Part 74 – String of Fire

“The Thatcher years might have been a spiffing time for Johnson, who was busy partying in the elite Bullingdon Club, but in the real world Thatcher devastated communities across Scotland” (Owen Thompson)

A Load of Hot Air

Following a bad night, I felt exhausted Monday morning and got back in bed. As my last bout of debilitation over a month ago lasted less than 3 days, I hoped this one would be similar. Alas, it dragged on for over a week leading to deepening depression. Phil tried to cheer me up with funny dancing. However, as my eyes wouldn’t focus, they made me dizzy. He carried the breakfast tray down and returned for the washing. I bathed, donned a sarong and teetered downstairs for coffee and the laptop. Internet issues now into the third week, I managed to post a haiga but doing the journal was impossible. Going back down for lunch, I noticed the machine was on a drying cycle. Fearing for our smalls, Phil frantically pressed buttons until it stopped. Still struggling with unfocused eyes and head fug, I tried to motivate myself to write or do art but didn’t feel like doing anything at all. Very unlike me, even when ill, the mere thought of computer work made me feel sick. I watched an awful telly film and lay down to read. Eyes shutting, I hoped to catch up on some sleep. Sadly not, although I lay with closed eyes for half an hour which slightly helped my vision.

The TIT app was tweaked to only ping if contact had been within 2 days rather than 5. Changes didn’t affect sensitivity or risk threshold. A month-long study by Imperial College reassuringly found no covid on the train network. To encourage vaccine uptake, young people were bribed with taxi rides and kebabs from the likes of Uber and Deliveroo. Kebab-a-Jab was one of a range of schemes across the globe – rollmops in the Netherlands, sausages in Germany, mici in Romania*, popcorn in Australia, a chicken in Indonesia, a lottery to win a gold bar in Hong Kong, and a joint in Washington state (assumingly on top of the $100).

Initially refreshed after more sleep Tuesday, I wobbled on rising and got back in bed. Phil offered to get the mid-morning coffee then disappeared. He then embarked on an arty project which made a nice change from the mind-numbing monotony of his gig economy job. Pissed off missing a sunny day, I opened the window and worked on the laptop. Someone was only just asking the local Facebook group if there were issues with the internet. It beggared belief they’d sit there for 3 weeks without contacting their ISP! I suggested everyone affected lodged complaints to speed up repairs at the exchange. A couple of members responded they had, including a friend, making Phil feel less alone. Early evening, emergency vehicles sped up the hill opposite as helicopters wheeled over the valley. It transpired there were reports of a hot air balloon crashing and bursting into flames. It turned out to be a party balloon. Was the string on fire?

Cases dropping to around 22,000 a day as opposed to the predicted 100,000, Christina Pagel wanted to know why. Mike Tildesley put it down to people being cautious. Prof. Paul Hunter said hospital cases were ‘over the peak’ but 138 deaths was the most since 17^th March. An Imperial College React study found 2 jabs cut the chances of catching covid to 3.8%. JCVI now said the risk of myocardia was low and in balancing that against the benefits, offered 16-17 year olds a single jab as soon as practical, with possible roll- out to 12-15 year olds later. Peter Kyle complained they’d squandered the summer.

The ‘Key to NYC’ pass for indoor activities would launch 17^th August, to be fully implemented by 13^th September. 3 cases identified, all Wuhan citizens were tested for the Delta variant and a slight fall in Indian cases led to some opening up in Mumbai and Maharashtra. Iran suspected of a drone attack on oil tanker Mercer Street killing a Brit and a Rumanian last week, Rabid Raab summoned the ambassador. In a second incident, 9 armed men boarded the Asphalt Princess in the Gulf of Oman and ordered it to sail to Iran.

Seeing Red

Although very sleepy, I needed the meditation soundtrack to settle Tuesday night. I then woke several times in the early hours and subsequently dawdled over morning tea and bathing Wednesday morning. I tidied the bed, fetched coffee and worked on the laptop. Speedily backing up photos on OneDrive, I wondered if the internet was fixed. Phil in Leeds, I had no way of checking. I hoped he’d be back in time to enjoy his favourite quick pasta dish with me but he wasn’t. Sun replaced by cloud and occasional showers, he appeared slightly damp.

Ahead of changes to traffic lights, rumours of an ‘amber watchlist’ caused consternation and were later ditched. Amidst a cabinet fallout, Shatts was blamed. Which? reported on tour companies with the best and worst covid policies and encouraged sun-seekers to check the FCO list as well as the lights; were there discrepancies? A GoFundMe page aimed to purchase the RNLI a hovercraft dubbed The Flying Farage. If the target was exceeded, they planned to buy another vessel named Katie Hopkins or Darren Grimes (whoever he was). Drugs deaths up 3.8% in England and Wales and 4.8% in Scotland during 2020, Eytan Alexander of the UK Addiction Treatment Group called it a ‘parallel pandemic’ that had ‘worsened due to the virus’. Ministers denied cuts were to blame, saying they were investing £148m to tackle drug misuse. Belarus opposition leader Svetlana Tiskhavounskya met The Bumbler at Number 10 asking for more support against the despot Lukashenko, after an activist was found hanged in a Kyiv park and Olympian Krystina Tsimanskaya defected. Poland rescued the athlete at Tokyo airport. Meanwhile, the first trans woman to compete failed to win the weightlifting, belying claims of unfair advantage. 13 year old Sky Brown skateboarded to bronze. Already on TV ads, she didn’t say “I don’t feel like it today.” There’d been a lot of that during Shonkyo including Simone Biles withdrawing from team events and Adam Peaty declaring he needed a break.

