therese Coffee-Cup spouted a pile of waffle.  Evading questions on the end to the UC uplift, she prated about getting disabled people into jobs. Good luck with that, you vacuous waste of space!  Ex-PM Turnbull said Australia’s vaccination programme was a ‘complete fail’, having only reached 16% of the population.  Later in the week, Sydney entered another month of lockdown.  3,000 crossed the channel in July; a monthly record.  RNLI boss Mark Dowie videoed crews being abused as they rescued drowning migrants.  In one instance, a mob shouted ‘go back to France’.  As Mr. Dowie called it ‘vital humanitarian work’, Nasty Nigel Farage said they provided a taxi service.  The following day, donations and volunteer vacancy searches on the charity’s website soared.  Yvette Coop subsequently revealed ‘shocking conditions’ at the Kent Intake Unit where new arrivals endured inhumane overcrowding and the risk of infection.  Newmarket council voted ‘no confidence’ in the local MP aka The Cock.  NHS England saw sense, appointing Amanda Pritchard as the new CE rather than Dildo or Jo Amazon.  Sheffield Forgemasters was effectively nationalised when the MOD bought it.  The Gwynedd slate landscape filled the gap left by Liverpool on the UNESCO world heritage list, causing concern over house prices, too many tourists and second-homers.

On a cold, grey, windy Thursday, I worked on my novel for the first time in three months until head fug set in.  I contemplated doing art but uninspired, I hunted for loose change instead and counted £40 into bank bags.  Phil again on to Talk-Talk all day, they unbelievably tried to charge him for the engineer visits.  After lodging a complaint, the issue was escalated to the section manager at long last.  I suggested Ofcom if it still didn’t get sorted but Phil said they were useless.  “Threaten to set Watchdog on them. It’s worked for me before.”  They eventually officially informed us the problem originated at the exchange.  We’d been telling them that from the start!  Saying it could be fixed Saturday, we didn’t hold our breath.  Just as well, seeing as that was yet another lie to add to the pile.  On asking why the process was so shit, Phil said every call was treated as a new case and he got caught up in a never-ending loop.  What a stupid system!  If a problem wasn’t solved first time In future, he vowed to go straight to complaints.

Cases and deaths up a second day running, 689,313 were pinged in the past week.  260 testing centres for ‘critical workers’ opened.  After announcing that arrivals from the US and EU (except France) wouldn’t have to quarantine from 2nd August as long as they were double-jabbed and took PCR tests, Rabid Raab came on GMB to call it a ‘smart and sensible’ move.  Scotland and Wales followed suit, the latter ‘with regret’.  International cruises also allowed, where on earth could they berth?  While testing was required of arrivals, it wasn’t for ‘ping and release’.  I agreed with Christina Pagel that it made no sense; the vaccinated could still infect others with variants.  ONS reported 86% of 35-54 year olds and only 75% of 18-34 year olds, stuck to isolation rules.  Yet while the daily number of first and second jabs had gone up for the first time in ages, the under 30’s remained reluctant.  A Pop-up at Thorpe Park to jab the young seemed mad.  What if they were sick on the coronacoaster?  The first batch of vaccines promised to poorer countries dispatched, Raab predicted the whole world immunised by mid-2022.  The WHO expected it would be the end of next year.  Who to believe?  Experts or a self-serving tory?  Flooding deposited mounds of mud in Lake Como villages, leaving people homeless and Storm Evert landed in South West England.  The government pledged £860m for flood defences. I’d said they’d cough up if London and the south was hit.  According to Look North, our valley would get some of it.  Newsnight reported on extreme weather across the globe.  We were bemused by a climate change expert referring to ‘rain heavy storm rain’ and Allegra Stratton (now apparently Boris’ spokesperson on the issue), spouting a mound of guff on targets.

Storm Evert brought more rain our way Friday.  Feeling depressed, I moped about before working on the journal and going to the co-op.  Phil caught up at the till to help carry and unpack.  Avoiding streaming issues,, we spent the evening watching Bladerunner 1 & 2 on DVD, appreciating the awesomeness anew.  After drinking all the wine, we went to bed late and suffered the next day.

Infections continued to rise across the UK, except Scotland, but new cases fell.  Uncle Joe announced payments of $100 to encourage more vaccinations, which could be mandatory for US government roles.  Big companies following suit included Google, Facebook and Netflix.  Rabid Raab thought it ‘a good idea’ for UK employers to do likewise but lawyers warned of a legal minefield and union GMB expressed concern mandatory jabs might become a substitute for covid-safe practices.  A decision on whether students needed to be immunised before returning to campus wouldn’t be made until September.  Leeds dairy Arla envisaged milk supply disruption over the summer if the HGV driver shortage wasn’t addressed.  Derided as a pile of crap, Marble Arch Mound closed after 2 days.  Westminster council obviously off their heads commissioning the ludicrous tourist attraction, it would have been better to recreate Tyburn Prison complete with gibbet and hold weekly lotteries to determine which lying politician to hang.

Steampunk Weekend

Steampunks Posing

Taking it slow on Saturday, I pottered about and cooked, trying to ignore terrible music from outside and drunks staggering about in the early hours.  I doubted the Steampunks here for the weekend would be so uncouth.  The Internet predicably not fixed, Phil couldn’t even contact Talk-Talk.  The evening’s old DVD selection comprised of another escapist double bill – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 & 2.

