“Suella Braverman’s use of the word hurricane is intentional. It presents people as a threat, making it easy to commit acts of barbarism against (them). It’s sinister, it’s shocking, that that language is used by our Home Secretary” (Emma Dabiri)
Rishi Word Cloud
Vowing to review ‘hair-brained schemes’ such as ULEZ, Rishi Rich went to a scruffy-looking Salford 1st October to squirm as Laura K. quizzed him on tory Cornwall council wanting 20 mph zones, electioneering and HS2. Party members leaving in droves, including nice capitalist Richard Walker, minister’s conference speeches were shifted to a small auditorium but Shatts still had to fill the front row with aides.
Gill Keegan proposed to ban mobile phones in schools. Concrete crumbling and kids falling behind in their development due to covid lockdowns, it was good to know she was focused on the real priorities! The C**t said he’d raise the national living wage to £11, strengthen benefit sanctions and freeze civil service recruitment to cut £63,000 jobs, saving £1bn in 2024. Swellen warned of a hurricane of mass migration. Raucously applauded by acolytes, others railed at her reckless language. Alicia Kearns advised caution in the use of words. Totally delusional Trussed-Up Liz tipped up to urge ‘New Conservatives’ (yet another splinter group) to ‘unleash their inner conservative’.* She and Nasty Patel praised ‘disrupter’ GB news for taking on the establishment. Eh? They were the establishment! More enthusiastic clapping was followed by a Twitter backlash likening it to 1984. Patel then went dancing with Farage. The horror of the Nasty Duo could never be unseen!
Channel 4’s film Partygate brought some light relief. Its focus on the antics of Number 10 aides amusing, it shied away from implicating ministers. No doubt lawyers had something to do with that.
Having promised to make a ‘considered decision’ on HS2, Rishi used his conference speech, ironically in an old Manchester train station, to confirm scrapping the northern leg. The saved £36bn would be reinvested in transport infrastructure across the country such as ‘network north’ links, electrified train lines, Leeds trams and a new Bradford station – again! Pleasing Lee Anderthal who though HS2 ‘a load of nonsense’ and lauded by the faithful, he was lambasted by everyone else. Ex-PMs Boris and Camoron believed cancelling a project with cross-party consensus wrong and Will Wragg tweeted there was only one thing worse than a white elephant; half a white elephant. Tory mayor Andy Street who’d joined The Bunman in pleading for it not to be scrapped, almost resigned. Bunman was livid at treating northerners as second class citizens by making such a big announcement at conference. Tracy Bin called it a betrayal and Henri Murrison of Northern Powerhouse Partnership called it a ‘national economic tragedy’. The Budget destined to outlive Rishi’s tenure, he subsequently claimed the projects (some of which had already been built) were ‘illustrative’. Government unwilling to put a figure on funds available in the near future, they insisted HS2 would still reach Euston. It then emerged that was fully dependent on private investment. So like all Rishi’s decisions, money was the overriding factor, explaining the damning word cloud Laura K. confronted him with.
HS2 Cartoon by Matt
Despite Rishi reciting a gammon wish-list and idiotically saying ‘a man is a man, a woman is a woman, it’s just common sense’, even Daily Mail readers weren’t happy. Perhaps, like the rest of us, they didn’t believe any of the promised projects would actually happen or maybe they preferred the Nasty Duo.
Suspended over breaking coronavirus laws, Margaret Ferrier had been removed as Rutherglen MP and labour won the seat 5th October by a landslide. On QT, red wall tory Dick Holden denied Swellen’s rhetoric sounded like Enoch Powell. Irish writer Emma Dabiri considered it ’intentional, sinister and shocking’. After saying tories had ‘drifted out of touch’ during the cost of living crisis, failed to conserve the economy, high street, farming, rivers and seas, zero carbon obligations, schools or the NHS, Richard Walker expanded on why he left the party. He was also worried shopworkers, with already enough to do, would have to enforce new smoking laws. Emma Dabiri ended the programme talking about hyper-normalisation; the old Nazi trick of replacing the real narrative with a fake, simple one. Yep, that was what was happening alright!
On Laura K. 8th October, Curry’s boss Alex Baldock decried daft planning laws – the Chinese built a whole railway in the time it took to build a single UK factory. At the labour conference in Liverpool, Steve Reed told a fringe meeting tories were shit. Although her boss said a mess of ‘rehashed old promises’ rendered a future labour government re-committing to HS2 impossible, Reeves promised a review of the fiasco as well as a Covid Corruption Commissioner to recoup money, and a rebuilt Britain when she was chancellor.