Awoken by diggers on the canal Thursday morning, I gave up trying to sleep, managed a few small chores and got back into bed to catch up on online ordering. Having confirmed the internet was finally fixed, Phil received a belated call from Talk-Talk to that effect. Dinner taking too long to cook, I collapsed on the sofa to watch Netflix for the first time in ages but retired early for another mediocre night.

PHE said vaccines averted 66,9000 hospital admissions but according to Amanda Pritchard, of 5,000 ‘seriously ill’ patients, a fifth were aged 18-34. She urged young people to ‘not delay’ sorting their jabs. Traffic light changes turned Mexico red requiring airborne travellers to come home within 2 days or pay increased quarantine hotel costs of £2,285. Germany, Norway, Romania, Austria, Latvia, Slovenia and Slovakia went green. Spain stayed amber with PCR tests advised before returning. Qatar, Bahrain and UAE moved to amber, as did India but not Pakistan. MPs Naz Shah and Yasmin Qureshi saw red at unclear criteria and the government rewarding countries that offered economic benefits to the UK. On GMB, Shats insisted the changes only happened every 3 weeks leading to more stability, and were based on various factors and advice from the joint Biosecurity Centre. Was that the same JBC whose boss resigned over the ‘watchlist’ debacle?

90,000 EU citizens left UK hospitality jobs due to Brexit and covid as a new daily record of 482 people crossing The Channel made a total so far of 10,000 in 2021. Meanwhile, almost 60,000 arrived in Europe with 1,016 dead or missing. Steve Valdez-Symonds of Amnesty International UK said: “the reason people are putting themselves in serious danger…is that there are simply no safe alternatives open to them.” He urged French and UK governments to come together to fulfil their responsibilities: “On a global scale, very few people seek asylum in the UK and politicians need to stop peddling myths and stoking hostility towards often vulnerable people who’ve experienced persecution and trauma.” 11 people arrested over the racial abuse of Rashford, Sancho and Saka, the police promised more would follow. After wrecking rooms, the Shonkyo Australian rugby team raided drinks, threw up and ruined the bog on a JAL flight home.

Inferno

Turning cold and rainy for the next few days, it seemed positively autumnal. Friday, I posted a psychedelic version of a photo of summery park blooms for Elder Sis’ birthday and the journal entry delayed from Monday, then backed up files but wished I hadn’t. Later copying notes over, I discovered a week’s journal work lost. I must have overwritten the wrong ones! On a brighter note, I booked a reasonably priced short break. Hitherto finding costs in my preferred choice destination astronomical, I considered Blackpool when I came across reference to a site we’d used some years back. Cottages in the last-minute bargain section were even cheaper when I plumped for later dates. Problems at the end of the verifying process led to an anxious 20 minutes hanging on the phone to speak to a person and be assured the booking had gone through. Dinner taking ages again, I got very tired and knocked a wine glass off the top. Sweeping up what fragments I could see on the kitchen floor, one scooted under the fridge. impossible to tell if I’d missed any small shards, I warned Phil not to walk about bare-footed until we’d hoovered.

ONS found a 39% drop in cases with infections down across the UK except Northern Ireland where they were the highest since 23^rd January and the first 16-year-old got a Pfizer jab. In Australia, Victoria state started a week-long lockdown and NSW entered a seventh week after 5 deaths, one of whom was vaccinated. “They did it wrong. Not enough herd immunity.” Intoned Phil. Hypocrite minister and chair of COP26 Alok Sharma flew to 30 countries since February and didn’t isolate after trips to red-listed Bolivia and Brazil. David Lammy called the amount of travel ‘bizarre’. Munira Wilson said: “It seems incredible that this government never seems to learn the lesson; it simply cannot be one rule for them and one rule for everyone else.” Sharma also reportedly met Prince Charles indoors mask-less and visited a primary school. Fatty Soames’ Serco saw profits up 31%, thanks in part to 17% of the company’s contracts being covid related. BOE forecasted 4% inflation by the end of 2021 but expecting it to be temporary, left interest base rates at 0.1%. A 50% rise in wholesale energy led Ofgem to raise the cap on variable tariffs from 1^st October.

In Scotland not visiting the first minister, Boris laughed that Thatcher gave us a ‘big early start’ on dealing with climate change by shutting coal mines. Sturgeon exclaimed his comment was ‘crass and deeply insensitive’ and SNP MP Owen Thompson observed they might have been spiffing for the PM, but in the real world, the Thatcher years devastated communities.