In the house for days on end, we ventured out Sunday to have a gander at the shenanigans.  I headed out first, via the knobbly veg stall, wandered around the rest of the market and loitered in the square.  Taking surreptitious photos of elderly people in fancy dress proved hard as they were total posers who could spot a camera at 50 feet.  When he arrived, Phil advised a more brazen approach.  We bumped into a couple we’re friends with and compared observations on the internet palaver and Steampunks.  She agreed some looked like Quality Street soldiers, others more Jane Austen than Victorian and what did Captain America have to do with it?  Wondering why they came when there wasn’t anything specific to attract them (for instance films, of which there were several), Phil said it was like mods in the olden days – parading up and down to be seen.  We escaped to the park for a touch of normality.  I rested on a bench while Phil answered a call from Talk-Talk.  They assured him there’d be no charge for the engineer visits and the problem at the exchange was ‘being worked on’.  Strolling in the rather quiet park, butterflies and bees flitted among teasels and wildflowers, a small group chatted beside a Valley Pride banner and a few kids inhabited the skateboard park.  None were brave enough to emulate Charlotte Worthington’s ground-breaking Olympic BMX tricks which were definitely more impressive than the sad horse event we’d caught a glimpse of.  As riders galloped around, pedestrians wandered the course taking phone snaps.  Truly Shonkyo!

References:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

ii. Cool Places 2: https://wordpress.com/posts/hepdenerose2.wordpress.com

Part 69 – Winds of Change

“Every game, no matter the opposition, has the potential to create a lifelong memory for an England fan somewhere” (Gareth Southgate)

Sterling Summer

Starry Rotten Apple

Wobbly Monday morning, I could hardly lift my heavy limbs off the bed or focus my eyes.  I craved more sleep but nature called.  After crawling over the bed to open curtains, I looked upon grey mizzle and succumbed to the chronic fatigue – only for a couple of days this time.  I worked on the laptop until my eyes became blurry again and managed a few small chores with Phil’s help, legs aching as I ascended back upstairs.  After applying weeks ago, DVLA sent  a reminder to renew my license, a day before it arrived.  The ugly thing sported the old photo off my passport, a lurid union jack and mysterious symbols which Phil had to interpret.  But the hologram was clever.  Railing against coffee-cupper incompetence, I later discovered there were issues with unsafe covid practices and strikes at the Swansea office.

Needing extra veg to accompany leftover wartime roast for dinner, I was still wary of using the microwave even though Phil declared it fine.  Thinking a pile of tins on top made it overheat, he temporarily removed them.  They needed a better home but there was nowhere else to put them.  In the footie, Switzerland scored a stonking late goal.  The match went to extra time and penalties where they beat France 5-4.  Mbappe missing the last one, I observed they had some great players but a lot of prima donnas and didn’t play as a team.  A bit too exciting for that time of night, I went back to bed and watched boring Newsnight.  I fell asleep quickly but woke a couple of hours later to lie in a stupor sweating cobs.

PHE reckoned vaccines saved 27,000 lives and prevented 7m infections.  Prof. Matthew Snape of Oxford Uni and chief investigator in the Com-Cov trial found mixing AZ and Pfizer jabs gave a robust immune response.  In his first statement to The House as health sec, Goblin Saj said they were on course to lift restrictions by 19th July; it wasn’t the end of the line, but the start of an exciting new journey, no date came with no risk and we must learn to live with the virus.  The Bumbler went to Batley to idiotically pose in hi-viz and hard hat and claim credit for Cock’s resignation: “that’s why when I saw the story on Friday we had a new secretary of state in on Saturday.”   Downing Street officials contradicted his version of events saying he accepted Cock’s resignation after Saturday’s discussions.  Did he ever stop lying?  Angela Rayner said there were serious unanswered questions.  “A fish rots from the head down. And by failing to sack the former health secretary, Johnson proved he doesn’t have the leadership qualities or judgement required to be prime minister.”  As the PM denied ministers used private e-mails for official business, she brandished print-outs of the messages.  Amid concerns of the Delta variant, Portugal, Spain, Malta and Hong Kong imposed new restrictions on UK tourists.  A 14 day quarantine for Portugal except Madeira, was effective immediately,.   From Wednesday, Malta would only accept fully-vaccinated travellers and negative PCR test were needed to get into The Balearics, the same day they’d be added to the green list.  Hong Kong put the UK on a ‘very high risk’ list.  All direct flights were banned from Thursday as well as arrivals except residents and relatives.

Still mostly abed on a warm, sunny Tuesday, I ventured downstairs to watch the big telly at 5.  I felt more nervous than excited as along with 20 million fellow-viewers, we saw England face Germany.  In a goalless first half, 2 yellow cards were issued including to Kalvin Philips.  “He loves a tackle,” observed the commentator.  “Yes, that’s why he plays for Leeds!” I quipped.  Sterling broke the duck well into the second half, Muller missed by miles, then Kane came to life to clinch a 2-0 victory.  Boris watched the game with Carrie and moronically cheered then asked: ‘was that a goal?  Stick to rugger, posh boy!  Cue memes of him watching the Cock snog and ‘hands, face, bum’ captions.  In the post-match interview, Gareth Southgate was pleased they gave to joy to the nation but said it was all for nothing if they didn’t win the next games.  No it wasn’t!  You beat Germany!  The rollercoaster over, we both admitted thinking England would win but didn’t want to jinx it.  After all, they were a great team, Germany weren’t anymore and it was at Wembley.  Rome next for a quarter final against Ukraine (who beat Sweden in extra time), fans were warned not to travel – a 5-day quarantine meant they wouldn’t be free until Sunday.

After making crumble on Saturday, a few decaying apples remained.  I cut into them to see if any parts were edible to find one made an arty rotten star.  At half-time, I flung pieces from the doorstep for the crows.  One landed appropriately on the Christmas tree.  Enjoying the feel of a summer’s eve, I sat on the bench a while to absorb Vitamin D.  On going back inside, a sudden cold draft and distant thunder suggested storms a-coming. “Winds of change!” intoned Phil.  I was very sleepy after being up so long and hoped it augured well.  However, it took some time to drop off, and I again woke hot and sweaty in the night.