In his oration, Keir said we’d had 13 years of things can only get better followed by 13 years of things getting worse but Britain could heal and get its future back. His new labour meant an end to sticking-plaster politics, a proper plan to fix tomorrow’s problems today, no more gesture politics and a party of service putting the country first. Promising big, he cautioned it needed a decade’s hard work – i.e., jam tomorrow. I doubt he won over the gammons with his plans to bulldoze local opposition to build 1.5 m houses. Jacketless and hair sparkling, he’d been pranked by a posh boy shouting about true democracy. The protestor was dragged out and put in a police van. We wondered what the charge was. Glittering in a public place?**
Glittering in a Public Place
*At a NewsXchange conference in Dublin a few months ago, Truss referred to the lettuce outlasting her Downing Street tenure as ‘puerile’ rather than real journalism. A bit rich seeing as she wasn‘t a real PM!
** People Demand Democracy (‘friends’ of JSO) later claimed responsibility.
“There’s no endgame that sees one country succeeding in controlling the virus while the rest of the world is dealing with rampant spread” (Salim Abdool Karim)
Peaky Jabbers
Haiga – Sinking
Exhausted by insomnia Monday morning, I forced myself up and opened the curtains to a sparkling scene of a thin coat of snow and dazzling sun. Briefly forgetting my woes, I said we should go for a walk, after the essential tasks.
Taking rubbish out, an icy wind blew into my face. I decided it was too cold for walking. The window cleaner’s hose was wrapped round our dustbin to stop people tripping on the steps. As he emerged from the higher terrace opposite, we chatted awhile. A load of crap dumped in the bin required fishing out with biodegrading rubber gloves and a stick, risking frostbite or worse. By the time I’d cleaned up after the horrid job, it was 2 o’clock and my previous enthusiasm was overtaken by malaise. Outdoor plans scrapped, I worked on the journal and aimed to do yoga but time ran away with me again. It was one of those days…
32 new vaccine sites included The Black Country Living Museum used as a film set for Peaky Blinders. “Peaky Jabbers!” I quipped, though the chances of Cillian Murphy turning up were slim. ONS figures showed that during 2020, manual workers suffered the most deaths from Covid-19, especially in production, security, chefs, and drivers (men), retail & wholesale, carers and social workers (women). The TUC said workplace fatalities were ‘vastly unreported’. The RMT, headteachers, prisons, posties and shopworkers clamoured to be prioritised for immunisation. The Covid Operations Committee, aka COC, met to decide on tighter border controls and quarantine hotels.
Ever the populist, a day after Matt Cock said it was too early, Boris hinted at easing lockdown after vulnerable groups were inoculated. Mark Harper of CRG called for slackening by early March, starting with schools. Already sick to death of media coverage on the impact of school closures, teenagers on Newsnight moaning that it was ‘weally hard’ wore down my sympathy for the younger generation. As if not attending class was the worst thing ever with hospitals full and people dying!
The last 12,000 jobs at Debenhams would go as Boohoo were buying the brand and website but not the shops. Later acquiring Dorothy Perkins, Wallis and Burtons, and Asos about to purchase Topshop, Topman, Miss Selfridge and HIT, it could be the end of Arcadia on the hight street, apart from possibly the flagship Oxford Street Topshop store.
NGS-SA, a consortium of medics looking into the South African variant, found 23 mutations, of which 20 caused amino acid changes and 8 were in the spike protein. These allowed greater transmission and replication in the host, leading to quicker spread. With some evidence of more resistance to natural antibodies, they said it was ‘likely’ vaccines would still work, subject to further research.
Tuesday proved even worse than Monday. In the damp monochrome afternoon, I set off for Boots. A woman crouched down to finger practically every item on the shelf, selfishly blocking the aisle, until I politely asked her to shift for me to grab mouthwash. I collected my online order from the cash-desk and retreated to decant items from the unwieldy box into my rucksack. Vials spilled out of a hair dye carton, hazardously undone. Now in a bad mood, I considered skipping the grocery shop but persevered. Kids running haphazardly in the congested co-op aisles made me swear. Swerving contact, I sped round for essentials but paused when I saw a product recall notice for seafood we got at Christmas, making a note to return it. At the kiosk I asked to speak to a manager. When he appeared, I explained my angst at the busyness of the shopfloor. Rather than an apology for the stress caused let alone any thanks for bringing the matter to his attention, he defensively said: “we can’t watch the floor all the time.” Fuming, I stormed out. Back home, I took toiletries up to the bathroom, got washed and collapsed on the sofa. Relating the obstacle course to Phil, he said: “it’s those essential coffee-cup worker kids coming out of school, obvs.” “Yes but why did they have someone on the door during the first lockdown to limit numbers and not now? And why do those middle class coffee-cuppers still think they are special?” It made me think again about the hubris of some, when everyone was in the same boat (apart from celebs). He kindly sorted the groceries so I could go for a rest, but my mind whirred, still perturbed by the shopping experience. And while there were less comings and goings on the street below, I was disturbed when shed boy returned in his rickety van from no-doubt essential building work (sic). Reflecting on the trials of the past 2 days, I reasoned at least the errands were done leaving time to do something more enjoyable midweek. In the evening, a fine fog swirled smoke-like beneath the streetlamps.