Thanks to moderate drinking, I wasn’t hungover Saturday morning but felt woefully unrested. Making the morning cuppa, I found a tiny spider in a mug. The poor thing went round and round in a circle. I stood on the doorstep, shook it onto the replanted rose, said ‘hello world’ and retreated back indoors. Realising it had probably hatched under the living room floorboards and dropped down to the kitchen on a string, I reflected there could be millions living there. Phil concurred, then spotted a larger spider brazenly sauntering across the bedroom floor. Another rescue ensued. Fed up of niggles interrupting my dossing, I thought I might as well have breakfast. Returning to bed, I replenished lost journal notes and used a colourful photo from Brighouse for a haigaⁱ. Phil cleaned the kitchen, disposing of glass shards, went to the shop and cooked dinner. I had a terrible night. The heavy rain initially soothing, I fell asleep briefly then woke to toss and turn until 4.15 a.m. Becoming anxious by the relentless downpour, I almost burst into tears before eventually getting a few hours aided by the meditation soundtrack.

Still wet Sunday morning, at least the rain wasn’t as bad. More than could be said of me. Phil asked “Are you better?” “No, I feel awful. I told you I hardly slept!” He stroked me comfortingly as though I were a kitten and suggested we go charity shopping Monday. “What for?” “I thought you wanted to.” “I never said that. It must’ve been a boring dream.” “Yep. That sounds about right.” Back upstairs, I soaked a shirt I’d managed to spill drink on and cleaned the bath before going back to bed to draft-post the journal. Despite assurances, I was still receiving e-mails telling me to complete the holiday cottage booking. I sent a message back and trusting all would be okay, researched things to do in the area. Phil cut his hair and emerged looking like arch-druid Veran from Britannia, minus the tattooed runes. He then made a variation of his signature austerity roast for dinner. While again needing sleep aids, it was a distinct improvement on the previous night.

Cases now falling except among 18-29 year olds, Heaven offered vaccines to nightclubbers leading to totals of 89% adults having one jab and 74% having two. In a short-term fix, Operation Rescript put army lorry drivers on 5 day notice to help out with the HGV shortage. A string of wildfires created an inferno across southern Europe. 21 British fire & rescue personnel were sent to Greece, 1,000 were evacuated from the island of Evia and a volunteer was killed. In Sardinia, a sheepdog died of burns after protecting his flock.

*Mici – a type of sausage which Phil said he’d prefer above all the other bribes

Reference:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

Part 65 – Baffling Betrayals

“The package…falls far short of what is needed. It is too narrow, too small and will be delivered too slowly. Above all, (it) betrays an undervaluation of the importance of education for individuals and as a driver of a more prosperous and healthy society” (Kevan Collins)

Bedazzled

Morning mist once again burned off Monday and sunny weather persisted much of the week. Dozing from early dawn, I rose feeling unrested. I let Phil lie in while I fetched the tea. He awoke groggily from a heavy slumber. Lucky him! Unlike the last bank holiday, we were keen to get out and enjoy this one. Debating where to go, Phil searched a baffling array of magic stones, all some distance away. Seeing a much closer outcrop labelled on the map, I suggested a shorter walk and assembled a small picnic.

We headed out in dazzling sun to the opposite side of the valley where fallen fluffy catkins resembled dust on the pavement and bluebells gave the illusion of violet fields. At the western edge of the wood, a man inexplicably built a blazing fire. Further up, dandelions displayed luminous flowers and perfectly round seed heads. We ascended the lane through a gate into fields where spooky dead trees redolent of the holy land inspired my next haigaⁱ. Umpteen stiles later, we emerged onto another lane, dodging nasty flies lurking in a muddy quagmire and a group of walkers with a tiny dog coming the other way. Turning right, we stopped by a tinkling brook to eat, surrounded by hewn rocks, tussocks, delicate cuckoo flowers, buzzing bees and small heath butterflies. We then followed the treeline along the top of woodland. Phil thought he spotted the named outcrop, but with others nearby, it was hard to be sure. On the final steep descent, we gave our aching knees a break at a field where supine sheep grazed on overgrown grass. A mother and lamb lay comically at right angles. “Push-me-pull-ewe!” A refreshing breeze up top dropped significantly lower down, making us hot. Luckily reaching home before heatstroke set in, I started editing photos but had to stop with fatigue. (For a Fuller description of the walk, see ‘Cool Places’ⁱⁱ)

Blackburn overtook Bolton as the epicentre of Indian variant cases. Concerned Ravi Gupta of Nervtag called for further easing of restrictions to be postponed and sage bod Susan Michie warned: “We’re on a knife-edge. Either it could run away as it did at Christmas or potentially it could be contained. Everybody’s behaviour could potentially make the difference.”

Useless George trolled out the familiar government line about not making a decision until 14^th June. Ministers wanted all over 50’s to get 2 vaccine doses by 21^st June (didn’t they know it took a month to be effective?) As infections rose in Hounslow, Twickenham rugby stadium offered jabs to anyone over 18. People were left fuming after queuing for hours in the heat when the drugs ran out. The OECD predicted UK GDP would grow but less than other G7 countries and said worldwide recovery could be uneven due to disparities in vaccine distribution. Rishi Rich called the forecast “testament to the ongoing success of our vaccine rollout and evidence our plan is working.” If you say so! UK travellers had to demonstrate ‘compelling reasons’ for going to France and quarantine for 7 days. From the Have I Got News For You repeat, I learnt of a cloak and dagger operation to smuggle posh food deliveries into Downing Street, paid for by a tory donor’s wife, and that The Bumbler and Nasty Patel wore jackets with their job titles sewn on – in case they forgot, obvs!