Gen Sir Nick Carter testing positive, other top commanders and Ben Wally self-isolated.  Cases rose in Scotland and they lifted the travel ban to the North West, after reviewing data and talking.  There’d been no deaths in Wales for a week.   With 5.1% of pupils absent, Goblin Saj looked at replacing bubbles with daily testing in schools.  The Salesman subsequently announced bubbles would be scrapped at the end of the summer term, coinciding with stage 4 of the roadmap.  Prof Finn claimed kids didn’t get ill much.  Yes, but they could still pass it on!  john Edmunds said recommending vaccines for kids needed careful consideration.  The Salesman also suggested ways to increase discipline such as banning mobile phones in classrooms.  Hockridge denied harassing Nick Watt because ‘traitor’ wasn’t an abusive term and accused the BBC of spreading fear and lies.  Australia imposed lockdowns on Sydney, Darwin, Perth and Brisbane.  Blame fell on the Delta variant leaking from poor air circulation in quarantine hotels and ‘weak border spots’ allowing workers to travel.  FRC* investigated Saffrey Champness and PWC audits of Greensill Capital and Weylands Bank.  The queen’s platinum jubilee do was billed as a ‘reopening ceremony for the UK’.  Bands, street theatre, circus acts and puppets would clog central London.

Head Wind

Bad Spelling

Feeling heavy again Wednesday morning, I crawled across the bed to open the curtains and slumped back down.  Another lovely day, I opened the window and tried not to be depressed at missing out, especially as we’d planned a rare daytrip by train.  We shared a laugh at Beverley Swivel-head arguing with Nina Guardian on Jeremy Vine.  Banging on about ivermectin, she claimed the anti-parasitic drug cured covid and referred to YouTube guidelines – because that was the best source of medical knowledge obs!

Phil worked downstairs while I sat on the bed rather than in it, worked on the journal and watched  PMQs.  Keir asked why The Bumbler hadn’t sacked The Cock immediately.  He replied there was a new health sec by Saturday.  Repeating this fact 4 times, he missed the point – it wasn’t about moving fast but taking the lead.  What did you have to do to get sacked?  Keir called it a ridiculous answer and persisted: did you sack The Cock or ask him to resign?  Boris deflected by saying Keir had fired and re-hired his own deputy.  Keir pressed the PM on Matt’s girlfriend also being his aide; according to his own guidance, he should challenge such obvious conflicts of interest.  Boris blathered.  Keir proceeding to reference people who’d died, Boris totally dismissed the question, saying he was concentrating on vaccines not the ‘Westminster Bubble’.  Was that the bubble he lived in?  Viewing sleaze as a ‘bubble story’ again showed what a bunch of hypocrites they were!  Keir suggested he retract the totally inappropriate response and asked him if he quizzed The Cock on breaking other rules.  Again getting no answer, he concluded ‘no questions asked Friday, no questions answered today’ and observed a pattern: Boris backed The Scumbag, The Jerk, Nasty Patel and now The Cock, reinforcing the message it was ‘one rule for them, another for everybody else’.

In the afternoon I sorted a backlog of phone photos.  Saved to umpteen locations, I connected it to the laptop to view folders which inevitably entailed a software update. Before dinner, Phil remarked “It’s nice out. I might go for a walk.”  Tempted, I rallied to join him for an evening stroll.  Spotting Walking Friend and her companion drinking at the corner pub, we chatted from the other side of the wall about my bright pink cardi, their hike to interesting stones further afield and mutual acquaintances. A fellow participant in the research project, he’d never set eyes on the researcher even though they lived in the same village.  We crossed to the canal and were accosted by a woman on the tea barge.  “Where did you get that colour?”  Thinking she meant the lurid cardi, she indicated my recently refreshed orange hair.  We proceeded into the park.  Teasels framed the football pitch where small groups of teenagers socialised.  Bright blooms sprouted from wildflower patches.  Badly-spelled graffiti raised a chuckle.  Over the lock bridge, we were hailed by drunkards.  Realising we knew them from pub days of yore, Phil joked “It’s the new local!”  Passing the co-op carpark, we ran into an ex-neighbour.  Now only living 5 minutes away, it was strange how little we saw her.  “You never know, maybe we’ll see each other in Corfu. Do you remember?” she asked.  I did indeed recall the encounter several years ago but doubted it would happen again in the near future.  Back home, I headed straight to the kitchen to make soup.  Annoyed at the lack of help, I told Phil: “I’m never doing an evening walk again, getting home knackered and hungry, if I get no help with dinner.”  “Sorry.”

A ‘levelling up’ survey revealed schools in deprived areas lost money to the better-off.  Deaths from covid 25% higher in Manchester, local health leaders said the wider issues of education, deprivation and housing needed to be addressed in childhood.  Overseas business leaders from amber list countries no longer had to go to quarantine hotels but had to isolate when not dealing.  Hospital cases rose to 1,525 with 245 on ventilators.  Still lots lower than the second peak in January, a PM spokesman told us the rise was expected and prepared for but Stephen Reicher warned of repeating last summer’s mistakes when the government suggested it was our patriotic duty to go to work and the pub.  If infections never got low enough to deal with later spikes, there’d be more lockdowns in autumn and a dismal winter: ”vaccination has made a huge difference, but the danger is, if we overstate it, and we over-rely on it…we undermine its good effects…so it’s belt and braces…it doesn’t mean you forget about everything else.”  He wanted more support for people self-isolating, improved ventilation and public health measures and a faster TIT system.  JCVI still not yet clear if it was necessary, early plans for autumn boosters were revealed: Stage 1 – the elderly, vulnerable, NHS and care staff (given with the flu jab). Stage 2 – over 50’s and over 18’s ‘at risk’.  The Counter Terrorism Operations Centre opened in West London.  The 328ft, 28 storey HQ was a revamp of the 1962 Empress State Building, complete with revolving restaurant.  Newsnight featured conspiracy theorist telegram groups, letting them air their cretinous views that coronavirus was a nefarious plot to implant us with tiny chips and de-populate the planet.  I failed to see the point of the package.