Dicing with Death
Sorry My Arse!
UK official deaths doubled in 2 months to reach the grim milestone of 100,000, a 3rd of them care home residents. The highest in Europe, only the US, Brazil, India and Mexico had worse stats. Sage bod Calum Semple predicted another 50k fatalities before the pandemic ‘burns out’. Keir, self-isolating for a third time, called it a ‘national tragedy’ and trolled out the old ‘behind the curve at every stage’ line. Appearing at the briefing, The Bumbler apologised and said he took full responsibility – sorry my arse! And to think that on this date in 2020, positive tests numbered 50. Oh, halcyon days! On a more positive note, over 7m now had the vax and hospital admissions were the lowest since New Year, but there were still more in-patients on ventilators than ever.
200,000 job losses Sept-Nov 2020 led to a 5-year unemployment record of 5% (1.72m). It would have been much worse without furlough, currently supporting 2.4m posts, down from the May peak of 8.9m, when firms shed staff before it was extended. Business leaders urged a re-extension of the scheme in Rishi’s March budget.
Rising on Wednesday, I immediately felt wobbly with a clogged nose and had to get back in bed. Pissed off after only 3 days up and about and reluctant to submit to a relapse, my depression reached a new low. I told myself I wasn’t missing much as the weather stayed grey, belying the forecast for an improvement. I hoped the debilitation would be short-lived this time but alas, it proved not to be. While I wrote on the laptop, Phil cleaned and shopped.
A week after escaping the floods, the Wockhardt factory was evacuated after a suspicious package required the deployment of bomb disposal. A Chatham man later arrested for sending the parcel, we weren’t told if it was actually a bomb. The Bumbler briefed the nation that 8th March was the earliest date for school re-opening and promised a plan to come out of lockdown week beginning 22nd Feb, dependent on vaccine progress, hospital admissions and fatalities. Patel finally said going on holiday was illegal and berated social media influencers sun-bathing in Dubai and skiers heading for Kings Cross. Travellers from certain countries would be bussed to Covid hotels, paying £1,500 for 10 days quarantine. The ‘red list’ due to come into force next Friday, included South America, Southern Africa, Portugal, UAE and some dot islands. Best Western’s UK CEO Rob Paterson said the chain could quickly sweep into action, but later expressed dismay at the lack of firm plans. Was he that rare animal – a businessman who wasn’t in league with the tories?
A virtual Keir appeared at PMQs to repeat’ slow, slow, slow’. He asked: why was the UK death toll the highest in Europe? why did quarantine only apply to certain countries? and why weren’t all inbound travellers tested and quarantined immediately? Keir slapped down an evasive Boris for trolling out the worn-out insults, said he had ‘no plan’ and pleaded for the urgent inoculation of keyworkers. This time able to ask both questions, Ian Blackford berated Boris for not ‘following the science’ as he claimed and called for financial certainty on furlough and UC: “stop the dithering and delays!” Des Swayne MP (not seen on the green benches) told an anti-lockdown group that stats on the virus “appear to have been manipulated.” Scolded by the tory chair, Angela Rayner demanded stronger action.
After a week of anti-curfew rioting in the Netherlands, businesses were boarded up and at least 180 arrested. Fires were lit in the streets of Amsterdam and Den Hague. No surprise to me, having previously experienced hair-raising New Year trips! One of their favourite pastimes seemed to be setting fire to cars. Pfizer found their vaccine effective against the SA variant while Moderna developed a booster for theirs. Chair of the SA coronavirus advisory panel, Salim Abdool Karim said: “no-one is safe until everyone is safe…There’s no endgame that sees one country succeeding in controlling the virus while the rest of the world is dealing with rampant spread…we all need to stand together.” Prof. Tulio De Oliviera, the scientist who discovered the variant added that travel restrictions were futile: “I find it almost silly…trying to block a country, because we know how fast this virus spreads and in how many places.” He called on governments to avoid ‘virus nationalism’ and apply broad quarantine rules to all international travellers.
A good night’s sleep aside, I still felt ill on Thursday. I spent all day in bed writing my novel and collaging. Phil spent all day on the phone telling people Shutterstock wasn’t working. The problem persisting into the following week, at least it was earning the dollars.