Bespattered

In spite of a bath the previous night, my muscles ached Tuesday, including my buttocks. Had I strained my gluteus maximus? Cleaning the kitchen, I got distracted by the state of the toaster after recent heavy usage. I expunged a mountain of crumbs and bespattered the sink. I spent the rest of the morning writing, then went to get cash and a top-up shop. It was all going on, on the street below; the shed people worked outside while tanning, naked kids paddled in a small pool and neighbours chatted inanely. I arrived at the co-op to discover I’d forgotten my purse so slogged back and forth in the heat. The ATM bafflingly let me go through the whole process before failing to dispense any money. I omitted a couple of groceries to stay within budget, dodged half-term kids running amok and asked at the kiosk about the cash machine to be told in characteristically brusque fashion: “It’s nowt to do with us!” Back home, I filled 2 bags with garden waste, and slumped on the sofa hot and exhausted to gulp water before having a lie down. Early evening, a bee buzzed the wrong side of the living room window. I tried to usher it out but it became stressed so I left it. In the process, I noticed a pocket watch Phil had been fixing on the floor. He crawled around searching for the tiny hands only finding one, and seemed to think it was my fault. “Don’t blame me. I’m always telling you not to put things on the floor!”

The WHO renamed variants in line with Greek letters: Alpha, Kent; Beta, South Africa; Gamma, Brazil; Delta, India. For the first time since 30^th July 2020, no UK covid deaths were officially reported but cases in Yorkshire rose 19% within a week, although numbers in hospital fell. Covboost trials started in Leeds and Bradford, using 1 of 7 vaccines (AZ, Pfizer, Moderna, Novavax, Valneva, Janssen and Curevac). Prof. Dingbat concurred with the official message that there was ‘nothing in the data’ to warrant abandoning the roadmap. “From a societal point of view, I think it’s really important that we go ahead on June 21^st…we’ve got to look at the collateral damage…(and) the impact of economic damage that would be caused by further periods of delay and uncertainty.” Prof. Finn disagreed. With people still vulnerable, the job wasn’t yet done and going ahead with easement ‘may be a bad decision’. Boris chimed in: “We need to work out…to what extent the vaccination programme has protected enough of us, particularly the elderly and vulnerable against a new surge. And there, I’m afraid, the data is just still ambiguous.”

Heathrow re-opened terminal 3 to separate red list arrivals at long last. As the eviction ban ended, the Joseph Rowntree Foundation said 800,000 tenants were at risk of homelessness and half had already received notice. Discussing a new pollution charge for brum-brums in Brummie, some befuddled idiot on BBC Breakfast advocated placing monitors away from the road – well, that would make levels drop! It was later announced there’d be a 2-week delay imposing fines while people got used to the idea.

Buttocks still hurting Wednesday morning, I forced myself to do exercise. I noticed bits bespattering the bedroom rugs, gave them a quick wash and hung them on the line. Carefully hoovering the living room, I saw no sign of the missing watch hand. I worked on the journal and enticed Phil with the promise of ice cream in the sun after lunch. Waiting for him outside, I caught up with the elderly neighbour sat reading in the shade. She seemed much better and less befuddled than last time we spoke. We went into town where Phil popped in the convenience store while I collected a Boots order. A couple of damaged items bespattered other purchases and a faff ensued processing the refund. Finally able to get cash, we swerved through the busy square for ice cream cones from the sweet shop. No free space, we crossed to the memorial gardens and found a bench to scoff the rapidly-melting treats before continuing into the park, resplendent with leafy trees, rhododendrons and large red poppies.

4,330 new cases and 12 deaths were recorded but 75% of adults now had 1 dose of vaccine and 50% had 2. The Salesman announced help for school kids to catch up. Additional tuition and an extra year in sixth form amounted to 1/10^th of the budget originally slated. He promised more to come but not when. A baffled Tsar Kevan Collins (who I’d never heard of but worked on the plans) resigned, saying the package fell short, was too narrow and betrayed “an undervaluation of the importance of education.” ‘Yeah,’ I thought, ‘that’s cos they’re all toffs who went to posh schools’. Some tories did criticise the pathetic sum including Rob Halfon who said the money could’ve been found behind the sofa and wanted books not tanks. Speaking of which, NATO sec-gen Jens Stollenberg called for the immediate release of Roman Protasevich, an ‘impartial international investigation’ and the sanctions agreed against Belarus to be fully implemented. A 4-day bank holiday weekend was proclaimed in honour of the queen’s platinum jubilee a year hence.

Bedevilled

Duller on Thursday, we spent a dull day at home cleaning and working on laptops. Wanting to store winter jumpers, one really stank and needed a good wash first. I thought it wise to have a siesta after skipping it the day before. However, it was of little use and later, I could barely keep my eyes open or my head up. Developing a sore throat and the scary sensation of being unable to swallow, I took aspirin at bedtime but woke hot and sweaty several times during the night.