Stormy Thursday

The Wurst is Not Over

Better on Thursday, I did a few exercises and fetched brekkie.  Phil helped change the bed and left me to hoover until I got hot and tired.  I took the laptop down to work in the living room, hung sheets on the line and headed out.  The elderly woman, not distraught today, shouted down the street “lovely article!” referring to Valley Life which landed on doorsteps that morning.  Thanking her, I briefly told her about the picnic kerfuffle and hurried onto the market.  Town busy, shopping entailed a close encounter with a fat man at the toiletries stall (at least they were there) and the jolly veg man trying to overcharge me again (for the second time running).  On the way home, I went via the ironmongers in search of exterior paint to realise I had no mask.  I returned after lunch.  Not having the right sort of paint, I went to the site of a former decorating shop, forgetting it turned into an Asian grocers ages ago, and looked for the animal-loving vegan café on the same road.   Definitely closed as Phil had read on socials, I had no idea where the birds had gone.  Taking a short-cut between the back of 2 pubs, the narrow backstreet was lined with tables and chairs just like the Med!

Hot and tired, I dossed on the sofa before assessing garden furniture while Phil fetched wood planks from the attic to use for repairs.  Too big to fix the near bench, he went searching on the mill re-development site but got nowt.  Meanwhile, I removed dry rot.   He  asked if I had any anti-freeze from my car-owning days and found a full can.  No idea it could revitalise the dry slats, he informed me it’s what they used on the Mary Rose.  Sometimes random knowledge comes in handy.  The woman next door seemed impressed too,  We then scraped peeling varnish off the far bench and applied wood stain.  Decorating neighbour came by and congratulated us on doing it right.  Overheating again, we retreated indoors for Magnums and coffee.

26,068 news cases were found in England, over 3,00 in Scotland; 2,00 traced to the Euros and 1,294 caused by Scots fans going to the derby in London.  WHO estimated the footie led to global cases rising 10%.  Germany complained of irresponsibly large crowds at venues like Wembley.  TV doctors listed new symptoms associated with the variant.  Suffering most of them every day, should I worry?  Did I have long-covid?

1st July marked the first day of the second half of the year and the cut-off for EU citizens who’d failed to navigate the complicated system, to be able to stay in the UK.  Furlough would start tapering off, the business rates holiday would end, and VAT and stamp duty would rise. Gary Smith of GMB cried: “Ministers are seriously misguided if they think we can suddenly revert to business as usual.” A record 6,000 migrants crossing the English Channel since 1st January, charities accused government of creating a ‘people smuggler’s dream’ in a quest to build ‘Fortress Britain’.  In Sunderland, Nissan built a new electric car and a huge battery plant, with financial support from The Treasury.  Boris went to wear a stupid silver racing jacket labelled PM and hinted some restrictions might stay after 19th July.  After a vicious by-election campaign involving the odious George Galloway and canvassers requiring police protection due to harassment and egging, labour clung onto Batley & Spen by a shrunken majority of 323.  The leftie vote split by The Workers Party (closely aligned to CPGP), tories allegedly defected over The Cock affair and silence on dirty tactics.  Kim Leadbeater claimed it was a vote of hope over division. Vegan poet Benjamin Zephaniah noted he was the only anarchist ever invited onto the QT panel and said we couldn’t go back to normal as that was what caused the pandemic in the first place  i.e., eating animals.

Still achy but much less fatigued on Friday, I researched HQ Creative Industries lab mentioned in Metro.   This division of Harper Collins aimed to support under-represented groups.  Thinking I had a chance of qualifying as socio-economically disadvantaged, I flicked through some of my old writing for submission ideasi.  After shopping and lunch, I applied another layer of anti-freeze on the near bench but thought varnishing a bit chancy with leaden skies.  Next door’s gardener introduced herself and remarked on the restoration project.  “I learnt the hard way that it’s much better to rehydrate dry wood rather than slap paint on. It just peels off again.”  Discussing recent lack of rain and the challenges of growing plants in the South Pennines, she kindly offered to expunge some of our creeping buttercup and crocosmia.  As a prelude to the evening’s footie, I read ‘Dear England’ by Gareth Southgate.  I agreed with Phil it was rather goodii.  In the first quarter-final of Euro 2020, Switzerland and Spain drew 1 all.  As a Swiss player was sent off, Phil said it would be easy for Spain.  They did win but only after extra time and a scrappy penalty shoot-out.  They’d face Italy in the semi next week.  After films, we watched an episode of Apparitions.  Not sure how we missed it when it was on normal telly, Phil assured me the exorcism details were quite accurate.

Estate agent Lewis Hughes was charged with common assault on Chris Witless and lost his job.  UK cases of the Delta variant quadrupled in less than a month and rose 46% in a week.  The day of the launch of the EU Digital Covid Certificate, it turned out the EMA hadn’t yet approved the Indian Covishield version of Astra-Zeneca meaning those jabbed with it couldn’t go to Europe.  The batch numbers matching our first dose, it was just as well we were resigned to not going abroad this year.  Boris played down the issue and an expert called it an admin error that should be quickly resolved.  Banger wars averted for 2 months, a long-term solution to the Northern Ireland protocol was still needed.  The Merkel meeting The Bumbler at Chequers, was optimistic ‘pragmatic solutions’ could be brokered.  Was the wurst behind us?  I thought not.  She said double-vaccinated Brits would be welcome in ‘the foreseeable future’ without quarantine but repeated concerns about Wembley crowds.  Popular German brand Haribo struggled to get sweets to Britain.  30,000 delayed HGV tests and drivers returning to their home countries after Brexit led to a shortage of hauliers.  Sales were up at Primark, JB Sports and Revolution bars (originating in my home town).