Paperchase
Euphoria Salon Escapees
In the face of criticism on slow rollout and angry at Astra-Zeneca limiting supplies to the EU, the European Commission had threatened vaccine controls. Nads Zahawi played down fears imports of Pfizer would be blocked, saying 367m were on order from different sources. EU health commissioner Stella Keryakides said: “we reject the notion of first come first served.” Set to approve the AZ vax Friday, Germans found ‘insufficient data’ of effectiveness on the over 65’s. Nads dismissed the claims. AZ boss Pascal Soriot advised the UK was doing right delaying the second jab 12 weeks and bragged that all over 50’s would be immunised by the end of February. Wading into the kerfuffle, Sturgeon threatened to give supply figures to Europe (already available in the form of ‘spin’). She also criticised Boris for visiting the Valneva lab in Livingston north of the border, maker of yet another vaccine. Meanwhile, Novavax planned to make 60m doses in Teesside. Almost 90% effective on the Kent virus and 60% on the SA variant, it was set to be the 4th vaccine to gain approval.
With an upward trend since Christmas week, police had so far issued 42,000 fines, 80% to 18-39 year olds and 250 for mass gatherings including 2 organisers of the Woodhouse Moor snowball fight. “Why no fines for Londoners sledging on Primrose Hill?” I asked. “Because they weren’t Leeds chavs,” replied Phil. “We were told it was students.” “I doubt it. Not dressed like that.” Clients escaped from a police raid via the fire exit from the Euphoria salon in Cwmbran. The owner was fined £1k, Casa Cruz got a £5k fine for Rita Ora’s birthday bash but she escaped sanctions herself. The disproportionality was striking.
The issue of ‘vaccine nationalism’ discussed on QT, we were reminded of the EU land border on the island of Ireland. Was there actually a good side to Brexit? “I’ve always said the EU is just a giant pile of coffee-cuppers,” declared Phil. The problems of getting a bunch of nations to agree manifest, maybe the UK government was right to appoint a venture capitalist to head up a taskforce, thus delegating the job to a non-politician.
And oft-derided investors saved the Paperchase chain, including many of the chain’s high street shops.
On a nondescript Friday, I initially felt better after a good sleep, but my sinus symptoms soon returned. Resigned to bedrest, I continued work on the secret collage, wishing I’d never started, or used paper rather than Photoshop. It was so fiddly cutting round those pixels! Phil went to the co-op for a ‘freezer filler’ of pizza and garlic bread. Again, we didn’t drink too much wine while watching films but overnight, I had two dreams like movie plots. The first resembled a crap cheap sci-fi with Mars cop robots. The second featured WW1 soldiers as sooty ghosts. Relating them to Phil, I complained: “we watch too many sci-fi and war films”. “It’s good for your imagination,” he countered, “WW1 gets in your head.” We thought there might be some mileage in the latter idea.
1 year since the first UK case of coronavirus arose in York, paper books chosen for genre or colour rather than content, sold ‘by the yard’ to fill shelves in zoom backgrounds. The Janssen vaccine showed 60% effectiveness after 1 dose, including on the SA variant. Prof. Paul Heath, leader of the Novavax trial, said the technology existed to deal with new strains with the possibility of ‘bivalent’ vaccines. The EMU approved the Astra-Zeneca vax for all adults, despite German claims of ineffectiveness on OAPs. Aiming to stop exports from Europe until the end of March, Brussels introduced more paperwork in the form of a ‘vaccine export transparency mechanism’ and planned to invoke Article 16 to stop product crossing from ROI to NI. After condemnation from London, Belfast and Dublin for breaking the Brexit agreement, it was hastily withdrawn. Arlene Foster called it “an incredible act of hostility.” Playing silly beggars, more like!
Over the weekend, I stayed mainly in bed spending far too long on the collage, making my head ache but I eventually finished it. Brighter on Sunday, we remarked on the noticeable change in light over the last few days, even when grey. Phil visited the nearby clough to report it totally sodden. Poaching overripe pears for dessert made my back ache and my mood plummet. Cheered by the tasty fruit and ice cream, I sat up to watch telly after dinner but had a mediocre sleep.
A record 600k jabs on Saturday brought the total to 9 million. Discussing overstocks going to less fortunate countries, shadow minister Rachel Reeves said the UK should inoculate its own vulnerable people first – very socialist, I’m sure! Her erstwhile boss Tony Blair waded into the paperwork row, admonishing the EU for being ‘foolish’. Macron defied speculation on another lockdown, shutting France’s shopping malls and non-EU borders instead. Across Russia, protests in support of Alexei Navalny involved dancing on ice and brandishing golden bog brushes – a reference to the Black Sea mansion allegedly owned by Putin. Liz Truss negotiated to join the Comprehensive & progressive Trans-Pacific Partnership (C&PT-PP). Emily Thornberry wondered why the country spent over 4 years leaving one trading bloc to join another. Fun and games!
The Corvus Diaries 