As Indian deaths reached 335,102, incidents of the Delta variant rose to 7,000. Bolton and Blackburn were still bedevilled with 3,000 cases. The so-called UK leaders’ Covid summit was in fact a pointless zoom meeting. Sturgeon and Drakeford said there needed to be ‘hard outcomes’. Meanwhile, G7 health ministers met in Oxford to discuss addressing the global vaccine issue and draw up a Pandemic Preparedness Roadmap. The ‘100 day mission’ would be presented to G7 leaders next week. Sarah Gilbert, inventor of AZ, called for them to share vaccines more widely and UNICEF wanted them to donate 20% of doses June-August, saying it could be done without disrupting existing programmes. In changes to the travel traffic lights, no countries were added to the green list, Afghanistan, Bahrain, Costa Rica, Egypt, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Trinidad & Tobago turned red and Portugal went from green to amber. The Cock said it was because of a new Nepal mutant of the Delta variant but the WHO bafflingly claimed there was no such thing. Effective from 8^th June, sun-seekers felt betrayed and scrambled for flights back before having to quarantine and take extras tests. Labour cried ‘chaos’, the Portuguese government ‘failed to see the logic’, Antonio Costa railed: “we can’t have a system of instability and change every 3 weeks” and EasyJet chief Johan Lundgren called it “a huge blow…with Portuguese rates similar to those in the UK it simply isn’t justified by the science.”

3-D Pen3 developed by Prof. Noam Sobel of Israel’s Weizmann Institute, identified coronavirus in the nose with 94% accuracy by sniffing out volatile organic compounds. Tim Brexit Martin incredulously proposed new visas for EU workers to fill Wetherspoons vacancies. He denied he had staff shortages or changed his stance on Brexit: “A reasonably liberal immigration system controlled by those we have elected, as distinct from the EU system, would be a plus for the economy and the country.” Phil guffawed and I wondered: “would that be attracting the brightest and best bar staff, Tim? How about paying more than minimum wage?” With 50 days to go, a practice medals Olympic ceremony was held. Tokyo 2020 president Seiko Hashimoto was ‘100% convinced’ the games would go ahead but 80% of Japanese polled wanted them cancelled, 10,000 volunteers quit and 100 areas pulled out of hosting duties.

A QT questioner asked were the government waiting for Marcus Rashford to step in over the paltry £50 per pupil budget for extra tuition? Airhead tory Lucy Frazer blathered about giving laptops to schools and Labour’s Peter Kyle laughingly claimed kids were breaking into schools. He didn’t like the idea of Freedom Day, as 21^st June was dubbed, or the amber list. Veteran broadcaster Jenni Murray was scared and confused.

Friday, I was yet again bedevilled by fatigue and sinusitis. Phil also felt unwell but managed to get brekkie . I bathed, stuck a sarong on, fetched coffee and the laptop, and went moodily back to bed to draft and post blogs. Meanwhile, Phil worked downstairs and shopped for weekend supplies, finding a few things missing from the co-op shelves, notably leafy veg (no doubt due to a rash of barbecues). I got a few minutes outdoors to help him hang sheets on the line – a precarious task as we both wobbled, but nice to catch a blast of sun and a glimpse of Welsh Poppies in the garden. Returning to writing, the laptop’s fan went into overdrive so I called a halt before it burst into flames.

Phil interrupted evening film viewing asking for a pen to write down a bafflingly long password. “What is that for?” “ Block chains.” “The devil’s work!” He later assured me he’d only created an account and hadn’t stumped up any actual cash yet (or bitcoins for that matter).

The R rate up to 1-1.12, 11 deaths were recorded and ONS data showed covid cases rose 76.5% 22^nd-29^th May (the highest since 16^th April). Most were in the North West, followed by the East Midlands and South West with slight rises in the West Midlands and London. Up more among over 35’s and 11-16 year olds, James Naismith of Oxford University put it down to 2 factors: the easing of lockdown measures and the Delta variant. Prof. Ferguson warned the figures pointed in a negative direction and the government should be cautious. The Pfizer vaccine was approved for 12-15 year olds and the government asked JCVI to advise on routine vaccination of teens. Trussed-up Liz’s latest trade deals with Iceland, Norway and Liechtenstein, encompassed her beloved cheese, pork, poultry and fish, nurses, lawyers and vets. Did digital documents involve satanic block chains?

Befuddled

Saturday morning, I tottered downstairs with a wobbly head and returned to bed to work on blogs. Going to town, Phil discovered it heaving as ever in the blazing heat and an old pub mate about to become a granny. I went back down for lunch but my head drooped. I lay drowsily on the bed. Unable to sleep, I was disturbed when Phil barged in, oblivious to my closed eyes. Annoyed, I turned over and made another futile attempt. After dinner, I managed a longer spell in the living room to watch films and drink delicious but risky red wine. I fell into a coma at night-time only to wake in the early hours.

Befuddled by the wine, we both struggled to come round Sunday morning. Mostly cloudy, the sun came out at 3 and I got more depressed being stuck in bed during nice weather. Finding inspiration from ye olde Bean Book, Phil concocted a ‘wartime roast’. It resembled more of a Sunday dinner than we expected and prompted jokes about austerity cooking and ideas for variations.