Thunder Head

Haiga – The Beautiful Game

Mostly grey on Saturday, I stayed home, draft-posted the journal, spent ages getting rid of cobwebs behind kitchen cupboards and took recycling out in a bright spell as lesser-seen neighbours came by.  They told me they were moving to Barnard Castle, because you couldn’t buy white goods here anymore.  It takes all sorts!  Having moaned their huge garden was too much work now he’d retired, he then made a snooty comment about our tiny garden.  Knowing them slightly from a dance class a few years ago, I never knew they were so snobby!  Phil went shopping in town.  Not too busy, we guessed everyone was saving themselves to go mad during the footie later even though he only spotted 1 pub with a telly.  Dinner not quite ready before the game, we watched the first few minutes on the kindle while eating, but still managed to miss the first goal due to a delay.  England beat Ukraine by a stunning 4-0.  More fans than expected in Rome, they were allegedly expats.  We suspected some got there in roundabout ways.  The next game would be a semi-final against Denmark at Wembley.  Phil quiet all night, a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder prompted him to confess he’d suffered from the air pressure.  “Aah! Thunder head!”  Alas, the downpour didn’t follow and his migraine persisted.

Sunday breakfast was hampered by clutter and mouldy bread making me stressed and panicky.  Phil characteristically arrived the moment I’d done it all.  Sick of food waste, I vowed not to use recycled bags ever again.  A flash of lightning and a loud thunderbolt this time presaged a massive thunderstorm.  Phil had thunder head again and bad hand cramp.  Feeling disabled, he persisted in working on the computer.  Photographer friend posted on Facebook that her studio was flooded but I saw reports of nothing elsewhere.  I wrote a haiga with a topical football themeiii and tagged the journal.  Mistakenly adding a whole paragraph, I found a quicker way of editing tags and spent all day on it.

According to a React 2 study, long-covid affected 2 million people.  On the Marr, Stephen Powis said it encompassed a range of symptoms, clinics were treating them, and kids got it even if they hadn’t been very ill with the virus itself.  Rachel Reeves came on to say ‘The Science’ a lot and that the government needed to present evidence to parliament instead of to the press.  She agreed with Stephen that not sorting out social care put pressure on the NHS and accused Boris of ‘neglect and failure.  IDS and 5 other ex-chancellors wanted the extra £20 on UC to stay.  I agreed, but it was rich coming from the guy who invented it!  After an EU summit and a week in isolation with covid, Luxembourg PM Xavier Bettel went to hospital.

* Financial Reporting Council

References:

i. HQ Creative Industries lab  https://harpercollins.co.uk/pages/hqcil

ii. Dear England by Gareth Southgate: https://www.theplayerstribune.com/posts/dear-england-gareth-southgate-euros-soccer

iii. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

Part 68 – Smash and Grab

“The point is that 60,000 people at the match sends a message to 60m, which is, ‘well, if they can meet together, why can’t we? If they’re rammed together and leaping up and down and hugging each other when a goal is scored, why shouldn’t we?” (Stephen Reicher)

Moody Moon

As befitted the summer solstice, Monday was cold, grey and drizzly.  The live-feed from Stonehenge was pulled as hundreds ignored advice not to go.  I slept late until I heard Phil in the bathroom, did a few exercises and developed a strange muscle spasm in my back.  When it eased off, we hugged and joked about his scratchy flowing locks.  After chores and blog-posting, I darted round a strangely quiet co-op.  Even though Phil had cleared kitchen surfaces, it took a while to sort groceries.  Knackered, I collapsed on the sofa when there was a knock at the door.  A man tried to flog us cavity insulation.  I informed him we didn’t have cavities to fill.  Phil cut his hair into a severe buzzcut. “You should have done that yesterday, tattooed runes on your forehead and danced on a hill at sunrise. That would scare people!”

Posing like a knob in a white coat at a vaccination centre, The Bumbler said 19th July looked good for ‘Freedom Day’ thanks to vaccines.  Covboost results expected by the end of August, plans for autumn boosters would come soon. Many questions arose: what age groups? were children included? which brands? could they be combined with flu jabs?  Chris Hopson expressed ‘increasing optimism’ that inoculation had broken the chain between infection and hospitalisation.  But queries over future variants remained.  Not happy with a travel ban from Scotland to the North West without consultation, The Burnman whinged the whole world would hear Manchester and Salford weren’t safe and demanded compo.  Sturgeon retorted she wasn’t interested in a spat and he could just pick up the phone.  A meeting of social care leaders with Boris, The Cock and Rishi Rich reportedly postponed, they called for publication of proposed reforms before the summer recess, immediate cash ‘to avoid serious risks to support’ and further investment to be hastened.

Backache replaced by tummy ache Tuesday, it was an effort to get off the bed.  I wrote off a planned extended outing and got depressed at missing a bright day.  I worked on the journal and cleaned the kitchen.  As I tackled the sink overflow, Phil came to disparage my methods.  “When you do most of the cleaning, then you can criticise!” I yelled.  “Tell me what needs doing and I’ll do it.”  Not wanting to escalate the argument, I kept schtum.  Phil had suggested a short walk but no improvement in my mood or fatigue, I dismissed the idea of going anywhere.  “You’re enervated,” he observed.  “Is that right?  It’s one of them words that sounds the opposite of its meaning.”  A min-update from the researcher revealed she’d indulged in ‘ethnographic noticing’ during 2 weeks off.  “Staring out the window?” Phil chortled, “I do that a lot!”

We rushed dinner to watch the footie.  Rahim Sterling scored the only legal goal.  England beat the Czechs and finished top of the group.  Meanwhile, Scotland lost to Croatia 3-1 and were going home.  England would face Germany, France or Portugal from ‘the group of death’ in the first knock-out stage at Wembley a week hence.  Trying to work out third place permutations defeated me.  Some clever coffee-cupper likely responsible, it would be much simpler with 8 groups rather than 6.  Phil suggested I tell UEFA.  “Yeah, cos everyone’s a football manager! They’re probably inundated with that crap all the time.”

The almost-full moon rose above the treeline.  We nipped out to take photos as the hippy with the dog (who now came to sniff us instead of barking) came by.  A young neighbour gripping a brace of beer bottles slurred: “I can never take decent pictures of the moon on my phone.”  I deduced he was smashed from celebrating the footie win.  As Phil went back inside, atmospheric clouds lent a moody aspect to my final shots.

PCR tests in Yorkshire were extended to Sowerby Bridge, parts of Halifax and Leeds.  Wakefield was added later.  Authorities in Calderdale said they were almost top of the county league table as they tested more than other areas.  The Cock promised pilots to scrap 10-day quarantine for the double-jabbed who’d been in contact with infected persons and for travellers from amber list countries (using daily testing instead) as soon as ‘reasonable to do so’.  Not yet ‘clinically advised’, he couldn’t give a date.  The Scumbag held a Q&A for paying subscribers on Substack.  He said Boris saw ‘focus’ as a menace to his own freedom and we’d all head for bunkers in the hills if we knew how bad it was.  So why didn’t he stay in the one on his in-laws’ Barnard Castle estate last year?  Ahead of the Euro 2020 games, a member of the Scottish squad tested positive for covid and missed the match.  His teammates weren’t required to isolate but 2 English players did because they chinwagged with him in the tunnel.  Arguments ensued as to why football wasn’t defined as a ‘close contact’ sport.  What about the sweaty dressing rooms?  In Scotland, a move down to the lowest tier was delayed to at least 19th July with possible lifting of restrictions by 9th August, if vaccination milestones and other criteria were met.  Lord Frost accused the EU of a lack of ‘pragmatism’ to make the Northern Ireland protocol work.  DUP in-fighting led to leader Edwin Poots being forced out after 21 days, to be replaced by the only candidate, Jeffrey Donaldson.

Smashing It

Heron

Somewhat better but still fatigued Wednesday, I spent ages expunging dust in the living room.  Preparing to go out in the Somewhat better but still fatigued Wednesday, I spent ages expunging dust in the living room.  Preparing to go out in the afternoon also took ages and we were only going to town!  Phil stood fiddling with his phone in the middle of the street.  Waving ‘bye!’ I walked on and greeted an elderly neighbour.  From the opposite riverbank, we heard the familiar sounds of busking.  “What’s on the acoustic stage today?” quipped Phil.  The hipster guitarist who’d disturbed our Saturday night, played to a small group by the water.  Was it an exclusive backstage gig for groupies?  After-school kids prowled the streets.  Getting essentials in the convenience store, we danced to the radio.  An Agatha Christie look-a-like ignoring the one-way system came and straight at us.  Phil said she was a ghost.  “How come we both saw her?”  “Magic conjured by wandering teenagers!”  Heading home via the main road, a heron landed under the bridge.  Taking pictures, my phone did some weird multi-shot thing unbidden.  God knew what of!  In Oxfam, we danced some more and found socks for Phil.  About to buy a DVD, I checked the condition to discover it scratched to nothing and fit only for smashing to bits.

New daily cases reached 16,135, the most since 6th Feb.  82.5% of adults had a jab; 60% 2 doses.  BBC Breakfast reported school absences due to covid trebled in a week and were the highest since schools resumed in March.  Van Dam was chased by anti-vaxxer Geza Tarjanyi and a Taliban missile hit an Afghan hospital destroying crucial vaccine stocks.  Rainbows lit up buildings in Munich for the last games in the ‘group of death’ and spectators cheered a man running onto the pitch brandishing a rainbow flag. Germany beat Hungary thus England would face their bitter rivals in the first knock-out round – of course!  Although 60% of UK adults were immunised as opposed to only 30% of Europeans, Merkel said all Brits entering any EU country should quarantine (at least until Germans got their towels on sun loungers!) Would they be welcomed in London next week without having to do so?

Different rules in Holland saw a 5-day quarantine for Italy and Welsh fans turned away from Amsterdam airport.  Ministers thrashed out a deal with UEFA to allow 60,000 spectators at Wembley.  Cue more complaints of ‘mixed messaging’ and unfairness.  While parents couldn’t even go to school sports day, culture minister John Whittingdale said it was legitimate under ERP and the ‘right time’ to test bigger events.  Steve Reicher railed that 60,000 people crowded together at the match sent a message to 60m; if they can do it, why can’t we?  Talks continued on VIPs not quarantining. Tui joined Virgin Atlantic, BA, Ryanair and Manchester Airport Group in legal action against travel restrictions and went to Westminster on a day of action to pressurise the government to reopen travel and provide targeted financial support.  They were told they could access furlough and would have to wait for changes to travel rules.  Grant Shats was hopeful the world could open up when they caught up on vaccines.  According to my calculations, that was the end of 2022.  So be it…

John Bercow defected to labour.  Denying it was to be a lord, The Torygraph reported he lobbied Jeremy Corbyn for a peJohn Bercow defected to labour.  Denying it was to be a lord, The Torygraph reported he lobbied Jeremy Corbyn for a peerage.  Exactly 5 years after the Brexit referendum, Doncastrians (of whom 69% voted leave, the highest in the UK), couldn’t remember what day it was according to a Look North Vox pop.  Following speculation that HS3 could be scrapped, tory toff woman on Daily Politics mouthed platitudes on Northern Powerhouse rail, triple-lock pensions and their recent by-election fail.  Boris opened PMQs listing reasons why Brexit was great and thanking the armed forces.  Local MP Craig Whittaker asked about ‘levelling up’ to get a curt reply that Calderdale Council needed to listen.  Ian Blackford renewed calls for a public inquiry on how the tories dealt with the pandemic, claiming they used emergency covid contracts to commission political research from their mates on the future of the union and sanctioned corrupt campaigning, instead of to acquire PPE.