On Saturday, much of Scotland moved to level 1, except the central belt which stayed at level 2. 5,341 new case were identified and 4 deaths announced on Sunday. The Cock told Marr the Delta variant was 40% more infectious than the Alpha, making decisions on easing ‘difficult’. But ¾ of cases were in people who hadn’t been vaccinated and those hospitalised recovered more quickly. Infections and in-patients also fell in Bolton. BBC news asked: ‘would we face a wave or a ripple over summer?‘ and said ministers needed ‘every scrap of data’ before the decision in 8 days’ time on whether to forge ahead with the roadmap. Sage bods predicted 2,000 hospitalisations a day by August and Prof. Reicher called it ‘very foolish’ to relax the rules. As under 30’s were offered jabs, queues formed at dawn to save ‘Freedom Day’. I repeat: didn’t they know it took a month to be effective?

References:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

ii. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/

Part 51 – Magic, Mayhem and Mystery

“Boris Johnson appears to have finally learned a lesson about the dangers of overpromising and underdelivering” (Devi Sridhar)

Magic Monday

Very achy at the start of the week, it was a struggle to get up. A typical Monday mired in nasty jobs was brightened somewhat when I took the rubbish out by sightings of the sun and several neighbours. Exchanging pleasantries with the woman next door, the elderly couple emerged for a stroll. We compared health notes. She’d unfortunately had another fall but celebrated her birthday with balloons and an opera singer performing outside. I’d heard nothing from my sickbed on the other side of the house. Phil later said he had. “She must have been good, it sounded like a recording.” “It’s a pity the rest of the terrace didn’t know. We could have stood on our doorsteps to enjoy the magic.” Enquiring if they’d had the jab, he had. She declared “no chance!” “Oh come on! If they wanted to put chips in us, they’d have done it decades ago. And anyway, Google can already track you.” Chuckling, he said: “I’ve told her, who’d want to track us?” “Good point!” I laughed

Forcing myself to rise again on Tuesday, Phil offered to take on the chores. But fed up with so much time in bed, I persevered with cleaning, writing and a trip to the co-op – not too stressful for once. Paying at the kiosk, my member’s card did a vanishing trick. An old acquaintance appeared just in time to indicate its location on the floor. Aching from the heavy load, I rested in the afternoon which helped my back but not my brain.

As deaths were down almost a quarter, a PHS study found ‘spectacular’ hospitalisation reductions of 94% after a dose of the Oxford/AZ vaccine, 85% for Pfizer and 75% in the over 80’s. Schools in Wales and Scotland re-started and Sturgeon announced the ‘stay at home order’ would end north of the border on 5^th April with a return to the system of levels.

The anticipated roadmap out of lockdown dominated English news. Following a Commons session, Boris gave a Monday evening press briefing. Calling the 4-step plan a ‘one way road to freedom’, but undertaken ‘with utmost care’ with 5 weeks between each step to assess the effect on 4 ‘safety tests’ (numbers vaccinated, effectiveness in reducing hospitalisation and death, rates of infection, and emergence of mutants strains). He promised no tiers or curfews but said regional lockdowns were an option to supress surges. Warning of ‘trade-offs’ with more deaths and hospital cases, he maintained there was no such thing as a ‘Covid-free Britain’ and we’d have to live with it like flu. I reflected on the lack of a flu season during the winter. That didn’t happen by magic. Had they learnt nothing from the reduction in touching and breathing on each other? Saying they’d be ‘lead by the data, not dates’, The Bumbler proceeded to reel off a list of dates for each step:

Step 1 – 8^th March – schools and colleges to open with twice-weekly testing and masks for secondary pupils. Students on practical university courses could return but the rest would stay on-line, to be reviewed at Easter. We could have a ‘coffee on a bench’ with 1 other person and 1 regular visitor would be allowed for care home residents.

29^th March – The ‘stay at home’ order ended but we should still keep local. We could meet as groups of 6 or as 2 households outdoors, including private gardens. Outdoor sport and playgroups could resume, capped at 15 participants. There was no mention of going to the office or using public transport.

Step 2 – 12^th April – non-essential shops, gyms and salons would re-open, pubs and restaurants could serve alcohol outdoors and self-catering domestic overnight stays were permitted, including camping. Outdoor venues like zoos and theme parks, indoor play areas, libraries and community centres could also open.

Step 3 – 17^th May – indoor mixing of 6 people or 2 households and up to 30 people outdoors, was permitted. All hospitality, cinemas, theatres, concert halls and sports venues could open, with half-capacity crowds. Adult sport and indoor classes were allowed. Hotels and B&Bs could open and foreign holidays may be possible.

Step 4 – 21^st June – all legal limits on social contact would be removed thus enabling greater indoor mixing, nightclubbing and larger events such as festivals. There was no mention of face coverings or social-distancing rules, although a review was planned.

There’d be pilots of larger crowds and consideration of a ‘Covid Status Certification’ for international travel, later muted to include access to pubs as well as planes. Foreign holiday bookings jumped 7-fold overnight. As The Bumbler confirmed Tuesday that the Glove-puppet would lead the review, he said he was optimistic but “nothing can be guaranteed.” Mike Tildesley warned: “There are certain areas (inner city, deprived)…where vaccine uptake is not high… if we do get these pockets of infection…we could have a more significant risk.”

4 scientists responded in The Guardian. Devi Sridhar said while Boris had finally learned a lesson on overpromising and underdelivering, there were still problems to overcome. She advocated a measles approach to public health, involving vaccines, mass testing and supported isolation. “The imminent risk now is the full return of schools on 8^th March leading to uncontrolled transmission.” Jennifer Dowd of Oxford University added opening schools with little mitigation in place was risky.