Awoken by loud doings from the canal works Thursday, I rose grumpily.  I put on a summer dress for the first time this year to cheer myself up.  On Jeremy Vine, snowflake and so-called commentator Dominque Samuels repeated her cretinous view that she should be allowed to go out and mix while those that didn’t like it stayed home and said she thought differently to other people.  Maybe, but obviously not very deeply if the thing she’d choose to protest against was supermarket sarnies!  As I tried to work on a frustratingly slow laptop, a different noise assailed my ears.  I looked out the window to see the latest antics of DIY Don’t Guy on the street below.  In recent months, his exploits included taking floorboards up and washing them with soap and water and using a massive axe to chop firewood.  The stupidest yet, he and a mate smashed up a flimsy plywood desk with said axe.  Mission complete, they cheered and whooped ‘smashed it!’ like they’d achieved an amazing feat and he raised the axe above his head.  “I’d laugh if it fell on him.”  “Yes, as you called the ambulance!”  Phil added.

Walking Friend arrived mid-afternoon to pick up books and DVDs I thought she’d like.  One a Disney cartoon, she good-naturedly told me to ‘eff off!’ but kept it.  I made her coffee and we stayed outside to exchange news and views on health issues and the plague.  Initially saying she was sick of people being careful, she later conceded rising infection rates indicated it wasn’t yet over.  Phil joined us to discuss druids, standing stones and the right to roam.  He took photos of clouds as a goldfinch chick hopped across the street to stop just behind his heel.  Scared he’d step on it, I exclaimed: “Look behind you!”  Obviously something wrong with the tiny thing, we dithered over what to do, rang a local vegan animal sanctuary, got no answer and consulted the elderly neighbour who advised against touching it as our scent would mean the brood wouldn’t accept it.  His wife melodramatically exclaimed: “everything’s dying today!”  I fetched gloves and a box to fashion a makeshift nest, when Phil got through to the animal lovers who arrived a few minutes later.

Bare-handedly picking the chick up, they said the smell thing was rubbish.  It would be homed with birds of a similar age until fit to fly.  Insisting we name it, I came up with the highly original Goldie.   I assured the upset neighbour “It’s not going to die. The nice animal people took it.”  Decorating Neighbour who’d just parked up quipped: “For a pie.”  “Don’t be daft! They’re vegans!”  (see below for photo). 

Exhausted after another missed siesta, I faffed over Walking Friend’s coffee paraphernalia and made us a pot. In the evening, we failed to see the Strawberry Supermoon in a cloudy sky.  At least we got some pictures earlier in the week.  QT and Brexitcast mostly boring, Katya Adler revealed the German phrase for banger wars.  ‘Wursthall Stillstand’ actually meant sausage standstill; sausage wars literally translated to Wurstkreig.  All sorts churning round my head that night, the meditation soundtrack was of limited help.

Senior ministers signalled all legal restrictions would end 19th July, Useless George looked forward to ditching his mask, but experts advised continuing measures to manage virus levels.  Downing Street said they were still studying the data before a final decision.  ALW joined others in the entertainment industry in legal action to make the government to share ERP findings.  Rejecting a last-minute offer to include Cinderella as a test event, he accused Boris of ‘cherry-picking’ high profile sports.  As if to prove his point, it was announced that Silverstone would host a capacity crowd for F1 on 17th July.  Mind you, outside sport was a different prospect than indoor theatre.  He also wanted government-backed insurance, new rules on quarantine and clearer guidance for future operations.  In limited changes to traffic lights, Malta, The Balearics, Madeira, Barbados, Bermuda and Grenada went green.  Tour operators predictably wailed it wasn’t enough and holiday bookings surged even though the lights could change again at short notice.  Unite called Lloyds bank closing 44 branches ‘baffling’.

Grab a Snog

Goldie by Phil

Waking early Friday morning, I was too hungry to sleep more and also felt slightly ill.  We laughed at people swimming in East London docks.  Orange markers made them resemble bobbing buoys.  Phil cleaned the bathroom while I made a start on decluttering the small room.  I arrived at the co-op to realise I’d forgotten the list, rang Phil to read it to me then waited for him to help carry the shopping.  Both starving and cranky by now, we ate a hasty lunch.  I’d wanted to see how Goldie was getting on with the lovely vegans but was too tired to visit.  Packaging still strewn around the kitchen floor late afternoon, I bit down my anger, cleared it up and relaxed with coffee. Courtesy of the £5 freezer deal, dinner was a pizza feast.  I was about to ask for help switching stuff round in the oven when Phil scarpered.  Struggling by myself, I shouted in frustration.  He returned testily to the kitchen for me to berate him on a lack of help and cried: “You asked the other day to tell you what needs doing. You shouldn’t have to ask. You’re in the house as much as me!“  He shouted back “don’t shout!” and said he had to do “this thing called work.”  “I know but not all the time!”  Feeling awful after the row, I should’ve known on Tuesday it was only a matter of time before my frustrations boiled over.  We calmed down with wine and films.