SPI-M’s Graham Medley maintained: “Balancing the amount of social contact with the speed of the vaccine roll-out will allow us to exit the epidemic with minimal damage from now on. This will not be the end of Covid-19, and there will be more twists in the tale. But the next few months will be a key step in learning how to live with it.” SPI-B’s Stephen Reicher intoned: “whether this roadmap will ensure an ‘irreversible’ lifting of restrictions is again found in the detail.” A sustainable long-term strategy always was ‘and is still’ lacking. He advocated other measures besides vaccinations including improved TIT, resources to self-isolate, common standards to make places ‘Covid safe’ and proper border controls.ⁱⁱ

Merry Mayhem

I awoke far too early on Wednesday, fatigued and slightly nasal. Phil also felt a bit ill. After a dose of Echinacea, I got going on life admin and writing. During my siesta, I succeeded in 10 minutes’ mindfulness, promptly expelled copious amounts of wind and felt much better all round. Had I expelled stress too? A much better night-time sleep confirmed the theory.

Keir Starmer was exacerbated by another PMQs ‘with no answers’. Quizzed on financial support, Boris called Kier a ‘rocking stool’, said his agenda was ‘paltry’ and advised he wait for next week’s budget. Ian Blackford wanted to know if there’d be another decade of tory austerity. Boris didn’t answer and deflected the question to rant about the SNP wanting to break up Britain.

Following a campaign by DJ Jo Wiley, some people with learning disabilities would be prioritised in the vaccine queue. It was up to GPs to identify them. Neil Ferguson idiotically predicted the ‘road map’ end-date might be sooner than 21^st June if the vaccine roll-out exceeded expectations. Van Dam disagreed: “I don’t want to blow it.” USA deaths reached 500,000 but their vaccine programme was progressing at last. Gwyneth Poltroon shared barmy treatments for long-Covid including ‘intuitive fasting’ and infrared saunas. Top NHS Prof. Stephen Powis diplomatically said her methods were “not really the solutions we’d recommend.” Latitude, Reading and Leeds summer festivals were going ahead. Would revellers need a jab passport? What about under 18’s who weren’t inoculated? It could be a merry mayhem of a Covid-fest!

Thursday was altogether much cheerier. We both felt much better and sun streamed through the windows. Phil helped clear cobwebs dangling from the bedroom ceiling. I spent the rest of the day drafting an article for Valley Life magazineⁱⁱⁱ, adding layers to the Photoshop collage, and going to the market. No queue at the fish van but a limited choice reminded me of Phil’s experience a couple of weeks ago when there was an absence of shellfish. The Fishmonger blamed the famine on Rick Stein telling everyone to eat it now it wasn’t getting to Europe. One of the veg stalls stocked fabled rhubarb from the magical triangle. The sticks fell out of my bag near the riverside steps. Stopping to re-pack, coffee-cuppers and whooping toddlers made me anxious. In spite of my efforts, they fell out again. A hipster behind me said “you need that.” “Indeed. Ever since it was featured on Sunday Brunch, I’ve been thinking: rhubarb!” Emerging from a late afternoon rest, Phil immediately shut the curtains against the dusk as the temperature plummeted.

The alert level down from 5 to 4, the NHS was at less risk of being overwhelmed. The Queen appeared on zoom and advised people to think of others, but didn’t say they were selfish for not having the jab, as the Daily Mail screamed in typical melodramatic style. Emergence of the SA variant in Ealing led to surge testing while Moderna’s tweaked vaccine could be available soon.

Teachers welcomed school catch-up funding to include summer schools, but wanted a longer-term strategy. Teacher assessments were confirmed in place of exams. With tests optional, some warned of inflated grades. Against a backdrop of rising unemployment, The TUC said it was twice as high among the BAME community compared to whites. Asda announced a ‘structural shift’ due to more internet shopping and less cash use, threatening 5,000 jobs, but 4,500 new online jobs were promised. Dodds said councils should be allowed to take over empty shops. Evil tech villain Musk’s skylink provided super-fast broadband in rural areas at an astronomical £89 per month. It sounded spookily like Skynet in The Terminator. Question Time sparked debate on jab passports. What was to stop businesses having their own? Shats tried to defend The Cock’s claim there was never a shortage of PPE, even though we all remembered the mayhem in over-stretched and under-resourced hospitals. Jo Grady called it blatantly misleading.

An almost-full bright moon mitigated against sleep. Even with use of the meditation soundtrack, my slumber was disjointed. Thus I rose later than planned on Friday and had to get a move on to be ready for the Ocado delivery. Unloading a pile of cans and bottles, the driver observed: “Not many people order Mateus.” “Did you know it was the very first rose wine? “Really? My mum used to drink it.” “She’s probably my age then!” Feeling old, I struggled to get the bags to the kitchen, even with Phil’s help carrying the heaviest. “He sounded like a right Rupert.” “I guess he’s had to redeploy with all the hipster bars shut.” Exhausted, I collapsed on the sofa.