Days after hitting a grim 500,000 deaths, Brazil recorded 115,228 cases in a day.  UK infections were up 46% in a week, 95% due to the Delta variant.  Fast spread of the mutant led to a sudden third wave in Euro 2020 host city St. Petersburg.  Streets packed, amid calls for a total lockdown, officials said get a jab of the ‘world beating’ Sputnik (only 11% of Russians had one so far).  Results of ERP finally revealed, they showed 28 covid cases detected from 9 large-scale events April-May.  Metro mentioned high compliance with mask-wearing and social distancing but not take-up of PCR testing before and after, which The Independent reported as low.  Scientists advised treating the findings with ‘extreme caution’ as a result.  How could it be a properly controlled scientific experiment if testing wasn’t mandatory for the 58,000 attendees? Chief advisers Nicholas Hytner and David Ross made no ‘conclusive public health recommendations on the reopening of events’.  Kromek innovation detected virus in the air at Teesside airport.  Why not elsewhere?

CCTV film of The Cock snogging close university friend Gina Coladangelo while grabbing her arse covered The Sun’s front page.  Taken before lockdown easing in May, he was accused of hypocritically breaking social distancing.  Amid calls to stand down, he apologised.  Rather than sack him, Boris said he still had faith and considered the matter closed.  Annalise Dodds exclaimed: “He set the rules, he admits he broke them. He has to go.”  A labour spokesman added: “The PM recently described him as ‘useless’ – the fact that even now he still can’t sack him shows how spineless he is.”  They were right but was it a worse crime than lying about PPE failures and elderly care deaths?  Questions ensued on how the girlfriend got jobs as an aide and a non-exec director at DoH.

Grab a Jab

Haiga – Crossroads

Youngest Brother turned 50 on Saturday.  I posted an arty photo and joked he was catching up!  Phil cut my hair, I draft-posted the journal, and nipped out to plant celery in the mini-greenhouse.  Watering parched Christmas trees, I got covered in sticky plant seeds. The pesky embedded things took ages to pluck off my clothes.  As Gran emerged from her daughter’s house, I went over to chat.  She was sceptical the seeds were forget-me-nots but I couldn’t think what else they’d be.  She updated me on her recent injury, feelings of malaise, and a return of our old local.  “You should come down.”  “Not sure I’m ready for that yet.  We stick to pubs with more space.  And as for the price of beer…”  She went back in for gin and to watch her home nation In the first knock-out match of Euro 2020.  Spattered with green plant goo, I washed the dress and got changed before sitting down.  A totally outclassed Wales lost to Denmark 4-0.  For dinner, Phil cooked the main course and I made a crumble for dessert, using up fruit past its best.

Unable to sleep late Sunday, I turned on the telly for the inevitable news. I considered going to the market, decided not to bother, took empty bottles to the recycling bin and saw a folder atop the community garden wall.  Was it a leaked Whitehall file? (see below).  I listened to music, did more de-cluttering in the small room and wrote a haiga.  Phil made austerity roast for dinner, slightly different to last time.  He had trouble cooking cabbage leading to interminable microwave pings.  As I opened the door to heat up leftover crumble, a waft of fiery air hit me in the face and I discovered the metal side was red-hot.   Scared to use it, I left him to put the pudding under the grill, which turned out to be a waste of time.  Annoyed at profligate use of fuel, I fumed, while he sulked until we felt able to speak to each other again.  I fell asleep quickly but woke in the early hours, absolutely parched.

Young people were urged to ‘Grab a Jab’ at walk-in centres for all adults not yet vaccinated.  Stephen Powis stood outside the Emirates stadium to say only 10% of cases were now hospitalised.  Mobile units also targeted hesitant groups.  The extra capacity led to half of 18-29 year olds being inoculated by the end of the weekend.  Just as well, seeing as hundreds of Leeds students partied in the streets of Hyde Park, dubbed Covid Central due to having the highest rate in the country.

Spineless Boris lacking the guts to sack him, The Cock resigned.  The PM later claimed credit for the move.  I agreed with Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice that he should have been ditched months ago for incompetence but thought reporting it to the police was pointless, even with the backing of Fleur Anderson.  We subsequently learnt he used a private e-mail account for official business (why, if there was nothing to hide?) and left his wife the night before the story broke – what a coward!  The Cock unaware of CCTV in his office, it emerged an anti-lockdown Whitehall whistle-blower handed footage to the press.  Cameras subsequently disabled, Brandon Lewis pledged an internal inquiry into the leak’s source.  Sajid Javid filled the vacancy.  The Scumbag tweeted he’d ‘tricked the PM’ into sacking Saj from the Treasury.  Otherwise there’d have been chaos.

Andrew Marr informed Sir Peter Horby (of Nervtag and Oxford Uni) he had covid last week, which explained his absence.  Likely contracted at the G7 in spite of 2 jabs, Sir Peter told him he was unlucky and went onto suggest the data looked good for unlocking 19th July.  However, rises in Sydney and Israel due to the Delta variant led to lockdown in the former and a return to mask-wearing in the latter and should be a lesson.  Warning of a double or triple whammy in winter with covid, flu and something else, he urged us all to get flu jabs.  Other medics also predicted more winter flu because of less immunity.  Again I thought, make your minds up!  What if we all stuck to face- masks and social distancing?  Witless looked like a frightened rabbit as he was accosted in St. James’ Park.  An outraged Met investigated but made no arrests yet.  Confidential MOD files were found at a bus stop in Kent, detailing the willy-waving mission of HMS Defender versus Russia in the Crimea earlier in the week.  Labour said it showed the government didn’t do its job and could have jeopardised operations.

Reference:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com