Unfortunately, I still needed some stuff for the weekend. Hoping to find treats for Phil’s birthday in the co-op, I declined his offer to accompany me. “After all, grocery shops are virtually the only place I can get your presents.” “I don’t mind extra food.” “It’s a good job!” Searching for items, I saw notices on the egg shelf denoting continuation of the cardboard shortage. I asked my mate at the kiosk if could put the trolley-load through. He apologetically but understandably refused. Avoiding an altercation with the cowbag, cashier, I used the adjacent till.

A lorry at shed boy’s place blocked the steps so I trudged the longer way home. Alerted by the evening news to the appearance of a full Snow Moon, we paused film-night to take photos outside. Phil provided expert tips resulting in superior shots to any of my previous efforts.

Unions blasted the decision not to bump police and teachers up the vaccination priority list. Chair of the Police Federation John Apter said: “This is a very deep and damaging betrayal and will not be forgotten.” Was that a threat? Would there be mayhem on un-patrolled streets? Paul Whiteman, NAHT, whinged: “the government has let them (teachers) down at every turn.” Wei Shem Lin of JCV defended sticking to age criteria: “structuring an entire mass vaccination programme around occupations would be even more difficult.”

In an appeal brought by the Home Office, The Supreme Court ruled that ISIS child-bride Shamima Begum would pose a security risk if she was allowed into the country to appeal against having her British citizenship withdrawn. David Davis tweeted it was a ‘disappointing verdict…the UK cannot simply wash our hands of Brits in Syrian camps’. Quite. And why couldn’t they put measures in place to ensure she wasn’t a threat?

Due to a late night, I had a wobbly start on Saturday and stayed in to finish the collage. Phil went to the shop. He was gone so long I got worried and tried ringing but the call went straight to voicemail. When he rang back, I couldn’t pick up! By the time we spoke, he was almost home. He’d unfathomably gone to town instead of the co-op as I’d assumed, dodging coffee-cuppers and queuing in the convenience store. Due to the delay, dinner prep had to start as soon as we’d had lunch. To compound matters, he said he’d cook but I ended up doing most of it, including rhubarb crumble.

Mystery Unsolved

Sunday, I awoke early to blinding brightness then fell back to sleep until 10. On opening the curtains, the roofs looked white and shiny. Confused, it transpired I’d just missed an intense but brief hailstorm. Wanting to go for a walk in the sun, we bathed and breakfasted as quickly as possible. However, it was past 2 when we were ready. I took some recycling out and spotted a child’s ball in the gutter. Kicking it back to dad, he was surrounded by kids, even though he only had one (to my knowledge) thus not all from the same household.

Walking out in the spring-like warmth, we greeted a neighbour sitting in her back garden. Continuing my research into vaccine take-up, she didn’t know when her invite was due. As she was in our age group, I was able to tell her it would be soon.

On the towpath, Phil commented on the emergence of aging drinkers on benches. “They come out of hibernation around now, like the buds.” Very busy in the park, I observed. “Those native Americans knew a thing or two about the Snow Moon signalling the end of winter.” We climbed up to farmland, finding the fields largely devoid of livestock. We noticed ridges on the slope and a man-made water feature at the bottom for the first time. Subsequently consulting an old map, the site was marked ‘mill pond’ and a mill labelled nearby – a reminder that every opportunity was taken to exploit the landscape in more industrial times. Further up, a decrepit border collie lumbered past. A woman with her own dog asked was it ours. “We assumed it belonged to the farm.” “No, it doesn’t.” As another woman stopped her car, they made a phone call to locate the owner. They obviously all knew each other up there! Resting on a bench at the next corner, a veritable herd of old sheepdogs appeared, this time corralled by their owners. On the way down, we veered off cobbles to cut through the west side of the dark wood. Among the curious arrangements we’d seen in August, we noted several stones of a distinct blue hue with surfaces resembling bubbles. Was it brought here by druids from Wales? We also spotted a painted stone in the hollow of a tree base, deliberately planted holly and makeshift hutments. “Someone believes this place is mystical.” The path became tricky on the last stretch with squelchy mud and a strange channel barely big enough for one foot. Nearing home, skinny catkins sprouted from spindly branches above the river. Inordinately tired after the short walk, we agreed it had been lovely to see signs emerging of the turning of the seasons. (for a fuller description of the walk, see ‘Cool Places’^iv).

During a mediocre night, Covid dreams featured tenements randomly populated by strangers and friends. I inexplicably took a pizza to Vegan Friend. She ate it before I realised it wasn’t vegan!

Over the weekend, the numbers receiving vaccinations reached 20m. Between them, the EU, UK, USA, Australia, Canada and Japan had 1bn extra doses. Over 100 poorer countries had none. PHE found 6 cases of the F1 Manaus variant; 3 each in Scotland and England, 1 of whom was a mystery – they’d failed to fully complete the form rendering them uncontactable.

In Yorkshire, a family was found camping on the edge of a cliff on The Cleveland Way. Lambasted by coastguards, the police were alerted to a breach of Coronavirus Laws.

References:

i. My haigas: https://wordpress.com/posts/mondaymorninghaiga.wordpress.com

ii. Guardian article: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/feb/22/england-covid-roadmap-lockdown-experts-view

iii. Valley Life Magazine: http://valleylifemagazine.co.uk/

iv. My Cool Places blog: https://hepdenerose.wordpress.com/

The Corvus Diaries

A Journal of the Coronavirus

sheepdog